~Falling Apart at the Seams~

I am tearing and falling apart at the seams...

[[IMG]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh75/shanty242/Broken_heart_by_fabu.jpg[/IMG]
~Falling Apart at the Seams~

I�m tearing and falling apart at the seams
Giving up and casting away all of my dreams
Crying out and weeping till my tears run dry
I hang my head and watch the world pass me by
Seeing you around breaks my heart in two
A beautiful woman on your arm walking next to you
My pulse races as our eyes start to meet
Standing and staring as you pass me on the street
Seconds go by and I have to tell myself to breath
My hearts in my stomach as I watch you leave
Vivid flashbacks flow through my mind
Our perfect love frozen and stuck in time
I Dial your number just to hear your voice mail
But when a woman answers I hang up and bail,
Making my already fragile heart break once more
My body gives way and crumbles to the floor
Why is it so easy for you to just walk right by?
Without painful memories or one tear in your eye
I build myself back up and start to repair
But my whole being shifts with just your stare
Why can�t I get over you and realize that you�re gone
I�ll just have to except that I�m destined to walk alone...

Author's Note

Your honest opinion is always valued..thanks for the read..

Reviews

[Rod Zinkel]

This is one case where I don't think rhyme is necessary, or may even detract from the point. When rhyme is used it brings order to the subject that prose does not. While we all order our thoughts to some extent to write, the subject is one that causes disorder. So, something to think about.

[Amanda Abra]

This is a great poem! Ah.... jealousy, and the things that men cam make a woman feel and do! Well, not that men aren't capable of feeling jealousy either, but in either case... this poem makes me want to try rhyming again. There's just something about a good rhyme that enforces valuable words to become etched in your brain forever! Rhyme on, girl.

:)

[Milan Mitchell]

You spoke to the problematic feelings surrounding a break up. I believe the pain surrounding these discomforting feelings are very real for many of us.

Great read.

Thanks.

[Kris Tate]

Oh I really really enjoyed reading that, I had to read it twice. The pain is so evident and it tears at you because we have all been there. I think it is a beautiful piece.

[RAWR!]

girl thats crazy,
and that picture is like a weird echo of the words.
nice choice.
it feels very timeless even though there are references to modern things like telephones.
the images got me lost, in a good way, i forgot the fact if this was your poem about you, or about my own past.
kinda took my mental images and made them your buildingblocks.
well written.
thank you for sharing.

[Dani California]

Ooh!!! This was a direct hit to the heart! Wow - beautiful work here. Very emotional.... and painful to those of us who relate.

Well done :)

[Theta S. T.]

I think this piece has this erie feel to it, but it fits so well......I really love the structure of this piece to me it makes it beliveable. Geat write

~~Theta

[Aradie Rain]

i know how you feel, and im sorry you had to go through this. i used to have to deal with this everyday and it was hard. to be able to capture somthing like that with so much emotion is heartbreakingly...awsome.
good job keep it up

[Robert Wilson]

Written wonderfully, but kind of cliched

[Angela H.]

It is sometimes hard to get to the pure honesty of an experience when putting oneself through the structure of rhyme, but not in this case, dear friend. I felt you. Well done.

On a content level - I'm sorry you are suffering through heartbreak (and that illustration really is wrenching)! As a veteran with many battlescars, I know you will grow strong again!