In review, as I found a pearl of whit in a Members last stanza.
Very well an thoughtful Rhymed and a hopeful Rhythm natural, in a
Stanza's... in her case. Classic four lines. With out the use of the
proposed induced pause. In indeed, find one lone an lonely coma. And,
not one period? This was the review gifted. Right or Wrong. Posted. As I
wonder, an shall seek it out ... is this common? Funny the things we
don't look for or perceive, until. We find ourselves, in quite a lot of
Poetry....
On a site such as
this, I've never participate in before. I'm finding very
educationally... fun. To be Artistic and play with the process as entertainment, lik in the making of the following was entertaining! Ya Ha, hillbilly!
(Please
if it found be wrong. To post review commentary on another poets work
I'll take it out as they are published writings...Ro...)
Nightmares... I had a few. Visions
I've had some. One recently... but
later. Your poem remind of an itch, you know. The kind! The deep sweat,
knowing. Your elsewhere. in this writers hell. Late past wondering,
fatigued eyes, nitty gritty dirt swimming around, with Average White
Band's pool. So
tired ya giggle thinking about Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.... Been There?
The
dream rolls around, over an over. Like a skipping record. Ya spring
from your mattress and scream. Into the dark stupid demented
unforgiving hell. That just won't, clear. " OhGod... where'd, the periods.
Go'! -----Till your voice, crack.----- Oh dear!
Your processor. Growin teeth
and chasing you through the house,
chanting... undulating vibrato's, "coma coma coma coma coma comma comma
coma... karma chameleon. We come an go!" 'Jesus save me!' Your back, at
the monitor again. Line after line, is just zipping by. Over an over
the mouse can't be caught, an has grown fur an a tail. Finally, the mad
right clicking obsession, cause 'oh god', it can't be true... Comatose?
In the hospital... 'where's... my kids...?
The mental glue just barely holds. The mouse on... shut down. 'click
click click click', you try the manual button. Same lines over an over.
'feed me me me me me. feed me me me me Poetry!' To quiver. As you gape,
at the dull glowing screen. With dancing ripples, that waver... through
shivers...
you wake up?
Your drool is sliding that itch down your forearm, your teeth are
sweating fur. Pains of lifting your head away from seeming, oblivion.
Heart skip a beat, its the room. It holds the same, dull glow. Your
about to scream.
Oh God, not again! That song, "you - are - the - champion ----You - are -
the - champion - of - that - world... over an over.
Shaking you, just as it had started...? Crowning you Queen... where's
Freddy --- wasn't he drivin a Mercury. Down some road, cruising up...? "Mom, Mom... jeeez mom', comes the familiarity soaking in. you look up
to weird eyes. Kid home from their friends house? "Sleepin at the
computer again, huh! Well I'm off to bed".... love you," fades into
jogged footsteps up the stars. "Love you"! Oh god thank you and look
into your poem, There awaiting. A period. 'whew'! Playlist, still on
your head phones?
Now that's a nightmare. But you just couldn't bare to spoil it. Punch
in one comma and stagger off to real oblivious and throw yourself. On
your bed.An snore into the deep dark. Biting Northern Ontario hell! Right, out
side.. That window. Thank god for Central Heating! 'Go ahead howl', your final thought...
Yep, I found just one.. Northern Neighbor. An I ain't bein critical,
no siree an actually figure cool. Gal pull er off... nightmare an all!
While your stanza's alone carry the rhythm, well till that there
gargantuan pause. An roll right on with your craftin wordage an no period's period an periodical rhyme. Well we all realize not
necessarily necessary to the creative particulars. An I ain't bein
facetious, no siree. Neighborliness is the ticket...
Friendly like.
Actually ya now I gotts a hillbilly friend up yonder hill an Dale
Beverly... snow bound them is up their eye balls inna white sutff they is! Them be's the one. yep yep. Her clan be: The Beverly Hillbillies! They be black an white, TV
lovers... hills that is, Movie Stars!!!
Well I'm yanking your chain an surfing as I've been on site since May
1st and recall am seeking Poetic friendship. I enjoy your work, and the
prolific profile well. I bang the boards, like that. Though I've never
fell asleep on mine. Sleepy head. Yep, as stated. You can write. I
figured since I'm from Northern BC, you might visit my newness. As I
did read that profile. Believe that you would like my peace (pun)
'Alive in the Stream'. Seek me out I'd like that. Post me first as I
like the Hillbillly I am and not totally Internet Literate. Haven't
figure out how.
Look at The Writers List, I be there... reviews too!. Recommend my butt. If'n you
like the find.
Bet a warm friendly great Northern Gal like you has plenty of them kind.
Friends.
I too, have a light an well shade to black side... ...Ro...
add humor some to it.
Well, back to work and it looks like the kids'll be out in the snow. Yes, today... Hmm, I'll get that cubist Sci Fri deal a poppin!...
Vivian, couldn't understand where she was or just what all this had translated to, It beat the nightmare of the night before. This landscape , she could deal with...
Just what the Hell.... 'Oh Man , lunch, Denise the dentist, Billy has exams.... God, the married Writer life'? Crap... "see ya Puter..." ^^^ Save^^^ ! What the Hell *(&*&*&^&*^&*^*&&(*) ***phzzz**** 'Pop'. GONE-DEE... GOD DAMN MICRO SOFT. 'What ah nightmare!'IT"S ALL GONE... "Mom, whens lunch ready", whine an snivel. "I'm starved", tap tap tap, "MOM"! Life sucks, you have monsters for kids. Then ya die, waste years ah Collage. Gotta love it... that's, the bottom Line... breath share your Air! ******************************************************************************************************************************
In acknowledgement in fine Art of Poetry
Couldn't help myself. The humor, I hope Northern Gal found!
Hey, out here! Decorate your poem, and mail me.
I'll come an review both your poem, and your Art Efforts.
Cool additions, to: WritersCafe... Entertainment.
So... Write on Right on!
Oh Heroes ah the Word... Peace ...Ro...
God damn...this was as cool as cool comes, with the images and the fantastic writing to back it up. If I were having a "most creative and Oh s**t this was awesome contest" you would win with this hands down. Don't hold back...no not you, let it spill, who cares if it even makes any sense. I found myself glued to every word. Alright, enough...good night.
Wow. this was great lol. I love the style and how you gave it so many images to aid the images already in the writings. I especially love the one of the Maid lol...don't tell my wife.
Reminds me of some of the dreams I have had. The added photos just put it altogether and gave it a feel. As I read this I could visualize the whole thing, and that is what makes it a good read. As I said in a review a few minutes ago, anything that can transport me away from the stressful days of this world is a worthwhile read. Nice work.
God damn...this was as cool as cool comes, with the images and the fantastic writing to back it up. If I were having a "most creative and Oh s**t this was awesome contest" you would win with this hands down. Don't hold back...no not you, let it spill, who cares if it even makes any sense. I found myself glued to every word. Alright, enough...good night.
Haha, I liked this part:
"Your processor. Growin teeth and chasing you through the house, chanting... undulating vibrato's, "coma coma coma coma coma comma comma coma... karma chameleon. We come an go!" 'Jesus save me!' Your back, at the monitor again. Line after line, is just zipping by. Over an over the mouse can't be caught, an has grown fur an a tail...
Finally, the mad right clicking obsession, cause 'oh god', it can't be true... Comatose? In the hospital... 'where's... my kids...?"
Rory, lol, this is EXCELLENT my friend! Similar to "Night Terror" lol
A little bad dreaming is good for the soul! Keeps it alert and definitely interested in waning life!
An awesome spiral of surrealism at its best - a glimpse into the future - a dash of salt thrown over the past
A glow of after thought, deja vu
A twist of normal life thrown at the feet of beasts in nocturnal noise and nostalgia!
LMAO
This my talented friend, hits several spots!
haha. wow!! this was cooltastic. makes me think of old films and music....nitty gritty dirt band, heck yea. mr.bojangles. mhm. eat some skittles and drink fruity drinks. dreams like this, yea i know it. (:
but i never figured out how to put pics on em'..?
I like this a lot. Many memories from my youth were in your words. I like words and they give me the will and energy to go forward. I heard the so-call leaders who look as flat as a pan cakes in mind of poetry and history. I heard a Obama speech. He didn't know basic history. Hire someone with skills to show the world us in the USA have some intelligent. Your words always take me on a good journey.
Coyote
It's all about the music really. I'm a Writer / Musician. Write On / Right On!
Peace... Romon in Review
Out Post & Creative Standard Productions.
Romonx Associated Artists
Rory CJ Frankson
.. more..