To My Father

i wrote this after a fight with my father...

TO MY FATHER

You want my respect and love.

How can i give them to you, when you disregard what i have to say.

How can i give them to you when you disregard my feelings.

How can i give them to you when you dont listen to me or pay attention to what i am saying.

How can i give them to you when you treat me like i dont count.

I do love you.

But you make it very difficult at times.

You abandoned me emotionally as a child, into my adulthood and still do.

Emotions are the root of our being, and when those are shut down or off or even rejected, we are scarred.

Deep inside, where the outside world can not see them.

You have more feelings toward your family and son, than you do for me.

I offer my heart and soul to you, but all i get is rejection.

I dont want your darkness, your hatred, your pain.

I have my own struggles, my own darkness, my own demons to fight without adding yours.

When will i receive the love and respect that i deserve.

When will i...

I am not sure.

If i should die before you, will I finally get your love?

You have my love, for you are my father.

But when will you open your heart to me?

What will it take?

What will it take to get your respect and love.

Love, your daughter.

Author's Note

just expressing my pain...and i wonder why i dont have a someone special in my life...

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

I feel your pain and this piece. You want family to love you more than anything. When they do not it hurts twice as much. It is hard for me to review this poem because what it did was make me ache for a little girl who needs, wants and yearn for her Daddy's love. Prayer changes everything and that is what needs to be used here.

[Nely Amorim]

I feel every word of this poem, I am in much the same place with my own father. His lack of respect and true love for a daughter has colored every relationship i have ever had. It's true that you learn about men firstly from your father and you either go one way of the other. I truly hope for HIS sake that he finds you before it's too late, as I am finding it will be too late for me and mine. Kudos for putting this out here.

[Wildecat]

This is so sad, but I truly believe that there is someone for everyone. Thanks also for your comments on ( Mother Earth they and your friendship are very much appreciated.

[larryb]

Well done sweety and so many know that same pain you have so hang in there :)

[Bear]

Keep expressing your pain so you don't completely crumble. Know that you are the "special one" in your life and then perhaps other special ones will enter your life and become one with you?

Fathers and daughters... their relationships can be distant and over time the father does reach out for a hug which is a surprise but, oh so good to receive!! ;~)

Keep on sending notes to your father; it might bring him closer in time.
Sallie Bear

[Wicahpi]

I wish I had the right words to say. This is an emotional piece.
Sometimes, fathers just can't show emotion to daughters.
I have had strained periods of time with my own.
I used to ask why he loved conditionally. I did not have to look
far; for my grandfather (his father) was very emotionally detached.
They had a very rocky relationship; though close now.
Each becoming more aware the older they get.
And I wonder how the women in my family even manage any relationship.
Guess we dont, really. Relating to men if very hard. It takes someone very
strong, very secure to deal with us.....truth. I was a child of teenage parents;
so I think that maybe there are a lot of deep seeded regrets or resentments.
Wasn't my fault I was born. And yes, I've said it more then once to both.
Fathers don't realize the effect they have on their daughters.

[Paige Sperry]

Speachless...
This sounds exactly like the relationship between me and my father, far to similar and far to painful. Except in my case he hates his son more than me otherwise it was so pracise. All I can think to say is that you're not alone in this in anyway.

The poem is well writen and easy to read. My only sujestion is to capitalize your I's that always bugs me. Otherwise I thought it was quite well done.
Paige