Flying Away...

Love's in the air...

The first time when I saw you,

my life was black and white...
When you smiled at me for the first time,
I knew everything's gonna be alright...

 

You came in like a breeze,

blowing my heart apart.
Like the first drop of the rain,

you gave my life a brand new start.
Your smile's my only hope,

the only thing I have in life.
Wish to be with you forever,
I wanna love you all my life...

 

My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...
Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd...
Your love is all over my mind,

and I'm in heaven on a cloud...

 

Your smile is my sunshine,

your hair is dark as night...

I'm falling for you every time,

and it seems to be so right...

 

Your love is everything,

that's keeping me alive...
I wanna feel you by my side,

wanna be with you all my life...
Every time I see you smile,

it makes my heart fly so high...
I'll die for you baby,
Would never ever let you cry...
Yeah, would never let you cry...

 
My heart is flying away,

following you everywhere...

I'm going crazy for you,

don't know it's night or the day...

And I know I'm trying so hard,

you are my life's missing part,

I'm sure that someday you'll see,

and we will never be apart...

 

Author's Note

Kindly provide your views..

Reviews

[icomeanon_13]

This is a very sweet poem which highlights the initial emotions of new love. As Pushkar said in the review below, it is innocent. I would go so far as to say a little naive. The poem is reminiscent of a dozen red roses: beautiful and thoughtful but also a little predictable.

From a technical standpoint, watch out for tense confusion. The first stanza is a good example of going from past tense to present in a jarring manner:
"When you smiled at me for the first time, (past tense)
I knew everything's gonna be alright." (present tense)

"Yeah, my heart is beating so loud,
I can hear it loud in the crowd..." this feels a little awkward. Too many rhyming words in these two lines. Consider revision.

"You are all over on my mind" This is also an awkward line. "all over" would not be used to describe how often you think of somone. Consider revision.

On the whole, it is a fun poem. I think what I'd like to see is a series as the relationship progresses. Because the truth is love is painful and it's a full time job. We're going to cry, be hurt, and hopefully forgive. The evolution of a first crush to the last fight would be something I'd like to see on paper.

[Sanjh]

Thank you for reading and providing so many helpful inputs. I'll try my best to improve it and other writings...

Thank you so much...:)

[icomeanon_13]

Keep writing! You're well on your way.

[rae]

Very sweet, flows well. Good job.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Jen]

Another sweet poem on Love, but i don't think it seems to promote the "Kiss Of Love campaign" Lol...
Great parallel with rhyming words. excellent work. Thanks for sharing this.

[Sanjh]

hahaha, yes this one is not promoting any campaign but Love.
I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Lyndy]

Wow, I love this poem. It rhymes and the poet manages to portray his feelings very well. A job well done!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Lyndy, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Nikki]

Nice lyrics. Sweet stuff here :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Nikki...:)

[Surya pradha]

another emotional poem which reached my heart! keep going sanjh!

[Sanjh]

Thank you again brother. I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

This poem reads as a song, with the repetition of some sentences it reads very fluently and sings. It's sings of happiness and love. Well done.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Rudi, I wrote it as a song only. Thank you for appreciating...:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

My pleasure, Sanjh. Have a good day :)

Rudi

[Sanjh]

You too have a great day...:)

[Linda alexander]

Nice and beautiful, great flow , liked it a lot

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Linda alexander]

You welcome

[Pushkar Prabhat]

sweet.......adorable......romantic!!!
but the most important thing was: innocence!
i loved it!
:)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Sir...:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome.........:) :)

[Shitsune Hyuuga]

Wow this is amazing, with the perfect music this will be one good love song. That girl whom you dedicate this to is so lucky. I can feel the love, really great work.

[Sanjh]

I agree, the music is almost ready. But the girl for whome I wrote this song don't know about it...Lol...:) :p

Anyways, thanks for appreciating...:)

[Shitsune Hyuuga]

Maybe when the song is 100% ready you could let her hear it ;) she'll surely fall for you.

[Sanjh]

hahaha, sure, I'll let her hear but she won't fall for me...too late you know...:)

[Shitsune Hyuuga]

Aww...that's unfortunate, but maybe the right girl is just around waiting to hear your songs. :)

[Sanjh]

yeah, who knows what's next in life..let's hope that I'll find someone to to whome I'll dedicate this song...:)