Chapter 11

     I ran in the house yelling for Amy, no answer, oh s**t, she's down the street, I grabbed my keys and off I went, he wasn't getting away this time.  I pulled out about two minutes

behind him, but I knew right where to go.  I passed Amy, I was so intent on catching Mike I was going to leave her, but I struggled with that decision.  I turned around and went back for Amy and sped in the direction of crack town. 

     I pulled into the neighborhood and saw police lights and went in that direction, just then I saw that hot rod out of the corner of my eye, I hit my brakes and slammed it into reverse, barely checking behind me.  I turned down the street and he was out of sight, I took a left where he would have had to turn to get away from me, and sure enough there he was, full speed ahead and right into a curve, his car could handle it, but could my van. 

     I know I took that curve on two wheels, braking and speeding up as my van would allow.  All the while my hands on the horn blowing that horn for all it was worth.  Attention was what I wanted, where in the hell was that cop.  Mike made another turn and I was one car back, still holding that horn.  He made another turn and now I was behind him, he slowed down and I got next to him, I had completely lost my mind at this point, I rolled the window down, let off the horn and screamed, you pull that f*****g car over or I'll wreck it.  I had every intention of doing just that. 

     Mike pulled over in front of the fire station, then I saw he had someone in the car, I yelled "you get your f*****g a*s out of that car you sorry son of a b***h,  Mike I want you out of that car now, get out, shut it off, I mean it Mike shut it off!"  I wasn't putting mine in park until I had his keys.  I was shaking like a leaf!  Mike turned his car off and I jumped out and grabbed his keys.  A fireman came out and asked if I needed any help.  I asked him if we could leave the car there for half an hour until I could find someone to drive it home,  I certainly wasn't going to let Mike take off again.  He said I could leave it there. 

     After calling Mike a liar and a cheater and I mean I went off on him like I never had before.  He tried to promise me he would follow me home. 

     "Yeah right!  NOT!!!  NO! NO! NO! Get in the damn van now!"  I shouted! 

     "No mom I swear to GOD let me take it home."  Mike asked. 

     "Do I look stupid to you?" I asked again. 

     "All right then I'll drive the van with Amy and you follow me in my car."  he negotiated. 

     I was looking around at where I was and not liking what I saw and I said, "okay, lets get the hell out of here." 

     I followed him home in his car.  Then Amy told me that when I had taken grandma home he had left twice. 

     "Did you get anything Mike?"  I grilled him.

     "No."  He answered. 

     "Does that guy have your money?"  I wanted to know. 

     "Yes,"  he answered. 

     "Good!" I responded powerfully. 

     I never thought he would go back there after that, let alone in my van, but he damn sure did.

     I told him you are going to have to start taking bromo again, you must, I won't let you out of my sight until I see you take them, this is getting bad again, Mike, you have to work to keep clean.

     He calmed down for a few days but then I could see he was getting an attitude, "this is something I have to do myself damn it!"  "You can't do it for me!"  "I want my car back, My credit cards, and my money." 

     That's when his counselor told me to give him everything back and let go.  His dad didn't think it was a very good idea, I didn't either.  We sat down with Mike and told him so.  His counselor said let him be a man! 

Mike said "let me be a man, quit trying to control me, I won't let you control me, I can do this, I can control myself."

     His dad handed him his car keys, the envelope full of credit cards, bank books and his money.  His dad and I said we hoped his counselor knew what she was talking about.  We told him now you're in control, handle it! 

     We were supposed to leave that weekend for Busch Gardens, Amy was very excited, we were all very excited.  Mike's car didn't last long, you could count on that hot rod to break down at least once a week.  When it did break down, he just parked it and took one of our cars.  He wanted to get a haircut before we left for the weekend, and he had to go to drug treatment and sign in, so he asked me if he could use my van, I told him to ask his dad, his dad said yes.  Mike asked when he had to be back and I told him I needed him to come right back, we still had work to finish before we left.

     An hour passed, two hours passed, I called the salon, he hadn't been there.  S**t! No!  He wouldn't!  Three hours passed, I called the salon again, they hadn't seen him.  There was only one reason he would let us down.  Please let me be wrong, after all that "be my own man stuff", I was dumbfounded! 

     Big Mike took me home about four thirty and my van was there,  It hadn't been there an hour ago when I was looking for him, we went inside and there he was hiding again, don't see me, don't be mad at me, I'm sorry, nothing said, just relayed through eye contact. 

     His dad went into his room and told him to pack his s**t and get out!  My heart was breaking, telling him we're not putting up with it and not putting up with it are definitely two different things.

     What was supposed to be said was, Mike if this is the life you want to live, your going to have to find someplace else to live it.  As much as we love you, we can not sit back and watch you do this to yourself.  Wondering and praying if you are all right.  Worrying that we might never see you alive again,

watching you destroy yourself with this terrible drug. 

     That was what should have been said, but his father does have his own way with words.