Awakening

Awakening

 

 

 

the hush of morning

creeps clandestinely into

my stream of consciousness

 

with each cup of coffee

it rallies the effect

of a cigarette half smoked,

as a love unrequited.

 

 

photography by / Victor Bauer

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Awesome wording and expressions. Never a smoker; i like coffee ☕ and tea 🍵 though.
Pic is awesome.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you so much, Sami! How wonderful to have you here. The artwork is amazing. I drew my inspiration from it.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! Good to know. You are welcome 😊.

[Samuel Dickens]

First of all, I'm wild about the painting! You couldn't have chosen a more effective one to go with your yummy words. Like you, I've been drinking coffee forever. For 28 years, I smoked, too, and vividly recall that first coffee and cigarette I had to have each morning. A wicked marriage, that was. Heart bypass at age 43 made me quit the ciggies, but that doesn't keep me from totally embracing these words.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Everybody loves the painting! It certainly makes a good pairing with my poem, so I'm quite pleased with it. My husband had bypass surgery ten years ago. Smoking is a hard habit to break, so good for you for kicking it! I am thrilled you enjoyed my offering. Take care, Sam!

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent poem. I can empathise except I don't drink coffee and I don't smoke. Although I once did both.
I can still feel the understanding and overall feeling here.
My colleagues when I was a teacher used to say that I wan't a morning person. Perhaps this is why.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I don't smoke, never have. But I've been drinking coffee since high school. People often ask me how I did one without the other. Thanks so much for your visit, Ken. And congrats on no longer smoking!

[Ken Simm.]

5th Nov 1980.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Wow, that's pretty impressive! You should be proud of yourself!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was lovely. It's raining here now. The mornings I always like best are after the snow. When it gets so quiet and the world is all muffled by falling white flakes. I am glad I quit smoking many years ago, though. It's a habit I do not miss. The coffee, I'll be drinking that when they tag my toe. ;) Thanks for sharing your words. I enjoyed the read.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I can't imagine a day without coffee! I never smoked, but some of my poems bare mention to it. It's a habit that's hard to break. Good for you on that accomplishment!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Should never have started so... worse on me for taking it up as a teen. We actually had a "designated smoking area" for the kids at our high school. Shows you how much things have changed. And, in my opinion, for the better in that regard. But we never had any, "school shootings" then. My brother did a layout in our High School annual of him and another student in cowboy get-ups. My brother was wearing an actual pistol (unloaded of course) in a holster (it was my dad's) and his fellow classmate was holding shotgun (also not loaded) for the photo shot. My brother was on the senior student annual production staff. Nobody even blinked at the thought of the lay-out. Our vice-principal just said, "You boys make sure those things aren't loaded, we don't want any accidents." Different times eh?

[Relic]

Yes, like a love not fully there - incomplete, or not there at all. A feeling like that can naw at us even in the back of our minds.

Short but sweet. Good one, Kelly. :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you most kindly, Tim!

[John the Baptist]

Interesting observation and metaphor here. I can't identify, though. Before the first cup of coffee, I can't really qualify as conscious.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'm with you on that, John. Thank you so much!

[W. Barrett Munn]

Would line 3 read better as my stream of consciousness? I get the feeling that you, like I often do, also might have strained a bit too hard for alliteration when a metaphor may work better.

Winston

[Kelly Scheppers]

It would! Thank you my friend for pointing that out to me. Much appreciate the sage advice.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Okay! So, I am apparently a little trollop! LOL! When looking at the list of new writing, I saw the thumbnail for your picture. With my twisted vision (and apparently naughty thoughts), it appeared as if it was a woman straddled atop a man. I saw your name, and thought, "Uh oh!" LOL! There goes that "I'm not a pearl type of girl" again. :)

Your words are gentle and sweet, like the slow awakening of the day.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Gee, Linda, I never would have thought you to be a trollop! Lol, I love how the "pearls" analogy quickly came to mind...how funny. Thanks so much!

[Ken e Bujold]

enjoyed my invite to read kelly. sharp imagery. I do have one small suggestion: regards last line, have you/did you consider the possibility of x'ing "of" or even "of a"
my sense of line thinks the scan might read tighter, really zeroing in on the last image as
a love unrequited or as love unrequited

just a thought

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I actually agree with you. It reads much better as "a love unrequited."

[Kelly Scheppers]

Thank you both, Ken and Linda. You're right, it does read better. I'll make a note to make the change. Thank you!

[willweb]

Mornings bring many things to light, a new day beckons, daydreams begin and everything starts anew. The previous day's problems are yesterday as today is your day. Love awaits, open your eyes and find it. Wonderfully written.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I have a propensity for writing more in the early morning than I do any other time of day. Just give me a cup of coffee, and I'm off. Thank you for the light you bring, Will!