July Fourth

A senryu series

Independence Hall

proudly dressed in Old Glory

echoes history

 

 

National Anthem

Key’s words sung with swelling pride

our flag is still here

 

 

Black on gold badges

honoring firefighters

Arizona’s brave

 

The Fourth of July

greatest place to be this day

Philadelphia

 

Author's Note

Spent the day in Independence Park...

Reviews

[OTownPete]

Nice grouping of Senryus with a wonderful patriotic message Rita. Your friend in words, Pete

[Rita L. Sev]

Your senryus made me think of this set that I put together on Independence Day. :) Thanks, Pete!

[Baby Ricochet]

Philadelphia is a great city for sure.

[Rita L. Sev]

Yep. Thanks!

[Vria P Crow]

INTRODUCTION

1. This poem is about the true image behind Patriotism!

QUOTE DISSECTION

"Old Glory

echoes history"

This is the favored quote of mine. It reminds us Americans of the good deeds the country has accomplished rather than focusing on the negative.

"swelling pride"

Frankly, "pride" is an unsettling word for me because it carries a negative connotation to it. However, i believe you meant as pure "happyness" to be an American.

"honoring firefighters"

"Honor" is what I respect the most in a Nation. Well done!

CONCLUSION

1. I celebrated with you in Pennsylvania! :)

Nice work! This poem is Donald trumpted my negativity! :P

[Rita L. Sev]

Loving the term "Donald Trumped your negativity"! Thank you. :)

[Vria P Crow]

haha You are welcome :P I'm currently working on my perspective of America that you will either love or hate me for!

[Rita L. Sev]

Even if I disagree, I will not hate...

[Vria P Crow]

:) Nicely put. It is called "Mirage of Freedom." If anything, I am all about love people, and then very sarcastic! Thank you sweetie!

[Will]

Very poignant piece, Rita. You hit the emotional, raw, and important part of this holiday right on the head. Great work

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Will

[Jack...]

I am jealous, I love that part of the city, the history, the people who at one time had walked those very streets. Dreaming of what once was and seeing what it has become is amazing to me. I would have had to make a stop at the Franklin Institute as well. Very nicely done Rita.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jack! I forget how lucky I am to have Old City so easily accessible to me - I am there so often. But on July 4th, it is an especially wonderful place to be! Don't forget the Mutter Museum... ;)

[Jack...]

Another fav along with the Rodin Museum for me, but...Remember the Alamo!!!

[Angel]

Your pride in your country is contagious, my friend!
I just wanna say...your country should be proud to have you as a citizen...

Happy Independence Day, Little Bird!!

[Rita L. Sev]

I am proud of what we are, and what we are yet to be... Thank you, Angel my friend! :)

[Shaun Payton]

Happy Independence Day! Me likes your senyru there

[Rita L. Sev]

Glad you liked! Thanks, Shaun!

[Shaun Payton]

:) welcome!

[ShelleyA]

Hi Rita. An excellent traditional Senryu string for Independence day. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form. Skillfully crafted. You capture the spirit of the fourth of July beautifully in this piece. Good depth of feeling in regards to remembrance of freedom won by those who have gone before us... poignant. Well penned and a good read. Write on!

[Rita L. Sev]

Your review is much appreciated, Shelley! I spent some "down time" waiting for the festivities to begin, so I employed my notebook... :)

[ShelleyA]

You're welcome Rita. I always carry a notebook wherever I go to jot down my writings... even when I ride to work on the bus.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good pieces, that Arizona one really zapped my heart...that is just so sad what happened to those brave men...

[Rita L. Sev]

The Rangers were wearing the black bands; it was truly touching... Thank you, Jacob.

[Angi]

You are in the best place to celebrate this day! Happy 4th, my friend! Angi~

[Rita L. Sev]

Absolutely! Thanks, Angi - you, too!