Where's the Cream

Warning there is one wee curse word at the end.

Where's the Cream

What do you mean?
You don't have any cream?
the Starbucks-spoiled princess did yelp;
she lamented; and let out a scream.

Holy Green Mermaid! she carried on.
I see skim, 2-percent, and whole milk, 
there's even a fermented bean juice, 
rotting away on the shelf!

Half and half is not the same,
my petulant apron-clad friend.
Put that water-downed atrocity away;
you put it away in the bin!

It's cream in my coffee, 
the fattier the better.
This cup is my nirvana;
calories don't count in heaven. 

Now, I know what your thinking;
Our little princess should switch to decaf tea
The problem, our little princess ...
                                  our little princess is me.

So take my advice for another day, 
another day you want to live, that is.
For without my morning cup of joe,
this princess is a fire-spitting dragon. 

From my dead gripping talons, 
will you get my cup of caffeine;
so wipe that silly smirk from your face;
soothe the beast ... a
nd get me some f*****g cream!!!

Author's Note

Reviews

[Mittens]

I am never getting between you and your caffeine... that is a dangerous situation. In fact, it might be safer for us all to just invent a way of introducing it to your system intravenously. But on the plus side, apparently that wonderful chemical leads to some fantastic writing out of you, so we might actually up your dosage.

By the way, I love that your "I don't care what you think of my Starbuck's Princess" side and how you're unapologetic about it. You do such a good job of the perspective that I'm willing to bet you could write a story about two year old throwing a tantrum and actually have the reader sympathizing with what we would normally perceive as a annoying incident.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Matt. It's all about perspective really. I mean how ridiculous to get so upset over such a small thing. (PS. I am not really this bad.) We are so blessed, but yeah cream is better. Part of my philosophy in this life is to laugh off as much as you can, and laugh at yourself as much as you can, leaving the fretting for the big stuff. So glad you enjoyed and another fantastic review, sir.

[Trace]

ah yes, just finished four nights at the copper mine, and now I am enjoying that cup of coffee, and yes, with real cream. I like to stir the coffee just a little then slowly pour the cream in and watch it rise back to the top in circles. I don't know how anyone can stand it black. Enjoyed this poem this morning.
Trace

[Pryde Foltz]

Yes, cream and coffee are magical.

[Marie]

I love that image...

[kublakhan27]

An important lesson to be learned here: never tinker with someone's coffee, it's a sensitive matter...no shortage of quirkiness here, with a little social commentary thrown in...some great lines as well, love "calories don't count in heaven"...great piece Pryde.

[Pryde Foltz]

Glad you enjoyed. Long live coffee. Thank you, Steve.

[kublakhan27]

Amen to that...always a pleasure.

[Ankit Mahar]

This was a good poem .lol .I am still laughing in my chair.

[Pryde Foltz]

Glad it gave you a giggle. Thank you, Ankit.

[Ankit Mahar]

You are most welcome sis .

[Ruth]

lol This made me laugh, and damn it, we should be able to indulge ;) Awesome xx

[Pryde Foltz]

Indulging is essential. Thank you, Poppy.

[Mark]

hahaha, if civilization falls apart it is coffee that will be missed the most. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Yep, we all have to go back to herbal teas. Thank you, Mark.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

"This cup is my nirvana; calories don't count in heaven. " Now this is downright HILARIOUS and TRUE. :)

And I love the element of surprise in this stanza:

Now, I know what your thinking;
Our little princess should switch to decaf tea
The problem, our little princess ...
our little princess is me.

Another good write!
P.S. I agree that coffee tastes better with cream. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Yes, black is trihards. lol. Thank you, Blue.

[Great Aunt Astri]

In the old days people seemed to do well on fat and unadulterated food. Today half of us walk around craving things we can't have. I love the 'melodrama' of your poem! And the way you are poking a bit of fun at yourself!

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh I eat way more fat than is recommended and I do just fine. It really is the sugar/fructose/glucose rich foods in the presence of fat and on their own that are reeking all the havoc. Thank you, Auntie.

[Frieda P]

Ha you slay me Pryde, we can be pretty crazed about our caffeine, especially that first cuppa joe in the morning, who can think straight without one, enjoyed! Will let your 'wee' curse slide since it's about coffee who could blame you?

[Pryde Foltz]

Yeah, I did want to warn people up front about the curse. FYI, I only swore in my head at the coffee guy. Thank you, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Well hell he fookin deserved it but that was sweet of you. ;-)