Prologue

Prologue

A Chapter by Hunter C. Brown

The day was hot, very hot.  Sweat poured down my face as I trudged through the endless sand of Egypt.  The unbearable thirst I was experiencing was a result of a full day under Egypt's sun.  Since I was low on water, I allowed the the feeling to go unquenched.  I knew that if I didn't find civilization today I would die out here in the middle of this over sized sand-trap.  Suddenly, I heard the dull thudding of hooves sinking into the sand.  Before I could even turn around I was forced onto my hands and knees by a searing pain in my right shoulder.  Looming over me was an Egyptian soldier mounted on a horse with a set of reins in one hand, a bow in the other.  Buried into my right shoulder was an arrow with a wooden shaft and red feathers on it.  The soldier began speaking in what was obviously Egyptian, I didn't know how to speak Egyptian.  A wave of nausea gripped me because of the intensity of the pain.  I took one final look at the soldier before I passed into the gaping black void that beckoned me from the inside of my own mind.
That was the last thing I remembered before waking up in the cell.  I felt as if this time I'd gone to far, pushed my luck just over the limit. So now, I was stuck here.  Possibly forever.  As I went to sleep on the floor of the  cell I found myself hoping that this time I wouldn't wake up.  


© 2011 Hunter C. Brown


Author's Note

Hunter C. Brown
i want to know what u guys think. ps i know my chapters are short, but what does it matter in a good story

My Review

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Reviews

I'm not a huge fan of first person point of view, but I liked your start. It was a good mix of decriptions of the landscape and what the person was going through. You may have planned to address more of what was going on later, but some questions that I have as a result:
Why is the person there?
How is he or she familiar with the markings of an Egyptian soldier?
Why did the soldier shoot without warning?
Did the wound get tended to in the period of unconsciousness?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice entrance for your chapter! Love it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


I thought I already reviewed this chapter but I shall review again. Very interesting and I am excited to see what comes next. This is a very good start to your book! Keep on writing so I can keep on reading!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow great Description in this story. I thought i was their. it was amazing you have a shot in winning good job.. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Descriptive.... almost made me felt the heat. I liked it very much. I know how hot Egypt can be, I have been to Luxor and it was boiling! Anyways, a very good story. Well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 6, 2011
Last Updated on July 15, 2011
Tags: Egypt, story, sand, dunes ancient


Author

Hunter C. Brown
Hunter C. Brown

Reno, NV



About
I love writing of course, thats y i'm here isn't it? I just love it. Maybe one day i'll be published, maybe i wont. As long as i have a good time getting there who cares!!!!! Though i really would l.. more..

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