*YOU*

You are like diamonds of golden light,

Always shining so bright.

You are fresh breath of a new life,

In a world so tight.

You are sweet everlasting love

one can hope to find,

In days where love means no

more than blind selfishness of life,

You are the peaceful mountain

where my body lay down at peace

together with the happiness of my mind.

 

Reviews

[SZHZIA]

Another lovely poem with great imagination of beloved for the lover. I love the metaphors that you have used in the poem and also the rhymes. Every line is touching to a reader's heart. a beautiful love poem in short and few words. I enjoy it. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.

Best
szhzia

[Silmara McGarry]

Much appreciated truly! Thanks a million, Zia ;-)
Take care.
:-)
Sil

[SZHZIA]

It is my pleasure and you are welcome as always. ;-) zia

[Anna Moore]

I love the way you capture emotion in your words. I feel so moved when I read your work, it's quite remarkable. Thank You.

[Silmara McGarry]

You are so kind, Anna! Many thanks for appreciating my work and for your wonderful review!

[Anna Moore]

You're welcome. If you might have the time to review some of my writing then please feel free to do so :)

[Silmara McGarry]

I already did :-) And really enjoy it!!!

[LylaCrystal]

Oh God, another brilliant poem. :)

[Silmara McGarry]

So kind of you, Lyla :-) Many thanks indeed!

[barleygirl]

This is a nice statement describing many lovely details about why another person is special. Your writing is well done and your ideas are interesting. My only drawback is that some of the phrases you use are ones that are used a lot in poetry: "diamonds in the light" . . . "breath of new life" . . . "everlasting love" . . . "peaceful mountain" . . . and again "lay down at peace" -- using the same word (peaceful/peace) over again, try to find a different way to say it.

I encourage you to dig deep and find new ways to say these same old things that are said over & over in millions of love poems. SHOW me the details of why this other person means so much to you. One aspect of diamonds that makes them so special is the way the light reflects into a prism of colors . . . otherwise it would just be a piece of cut glass. Take advantage of such vivid details to convey how a diamond is special in the same way the beloved is special. Instead of a peaceful mountain, dig deep and find new words everybody is not in the habit of using . . . like tranquil mountain or mesmerizing mountain . . . this is how to write a love poem that stands out with originality, instead of being same-ole-same-old.

Sorry for the tough love, but your writing is too good to settle for mundane descriptions.

[Silmara McGarry]

It was one of my first poems. I wrote it in less then 10 min., it come out of nowhere, I just wanted to be short and simple.
I understand, miss Barley! Thank you so much for reading.. and to take your time to give such thoughtful review. I like your sincerity.

All the very best..
See you.... Sil ;-)

[Adam Adams]

and this called... true love where only the real peace of heart, & the balanced state of mindfulness be together found... at peek of light. very deep & artistic poetry you've come up with. nice imagery here.

[Silmara McGarry]

Thanks indeed for reading and your kind lovely review! I really appreciated :-)

All the very best...See you,

Sil :-)

[TheLostMind]

Indeed in this materialistic world, it is really difficult to find true love. But if one finds it, then its the best thing that he / she could have. It will give him/ her strength and hope. It will give him / her a reason to smile.

This is another simple yet elegant poem. Goo job :)

[Inject Positivity]

A heart which has the love that doesn't fear any other force of this world, and which gives his/her beloved a place to feel secure... When someone has this much love in his/her heart, nothing can cause harm to that person... It is a very joyful write of love... Passionate and magnificent...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Silmara McGarry]

Perfect words Dhiman. Beautiful are all hearts that does not fear the force of love.Thanks a million! God be with you,
Sil