To my Thirteen year old self

future to past self

Hi, Rhianne,  I am you in the future but I want to remind you that you can always change your future. Please forget the past that is blinding you from your dreams. Live for the present so you can face the future with a head held up high.

      You’re a paranoid person in the future, you don’t trust anyone and you’re always left alone, I don’t want that to happen so please try your hardest to change and do your best. Open up from your shell and ran outside, mark your footprints in the ground, feel the breeze greeting you as you go; so with the touch of sunlight on your skin, run as far as you can and be free. You’re unique and you’ll never be anyone else, Love yourself and be happy. Good luck, I know you can do it.

Author's Note

thanks for the kind reviews(:

Reviews

[Serenity Faith]

I wish I could've given my thirteen year old self as good advice as you did. But then I realize that my troubles that I faced made me who I am today. I might find myself in a bit of a rut sometimes, but I always step forward. I loved the encouragement in your story. Never give up on your dreams! And know you're not alone. We're all here for you whenever you need us. We might not be able to see you in perrson, but sometimes receiving encouragement if only through writing helps with healing a hurt heart.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks a lot for a good message, I appreciate it ;D

[Eile MacIntyre]

Good advice.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review! ;D

[Azura]

Aw, it'd be nice to tell the you of the past things like this. It's only saddening because experience changes you into stuff like this, huh? It'd be nice to remind yourself once in a while be happy and true. I like it. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review! ;D

[Leslie Philibert]

Great idea, sad , dramatic poem - an internal dialog as poem - a cracker

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the review! ;D

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Very good yan-yan X3 Listening to P!nk does wonders~

Everyone wants to do this, give advice to that miserable little child we once were. It's good that you didn't have to place a lot of literary devices here seeing as the dialogue is so natural

nice read

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for reading and reviewing

[Pax]

It would be great to know such things in the future. But I still don't want to know my future, for the fact that its changable, coz i believed in living in the momentI dont want to stress myself out knowing that i'm gonna die in that specific time, or i'll do something really dumb in that time etc.. This is really good and a very thought provoking piece. and about the piece it needed a little refining..other than that great work.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for reading (;

[Drifter]

wow. after reading this i think about what i would say to myself if i could. The thing that really awes me is that the advice we give our younger selves just isn't possible..we've already been through it. I guess even though we wish we would have been different, our experiences have shaped us into who we are today. Good write, it really makes the reader think and reflect upon their former selves.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for reading (:

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Hmm, well, I see I'm late to the party. Sorry... :)

Other guests have given you their presents; all useful, good and well-intentioned.

As for me, I'm just going to help my self to some of the refreshments offered in this piece. I think your personal, future time line reflection is quite tasty! I wonder if you notice that you have served this particular one on a shiny plate of infinity? It displays the infinite number of possible futures of yourself.

You look at them through the lens of your imagination and see each one offering a different set of life-events; each progressing toward different destinations. Some very similar and some quite different.

I wonder which one you will choose - now - this now? You know that at any given point you can move from one to another. That's the best thing about this piece. The self-realization that you can change, at any time, to a different time line and toward a different future.

Well done, Rhianne. |:o)

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for reading and reviewing (:

[MOON]

Lovely write giving yourself advise.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the read

[Persona]

I like it for its length but it can be a bit unreadable. The first sentence for example, "right now, right?" That's awkwardly worded. Try "you're 13." You don't need to specify too much. Then "change your future" is better than "how your future will be" it's the same thing, but shorter and easier. "Away from your dreams" doesn't work. Try "Blinding you from your dreams." Things can be simple, and still good to read. You don't need to complicate things. "Run" not "ran." Cut "on" from "as you go on" it's unnecessary. Don't be afraid to just use full stops. There are times when you use colons and lots of commas where the sentence would naturally end. "on your skin" not "in."
After you make those amendments it will be much better! It's still good to read though, and from a story perspective, it would be nice to know what made you distrustful of others and such. That would make this more interesting because it seems somewhat ranty.

[Rhianne Ney]

I'll edit it