About me...

part of me actually

I sing in the shower only,
The four walls admire its beauty,
This is my stage,
Created by an delusional mage.

I danced in my room,
Stepped on my foot and boom,
Laughing while lying upside down,
Breaking my own crown.

I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land.

I beat the drums in the air,
Loving the bounce of my hair,
A music in my brain,
Playing again and again.

I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

A beautiful piece. I always like poems about oneself because before anyone else, we should know ourselves.

I only have few suggestions here. You have the rhyming aabb from the first up to the fourth stanza. But I found out that you broke it in the last one with abac format.

I think it would be better if:

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's designer,
With this, they will always reminisce
That someone like me exists."

I hope this would enhance this piece. :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Sure, thanks for that (:

[Pencrafter]

Your poem is both interesting and funny. I think it might be even better if your last two lines of the last verse ended with rhyming words, in harmony with the previous verses. Either way it's an enjoyable poem.

[Rhianne Ney]

I'll edit it in time :D

[Nigaiyuki]

I really love your poem!!! It's very touching and I can relate to it... This is awesome!!!

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm so glad that you can relate ;D

[Steven Cash]

You sound like me with some of that

[Rhianne Ney]

Oh, really? ;D glad

[KKBatoretto]

this is amazing! It has amazing description! I love it so much! All the rhymes go really well! I sing in a shower too! Its a bad habit but oh well! And I agree wih the third paragraph! I do that too! If only I could have a real sword...

[Rhianne Ney]

Let's continue singing in the shower...lolz

[KKBatoretto]

I did that last tie I went in the shower, don't worry XD

[Rhianne Ney]

lolz

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Rhianne this is one of the most stoic meaningful poems you have crafted. It is beautiful and expresses the self doubt ofyouth.

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks for the kind review, Mr. McFadyen

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

I enjoyed this poem because you picked quirks to describe yourself which is something most people would never do.

[Rhianne Ney]

thank you, Abdul ;D

[Leslie Philibert]

Indeed a very fine poem,the kind of idea that makes you think..that`s true, why didn`t I think of that ? -a poem with dry humour mixed with self reflecting introspection and serious thoughts, a excellent piece of literature.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks :D

[Lehlohonolo Lichaba]

good work

[Rhianne Ney]

thanks :D

[Asuna234]

I Love it! The poem really got into me. Great Job!

[Rhianne Ney]

haha, di naman u nagreview sa "YOu are you" hinahanap ko nga eh

[Asuna234]

ah sorry ,ito pala yung nagreview-han ko.=P hahahaha

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Not lame at all to be self and have fun. A sight God is happy to see, I'm sure. An excellent expression of how some of us are when no one is looking, except HIM.

[Rhianne Ney]

That's right, thanks for the review ;D