Chapter 3

Chapter 3 in "Forbidden Love"

As I sat on Marik’s porch I grew bored quite fast. So to ease my boredom I did the only thing that came to mind. As people walked by I categorized them into groups by their blood types.

2-AB positive

4-A negative

1-O negative

Bad move. As I kept track I grew hungrier and hungrier. I could feel my fangs lightly poke out of my gums. I covered my mouth and kept my head down. I didn’t need anyone noticing my pupils turning into slits and my eyes going red. Damn it Marik hurry up! I pulled my sunglasses out of my purse and placed them over my eyes. The wind pushed my hair sideways bringing a familiar scent towards me. I leaped up and pressed a body against the front door.

“Oooh someone’s a little on edge.” I smiled and let Marik go.

“Where have you been?” I growled.

“Is someone a little hungry?” he teased. I pushed him and we walked inside together. He poured a blood bag of O- and handed it to me. I chugged that down quickly and he gave me seconds this time with a little bit of alcohol. This was usual routine we would spike our drinks go out and “party” and see the results on the morning news. But before I could take a drink Marik knocked the glass to the floor where it shattered into a million pieces and wrapped an arm around my neck and covered my mouth. I could’ve taken him but I knew the only reason he would do this was when something was wrong. We stood there for a moment frozen when finally he let me go.  I spun around and faced him.

“WHAT THE HELL MARIK?!!?” I screamed. But he didn’t answer he just sniffed the air so I did as well. The foul odor reached me. I plugged my nose immediately and almost gagged. I knew that stench all too well; it was the smell of a wolf.  Marik said what I was thinking,

“A bounty hunter was in my house.”

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After the incident at Marik’s house we were both extremely cautious. It only met one thing when a bounty hunter was in your house. Either you were being hunted or someone you knew was. Marik and I didn’t have many other vampire friends besides each other. Which meant one of us was being hunted. It was going to be difficult but I was going to have to switch from fresh blood to blood bags from the hospital.

When I got home I immediately showered and burned my clothes. No way was that awful wolf smell coming into my house. I spent an hour in the shower until I finally felt stench free then I sprayed my entire body in perfume and wore my short jean skirt and my favorite low cut black tank top. No way was a little bounty hunter scaring me away from MY night on the town. I would just have to go a little bit more out of my way to catch a meal. I walked out my stiletto boots clanking on the tile as I walked out into the night.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think! Ignore spelling and grammar errors. Any others please tell me.

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

Marik said was I thinking-marik said what iwas thinking ( but this may be worded funny. *shrugs*) I think u could have heightned the tension when marik grabbed her, mayube have him look around the house and find some things ut of place or something, or have them hear a noise...it's going a bit fast for me. Maybe try to elaborate on some parts.

[Fairytale]

"As I sat on Marik’s porch I grew bored quite fast." - This sentence is a bit awkward.

"I could feel my fangs lightly poke out of my gums." - Nice, descriptive sentence. I feel like I'm with the character, so to speak.

"I didn’t need anyone noticing my pupils turning into slits and my eyes going red." - Fantastic example of showing without telling. You've revealed something very interesting, almost a key factor, to us as the reader. (What happens to vampires when they think about feeding).

"It only met one thing when a bounty hunter was in your house. Either you were being hunted or someone you knew was." - This is telling and not showing. You could interweave this information in conversation or through the action.

"I walked out my stiletto boots clanking on the tile as I walked out into the night." - You used the words 'walked out' twice.

I am looking forward to finding out who the bounty hunter is.

[Gone]

Who cares about errors when you have such a wonderful story here? 100 for you!