Chapter Nine Unbearable Pain versus Undeniable Joy

Chapter Nine

Unbearable Pain versus Undeniable Joy

 

Kat

 

Kat stood with Chris, Cassie, and Michael as they wheeled Mark and Aly in on gurneys. It was horrible to see your two best friends that way. To not even know if one of them would make it out of here alive. She was terrified of what she would see if they wheeled him to the morgue. She didn’t even want to think that it was even a possibility, much less a probability.

As they were wheeling Mark past her, he reached out and grabbed her arm. She was shocked by how weak he was. “Kat,” he whispered.

She leaned closer as the medics stopped where they were to allow Mark and Kat a minute to talk.

“Kat, tell Aly…” He trailed off as a spasm of pain wracked his body.

Kat watched him helplessly. If there had been anything she could have done, she would have been doing it.

“Tell Aly what?” she asked.

“Tell her she’ll make a great alpha, and that I…” The medics started to wheel him away from her.

“Wait!” she called after them.

One of the medics looked at her over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, miss, we have to get him to a doctor.”

Kat stood there, watching them go, wondering what it was she was supposed to tell Aly.

 

 

Aly

 

I was trapped in a hospital bed, not allowed to move, and wanting nothing more than to be rid of this unbearable pain. I’d been told just after arriving that Mark had been pronounced DOA. What had they done to him? What had they given him when they’d captured him that had killed him, destroyed everything I could have had.

I wanted so badly to be with him, no matter what it cost. The pain of losing him was too unbearable.

“Aly?” Chris asked, peering around the door. “Your parents want to see you, if that’s ok?”

I frowned. My parents? They were here?

“They’re here?” I asked dully. I wished I could sound more enthusiastic about my parents presence in the hospital, but it was difficult to try to be happy when I was hurting so badly.

He nodded.

“Sure. Of course I want to see them.” There was a bit more enthusiasm in my voice now. At least my parents were safe. “What about Mark’s parents?” I asked quickly. I didn’t think I could bear to know that I had broken my final promise to him. Failed to rescue his parents.

“They’re fine, too. They want to talk to you once you’ve seen your parents.”

I nodded. I didn’t know what they could possibly want to talk to me about. Did they blame me for what had happened to Mark?

Chris left the room and seconds later the door opened again and my parents came in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” my mom said, walking toward the bed.

“Hi,” I tried to smile.

My dad came up behind my mom and wrapped his arm around her waist. I cringed. The memory of the time I’d spent in Mark’s arms came flooding back. “Hello, honey.” He smiled at me.

“Hey, dad,” I answered halfheartedly, trying not to let their love bother me. Why should it? They were happy. I was happy to see them here, alive and happy. So why was I so sad? Why couldn’t I just be happy to see them and let the sadness evaporate for a while? I knew, of course, that letting the sadness evaporate would mean letting go of my memories. I didn’t want that as much as I had thought. For just one moment I had allowed myself to think that things might be better that way, less painful. I wanted the pain to ease, but I didn’t want to lose everything I had left of Mark, all of my memories were too special to lose. Even the memories of the time we had spent hating each other.

“Are you ok?” mom asked me in concern.

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I’m fine, I just miss Mark.”

She frowned. “I thought you didn’t like him?”

“Yeah, well, being forced to work with someone can change that,” I said quietly. I didn’t want to mention that I’d fallen for the one I’d sworn to hate. I didn’t want to talk about him, or even think about him too much. But I definitely didn’t want to talk to my mom about him, she would never understand. Today was like a war. Unbearable pain versus undeniable joy, and the pain was definitely winning.

She frowned at me, it was obvious she knew I was keeping something from her. “What’s really bothering you?” she asked.

I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell anyone this, especially not her. She would never understand. She hated the idea of me being a wolf, what would she think if I fell in love with a wolf? She would never forgive me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain of her anger on top of everything I already had to deal with. It would be far too much. Far more than I could bear. I would never survive that.

“You can tell me, Aly,” she insisted.

“Let her rest,” my dad insisted. “She’s been through a lot.” He winked at me and I was sure he’d figured it out. He knew I’d fallen for Mark. He was trying to give me some time to myself before I had to face Mark’s parents.

Mom frowned. “I just want to make sure she’s ok.”

“And she said she’s fine, she just lost someone she cared for, as a friend. Give her some time.”

I smiled gratefully at my dad.

My parents turned to leave.

“I’ll tell the Night’s to wait a few minutes before they come in,” dad said over his shoulder as he pulled the door closed.

“Thanks,” I answered.

I lay there, trying to collect myself before I spoke to Mark’s parents. The silent tears fell from my eyes, leaving small, damp splotches on the sheet.

Five minutes later the door opened again and a couple I didn’t recognize entered slowly. The woman smiled softly at me. “We’d like to thank you for everything you did for our son. Your friends explained everything to us.” She surprised me by hugging me. I didn’t move for a second, but then I hugged her back. She had just lost her son because of my stupidity, yet she seemed willing to forgive me. It didn’t make any sense to me. How could she be so quick to like the one that caused her sons death? 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “It’s my fault he’s…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the last word. “I left on my own and he came after me. He knew I’d never make it. He wanted to help me. To protect me.” The tears welled in my eyes again at the memory of how kind he’d been, even when he’d hated me.

“Kat told us he blamed you for our capture?” Mr. Night asked.

“At first, yeah, he did. He didn’t really mean any of it, though. He was afraid you’d been killed, and all the trouble started just after I got here, it made sense for him to feel that way. I don’t blame him at all.”

“No,” Mrs. Night agreed, smiling kindly at me. “You blame yourself, don’t you?”

It was like she could see right through all the protective barriers I’d put up around myself. Even my own mother had never penetrated those barriers. Mark had always been able to see through me. To know what I was thinking but wouldn’t say. I did blame myself, how could I not? But I would never have let anyone know that.

“Yes,” I answered honestly. It was easy to tell her the truth. Easier than it would have been even to tell my own mother. “If I hadn’t let words said in fright upset me so much, I would never have left and he wouldn’t have come after me. He would still be safe.” Tears were streaming down my cheeks by the end.

She pulled me into another tight hug. “It wasn’t your fault, not at all. If it weren’t for you, we’d still be locked up. Or we would have been killed.”

Mr. Night nodded. He didn’t talk much, apparently.

“I’m sorry, I was stupid,” I said. I knew it was true. How could they not see that?

“Yes, you put your own life in danger over something absurd, that was stupid. But it isn’t your fault any of this happened.”

“They lied to you, you know,” Mr. Night said unexpectedly.

“Huh?” I asked in confusion.

“Mark wasn’t dead on arrival, he died just moments after they’d got him to a room. This room, actually. We requested that they put you both in the same room.”

I stared at them in shock. They had really done that? Why?

“He asked to see you once more before he died,” Mrs. Night said.

“His last words to us were ‘look after her, please. She’s next in line for alpha. The pack needs her.’ Then, he died,” Mr. Night told me.

I wished I could have known what Mark was thinking in his last seconds. Had he cared for me the same way I cared for him? No. Of course not. What a stupid thought. How could he ever love me that way? I didn’t even try to stop the tears flowing from my eyes. What was the point? Why should I hide my grief, even if I never told anyone how much it truly hurt, or how much I truly cared for Mark. Somehow, a part of me was sure he wasn’t dead. I decided it was just wishful thinking. He was dead. The doctors had said it. So why did it feel like he was still here? That didn’t make any sense.

I leaned back against the pillows and closed my eyes. All I wanted now was to go to sleep and never wake up. I never wanted to face this kind of pain again. But Mark was right, I was the next in line for alpha, I needed to let myself be ok again. But could I? Could I really get over this? Or would it just get easier to bear over time? I sincerely hoped it was the latter. I never wanted to ‘get over’ my feelings for him. Nor did I want to forget them. One day I would be alpha. I would do everything to the best of my ability and try to make him proud of me.

“We’ll let you rest now,” Mrs. Night said, leaning in to kiss my forehead.

“Sleep well,” Mr. Night said. He hesitated a moment before he kissed my forehead as well.

“Thank you.” I smiled genuinely at them both through the tears. They were such nice, likable people. It was weird how much easier they were to talk to, to like, than my own parents were sometimes. I shook my head to clear the negative thoughts and regretted it. My head was pounding. It felt like every heartbeat was reverberating through my skull.

They quietly left the room and I gratefully let the blackness overcome me again.

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

When I woke, hours later, it was with a strange feeling of pleasure. I couldn’t understand how I could feel so happy when my heart was breaking. Then I realized it wasn’t breaking, or broken. It was like it had healed in the time I had been asleep. How could that be? Unless… could he really still be alive? I wanted to believe it, but I didn’t dare. I put the thought out of my mind instantly and reached for the book on the nightstand. My mom had promised to bring me my favorite book, Dracula, to read as long as I was stuck here. There wasn’t even anything wrong with me, why did I have to stay?

Oh well, I thought. I grabbed the book and relaxed to read.

It felt like only minutes later, though it must have been at least two hours, judging by how far into the book I was, that the door opened and a motherly nurse came into the room bearing a tray with my dinner.

“How are you feeling, dear?” she asked kindly.

“Fine,” I shrugged. “Not really hungry.”

She smiled. “Now, I know hospital food isn’t the best, not even close, but you do have to eat.”

I shrugged. “I really just don’t feel like it right now, but thank you,” I insisted.

She set the tray on the nightstand. “I’ll just leave it here, in case you change your mind,” she said. I couldn’t help but like her, she was sweet, and she didn’t try to make me talk about anything. I didn’t want to talk, I only wanted to go about my life as normally as possible. For my family, and for my friends, but most importantly, for Mark. I knew that he wouldn’t want me to only ever fell sad that he’d been killed, he’d want me to be happy again. To continue on and become alpha someday. I wanted that more than ever now, because he’d told me shortly before he died that he wanted it for me. He honestly thought I’d make a good alpha. The first person to actually say those words to me. I smiled at the memory. No. I could never forget him, but his memory wouldn’t always be this painful either.

I lay back and continued to read.

 

 

Kat

 

It was hard for Kat to watch Aly now, hard for her to see the pain in her friend’s eyes. She didn’t know what had gone on while they were being held captive, but whatever it was, Aly was obviously torn up after Mark’s death.

Kat wondered again at Mark’s last words to her. “Tell her she’ll make a great alpha, and that I…” That he what? She was sure she’d seen something in his eyes shortly before they got the news that Mark and Aly’s parents had been captured. She was almost sure Mark was falling in love with Aly. Is that what he wanted me to tell her? She wondered. No, he’d want to tell her that himself. Unless he knew he was dying, then he might ask someone to tell her for him. What do I do? Do I just tell her he thinks she’ll make a good alpha and leave it at that? This was all so confusing.

Chris came up behind her, “You ok?” he asked.

Kat shrugged, “I guess so. I dunno, it’s hard to see her so upset.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’m sorry you have to see this.”

“Chris,” she said suddenly. “What should I tell her, about what Mark said?”

Chris frowned. “I don’t know. That’s one you’ll have to figure out for yourself, Kat.

Her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what to say. Should I tell her everything he said, or just that he thinks she’ll make a great alpha?”

“Tell her everything,” Michael said quietly from behind her. “She’ll want to know.”

Kat nodded. “What do I tell her when she asks for the end of the sentence?”

“Tell her he didn’t finish what he was saying. The truth.”

“Ok, thanks, Michael.”

He nodded and turned to go, his magnificent wings folded carefully behind his back. She found herself wondering why nobody questioned him about them. Why he had never been captured.

Kat turned and wrapped her arms around Chris, burying her face in his chest and crying. She didn’t want to have to face Aly at all. To have to tell her what had been said.

 

 

Mark

 

Mark woke up in a small, closed in space on a cold, metal surface. Where was he? What had happened? He struggled to remember. It all came back in a rush. He had gone after Aly. She had run off because of him. He’d chased her away… No. She’d chosen to go because… He’d been angry with her. He’d said it wouldn’t hurt his feelings any if she were killed. He’d been an idiot. They had been captured. He’d been injected with Solanine. That was the cause of this. He’d come so close to dying. He must be in the hospital morgue. A wonderfully creepy place to be. He thought sarcastically.

 He lay there, trying to get up enough strength to leave. He was trapped in the hospital morgue, shockingly weak. First, he had to get his strength up, after that… Try and contact his parents? Sadly, that had to take priority over what he really wanted. To see Aly. Had they told her he was dead? Of course they had. This was just too much. He’d really thought he was dying. He should have died. The toxin should have killed him. It had been a bit more than the lethal dose. Why hadn’t he died? Had the werewolf genes been enough to counteract that amount of toxin, or had something else figured into it?

He struggled with the cold metal door. It wouldn’t open from the inside. Why would it? He didn’t imagine they had too many dead people trying to get out of the drawers. How was he going to get out of here? He heard footsteps enter the room outside of the drawer he was locked in. He started to bang on the door. Maybe, if he could make enough noise, whoever was out there would hear him and open the door. “Hello?” he called. He wasn’t sure if they could hear him through the door, but it was worth a try. “Let me out of here!”

He got no response and was almost positive nobody had heard him. “Hello?” he called again. Still nothing.

Moments later he heard the grating of metal on metal as the knob to the drawer turned. He closed his eyes against the blinding light that filtered through the now open door.

He felt the metal slab under him move. Perfect, someone was going to perform an autopsy on him. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of getting cut open.

He opened his eyes slowly. An older man with graying hair and steel blue eyes looked back at him. “So, you’re not dead?” the man asked curiously. “I didn’t think so.”

Mark stared at him in confusion. “You… what?”

“I didn’t think you were dead,” the man smirked at him. “Solanine, huh? Who gave that to you?”

“Someone who wants me dead?” Mark shrugged. He really had no idea who it was that had grabbed him. He hadn’t had the chance to really see the faces of any of his attackers.

The man chuckled. “Well, I didn’t really think it was someone who wanted you alive. I don’t imagine it was that girl who came in with you.”

“Aly? No, of course not! She would never do that.” He sat up quickly, his head spinning, as he started to panic. The girl who had come in with him? Did that mean something had happened to her? Was she dead? He wasn’t sure how much of his panic showed on his face, but it must have been enough to concern the man standing over him.

“She’s fine,” he assured Mark, as though he could read his thoughts.

Mark sighed in relief. “Does she know I’m ‘dead’?” he asked, smiling wryly at the word dead.

“Yes, she was told as soon she woke up today. You’ll have to clear that up yourself.”

“Why didn’t I die from the solanine? It should have killed me.”

“It seems Phoenix tears will work on solanine as well.”

“Phoenix tears? Where did you get those?” Mark was pretty sure Phoenix tears were not something every doctor kept on hand.

“Your friend, Cassie, gave them to me upon your arrival. She hoped that they might help. Evidently, they did.”

Mark smiled. Leave it to Cassie to think of that. She was forever trying to help anyone she could. She was sweet, but naive.

“Of course she did,” he said. He frowned. “I should hurry and clear things up with Aly…”

The man smiled kindly at him. “That might be advisable,” he agreed. “I would also suggest speaking to your parents, they’re under the same impression. No surprise, as they’re the last ones you spoke to before ‘dying’.”

Of course, he’d have to talk to his parents first. Aly would have to wait. Not long, though. No. He wouldn’t make her wait long. He wouldn’t make her wait at all, if he could help it.

“Thanks,” he called over his shoulder as he raced out of the room.

 

 

♠♠♠

 

 

He raced through the hospital, looking for his parents. They were probably staying near Aly’s room. He moved swiftly in that direction but was waylaid by a nurse.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she demanded.

“To find my girlfriend,” he answered. Girlfriend? Why had he just said that?

The nurse shook her head. “I’m sorry, visiting hours are over.”

“You don’t understand,” he protested. “She was misinformed. They told her I was dead Obviously I’m not. I have to see her. I have to explain.”

“I’m sorry, not until tomorrow,” the nurse argued. “If she’s allowed visitors, if not, you’ll not be allowed to see her at all.”

Mark glared at her but turned and walked toward the doors. He’d have to deal with his parents first, after all. He’d sneak back in later and go to see Aly. He couldn’t imagine the doctor objecting if it would help her. The question now was, would it help her, or would it only make it worse? Oh well, he supposed he would have to go to her and hope for the best.

He ran into Michael just before he made it to the door.

“Hey, nice to se you’re alive,” Michael grinned. He didn’t seem surprised in the least that Mark was alive.

“Hey,” Mark greeted his friend. “How’s Aly?”

“She’s ok, pretty upset about what happened. She’s sure it’s al her fault. Your parents seemed to like her, though. She was feeling a little better after she talked to them.”

“Good,” Mark smiled.

“Your parents and hers seemed to get along ok, too.”

Mark smiled in relief. He’d been worried his parents wouldn’t like Aly or her family.

The lights were off when he reached his parents house. It was still too early for them to have gone to bed, had something happened? His heart sank at the thought. He tried the door, but it was locked. His keys no longer worked in the lock. They must have switched it since they’d gotten back. At least they were sensible. He rang the bell and waited, hoping someone would open it.

Moments later his younger sister, Chey, opened the door.

“Mark!” she shouted, throwing herself into his arms.

“Hey, Chey,” he smiled, hugging her back.

She turned and headed back into the house, dragging him along behind her. “Mom! Dad!” she called.

They came running down the stairs.

“What is it, Cheyenne? Are you alright?” their mother asked frantically. She never had been willing to use the nickname Chey. She stopped when she saw Mark. “How…?” she asked in surprise.

“That’s not important,” he answered, pulling her into a tight hug. “I love you, mom,” he murmured. He couldn’t have been happier to see his family again.

“Have you spoken with Aly?” his dad asked.

“No, I came here first. They wouldn’t let me in to see Aly. Not until tomorrow.”

“What a shame,” his mother sighed. “At least you’ll have a good nights sleep before you have to deal with her.”

“What do you mean ‘deal with her’? Is something wrong with her?” He was really worried now.

His mother rolled her eyes. “Please,” she said. “She’s a selfish girl. She didn’t want to feel like it was her fault, so she left. She’s the reason you almost died.”

Mark frowned at his mother. “She is not the reason I almost died. I came to try and help you. She had nothing to do with that. Michael was under the impression you liked Aly and her family, whatever happened to that?

“I can’t stand them. They think they’re so much better than us because their family used to rule,” his mother answered. “I had to pretend to like her.”

He glared at his mother, suddenly wishing he had never come back here. This wasn’t the mother he knew. “Dad?” he asked. “What did you think of them?”

He shrugged. “They were fine, I don’t have a problem with them.”

Mark was relieved to hear that. He’d hoped that both of his parents would like Aly, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. He wondered if the real problem for his mother wasn’t that she thought she was better than them because her husband was ruling alpha. It wouldn’t surprise him in the least.

“I’m going to bed,” he announced.

“You won’t be seeing that girl tomorrow,” his mother ordered. “If you see her again, she’ll die.”

Mark stared at his mother in shock. How could she be so cruel? She didn’t even care about Aly, only about her own role as the alphas wife.

“I have to at least tell her I’m still alive,” he objected.

“He’s right, she deserves at least that much,” his father agreed.

“Fine. That’s it though. You’ll let her know you’re still alive and then come straight home. Understand?”

He nodded stiffly and walked upstairs.