Chapter seven; Silent Night

I was walking around aimlessly. Or, So it seemed. I talked to myself, Up towards the sky. Lightening shot off in the background. It was a very pretty sight. I thought it was anyways. A storm was rolling in faster than I could think.

“I don’t like him. I don’t like him at all.” I said, Sitting down and looking at my old stuffed bear. I loved that bear. Evil Bakura tore it to shreds and tossed it out the window. I remember the wind took most of it away. I couldn’t help but cry for days and days. He thought I didn’t need a teddy bear to keep me sane. That I was too old. Later he found out it was from my mother. I missed her so much. “He’s killing me and he has no idea!”

 

                “I understand. You don’t need to get worked up.” The bear responded. I blinked in confusion.

“No… You don’t… You don’t know what he’s done to me. How far he goes. All the pain… And-And torture.” I started to sob. I couldn’t help it. I coughed and looked back at my bear, Wanting to grab it and hold it to my chest. “Everyone’s left me. I have no one else besides for him. And I don’t want him! I loved him once, I really did. I put up with it for him… But now… Now I don’t know how much more I can take… He’s destroying me.”

“I see.” The bear mimicked a therapists tone of voice.

“I’m starting to become numb. Numb to the pain and fear. But every time I do, It comes back to remind me how real it actually is. I just wish I could die already. Go with my mother and sister.” I sobbed some more. Oh, How I wanted to die. More than anything in the entire world. “I miss them so much. No one else cares. No one else wants me. I don’t even want myself. Bakura’s right. I’m pathetic. But, I can’t come to kill myself… And he won’t do it for me.” Thunder clashed in the background again. So beautiful.

 

            “Who’s that?” the bear asked. I looked down at him with questions in my eyes. I turned my head to see a distant creature walking away from me.

“Hmmm…” I thought, Wiping tears away from my eyes. “I’m not sure.” I squinted to see if I could make out the figure. I shrugged.

“You need to wake up soon.” The bears voice distracted me, Pulled me away from what I was thinking.

“I know. But I don’t want to.” I argued.

“I know you don’t want to… But you have to. It’s going to do it on its own soon, Anyways.” I sighed to myself and looked down at my crossed legs.

“If you insist.”

“I do.” He replied to me. I nodded and stood up, Walking off into the distance.

 

            I finally woke up, Back in my own body again. I didn’t know if I wanted to stay or run. My head ached and I groaned. Outstanding pain surged through out my body. I looked around the dark room. I was still on the kitchen floor. I picked up my head as a sticky, Suction cup noise sounded in my ear. I groaned, Then coughed. Apparently I was sick and couldn’t make much noise. It hurt my throat to do so. I placed my hands on the ground and pushed myself up shakily. I grasped the counted and pulled myself up to the sink. I shivered at the sight. My hand slipped once. I caught myself before I hit the ground again. I looked at the time. Four forty four. Bakura would be getting up in a few hours.

 

            I stumbled to the stairs and crawled my way up. I grasped the bathroom door and kept myself up by the sink. I took off my shirt and dropped it on the floor.

“Too far. He went overboard again.” I said aloud. I looked over my aching body. Scars and bruises were drawn all over my naked chest. Dried blood clung on for dear life, Painting me like a dead animal. I had lost weight; My ribs were beginning to show, Pretty bad. I hadn’t eaten in a few days. I never noticed. New scratches and old open wounds smiled on my flesh as my heart ached. He’s danced that piece of metal across my skin too many times.

 

            I sighed and looked at my eyes. There was nothing there but fear and death anymore. There innocent child like façade was gone. It had left me many years ago. All because of my dark. I growled to myself as I stared at my reflection. I stopped when my face looked like his. I sighed and looked over myself again. Horrible. I then slid off my trousers and underwear and dropped them to the tiles below. I got in the shower and let the warm water caress my body.

 

            I sighed lightly and sat, Holding myself. I blinked and thought long and hard about everything as I watched red tinted water race towards the drain. I swallowed and tilted my head back, Leaning it against the wall. I closed my eyes, Thoughts still rushing through my head. Last night played over and over like a movie in my head, Giving me nightmares as it did. My eyes flew open and I looked up, Feeling his presence. Nothing. My heart raced and breath quickened as I stood up and shampooed my hair, Uncrusting it of old blood as I went. I scrunched my face in discontent. I’m surprised my pure white hair hadn’t been stained or tainted by now. I piled it all up on the top of my head, Off my shoulders and gently started washing my body. It always stung so bad. I winced. After fifteen minutes of pain, I rinsed myself from head to toe and then conditioned my hair as well.

 

            I stepped out, Wrapped myself in the warm towel and looked at myself in the mirror again.

‘It’s a bit better.’ I sighed. ‘At least I have no blood clinging on me for dear life.’ I looked at my eyes. They looked sullen and sunken in. It didn’t help that I hadn’t got much sleep lately, And the only time I really do is when I’m knocked unconscious. I yawned and rubbed my arms to keep warm. I shook my head and walked into my room and dug through my dresser, Picking out some clean pajamas and slid them on, Finally sliding into the warmth of my bed. It embraced me and held me tight. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

 

            It never happened. I stayed unwillingly awake all night. Even the hums of the dryer couldn’t sound me to sleep like it usually had. I looked out at the midnight sky as it started growing lighter. Colours began to shine through the clouds, Painting the sky beautifully. I sighed and then heard noise from outside. Bakura had finally awaken. I laid down and closed my eyes, Pretending to sleep. He checked on me in the morning. I knew it. As I said, He walked in unannounced and walked over to me. He slid my hair out of my face, Looked me up and down and then walked out. I heard the door click quietly. I laid motionless, Not daring to move just in case he sauntered back. I heard the coffee pot and the oven and then scratching again.

“What IS that?” I whispered to myself. It was the second night it happened. I scrunched my face in a confused face. I laid and listened to him until I heard the front door click and the car roar to life. I looked at the door until I heard silence and then stood up.

 

            I stretched a little bit and then walked out, The chill hitting me like a ton of bricks. I rubbed my arms and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of orange juice and started putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Then I noticed the second note on the table. I picked it up and started to read.

 

Ryou,

            We’re starting to run out of food, So I think you need to go out and do some shopping today while I’m at work. You can put the Christmas stuff up this year if you want. I’ll be home around five.

 

-Bakura

 

            “Short and sweet.” I said to myself. I smiled a little bit and realized I got to go out of the house. I ran into my room and changed my clothes and freshened myself up. I found my cover up and tapped it on my face and neck. It was necessary for the condition I was in. Boy or not. I looked in the mirror and nodded slightly and ran to the living room. It was only nine thirty three. I thought for a second if it was too early or not. I bit my lip and went to the kitchen making oatmeal and sat down. I ate it quicker than I thought and then ran towards the door. I slid on my boots and put on my coat over my long sleeved black and white shirt and headed out the door.

 

            It took me half an hour to get to the store in the snow. I was shaking by the time I got there. It was so cold. I went to the Wal*Mart super center. I looked around and bought more groceries than I could carry and I even looked around for things to get Bakura for Christmas. I found a few random things he might like and then looked at decorations. I kept getting awkward looks from people as they walked by me. They stared at me, Looked me up and down. I wonder if they could see anything. I touched my face gently and walked into the clothing department. I got some new jeans and some long sleeve shirts and headed to checkout. How I was going to get all of this home, I don’t know. By the time I got home, My arms were so tired that I dropped everything in the dining room and laid down on the couch, Falling asleep.

 

About three hours later I awoke and started putting everything away. I hid his gifts in my room, Under my bed. I knew he wouldn’t find them there. I walked to the extra room and grabbed a box that had all of the Christmas stuff in it and pulled it downstairs along with the tree. I had so much fun placing the items strategically throughout the house that I never even realized how fast the time passed. I danced to Christmas music and set the tree up beautifully. I set silver and red ornaments on it along with white lights and silver tinsel. I placed an angel up on top and stepped back after it was completed. Wonderful. I smiled to myself and made myself a cup of hot chocolate, Sitting on the couch. I looked at the decorated mantel with snow globes and stockings and nodded.

‘I think he might like it.’ I swigged my drink and laid down and soon fell asleep.

 

            The next time I woke up, I awoke to shakes and taps. I gasped and looked around.

“Hm? What?!” I looked at Bakura and took a breath. It was only him.

“How long have you been asleep?” he asked, Looking at the clock. It was almost seven.

“Since fourish.” I yawned and looked up at him. He shook his head and walked into the kitchen.

“I see you got food.” He said, Closing a cabinet door. He must of saw the full cabinets and refrigerator. I smiled to myself and stood up.

“Yes I did. And I got new decorations as well.” I walked over to him.

“So I saw.” He smiled a bit. He never smiled. My face went to normal, Slight in shock. He walked away.

‘Wow. He actually likes it.’ I smiled to myself. ‘He likes something I did.’ I walked over and sat in my chair and pulled my legs up.

 

            I looked over the Christmas tree and took in a breath. Tonight might be a good night for once. Tomorrow was my last day of school, Even if I had two days off already. I was excited for that one day of social contact. Although I was excited for Christmas as well. It was only four days away. I smiled to myself as I thought about his hidden gifts. I picked up my book and started to read; Flying into the night with thoughts in hand, Bakura falling asleep in the couch. I loved nights like these. If only we could have them more often.