About me...

About me...

A Poem by Rhianne Ney
"

part of me actually

"
I sing in the shower only,
The four walls admire its beauty,
This is my stage,
Created by an delusional mage.

I danced in my room,
Stepped on my foot and boom,
Laughing while lying upside down,
Breaking my own crown.

I speak in front of the mirror,
Imagining a shining armor,
With a sword in my hand,
Conquering an enchanted land.

I beat the drums in the air,
Loving the bounce of my hair,
A music in my brain,
Playing again and again.

I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's creator,
With this, they will always remember
That someone like me exists.

© 2013 Rhianne Ney


Author's Note

Rhianne Ney

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Featured Review

A beautiful piece. I always like poems about oneself because before anyone else, we should know ourselves.

I only have few suggestions here. You have the rhyming aabb from the first up to the fourth stanza. But I found out that you broke it in the last one with abac format.

I think it would be better if:

"I put my thoughts on paper,
I am my world's designer,
With this, they will always reminisce
That someone like me exists."

I hope this would enhance this piece. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Sure, thanks for that (:



Reviews

Your poem is both interesting and funny. I think it might be even better if your last two lines of the last verse ended with rhyming words, in harmony with the previous verses. Either way it's an enjoyable poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

I'll edit it in time :D
I really love your poem!!! It's very touching and I can relate to it... This is awesome!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

I'm so glad that you can relate ;D
You sound like me with some of that

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Oh, really? ;D glad
this is amazing! It has amazing description! I love it so much! All the rhymes go really well! I sing in a shower too! Its a bad habit but oh well! And I agree wih the third paragraph! I do that too! If only I could have a real sword...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Let's continue singing in the shower...lolz
KKBatoretto

9 Years Ago

I did that last tie I went in the shower, don't worry XD
Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

lolz
Rhianne this is one of the most stoic meaningful poems you have crafted. It is beautiful and expresses the self doubt ofyouth.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks for the kind review, Mr. McFadyen
I enjoyed this poem because you picked quirks to describe yourself which is something most people would never do.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thank you, Abdul ;D
Indeed a very fine poem,the kind of idea that makes you think..that`s true, why didn`t I think of that ? -a poem with dry humour mixed with self reflecting introspection and serious thoughts, a excellent piece of literature.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

Thanks :D
good work

Posted 9 Years Ago


Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

thanks :D
I Love it! The poem really got into me. Great Job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

haha, di naman u nagreview sa "YOu are you" hinahanap ko nga eh
Asuna234

9 Years Ago

ah sorry ,ito pala yung nagreview-han ko.=P hahahaha
Not lame at all to be self and have fun. A sight God is happy to see, I'm sure. An excellent expression of how some of us are when no one is looking, except HIM.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

9 Years Ago

That's right, thanks for the review ;D

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1873 Views
44 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on September 8, 2012
Last Updated on March 27, 2013

Author

Rhianne Ney
Rhianne Ney

Baguio City, the city of cold temperature, Philippines



About
So there I'm back from the depths of High School Life and can now post anything possible. --- Notice: To some book supporters, I deleted all of them for some issues that I have to battle right no.. more..

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