Ring of Saturn (Prose Form)

Let me tell you about a girl I like.
It seems she's near, but really she's far.
One day on the road, behind her in a car,
I caught a strand of her
glowing hair.

I twirled it with my fingers, lost in thought.
To some it would be worthless, something to
throw away.

To me it was a grand gift, like a steaming meal
to a starving child. I eyed it like something to
cherish forever.

I thought: Will my fingers ever caress her
As they do this unintended present?
She is like a planet; Saturn, seen by a telescope
a great distance away.

An astronomer sees it in his eye
But it lies far far away. I hold this hair,
but it's source rests miles, solar systems, galaxies away
from my trembling hand.

Men have only reached as far as the moon;
Can one timid man put Saturn's ring on his finger?
I wonder as I watch her; my Saturn, with hair like
golden rings

Surrounded by nebula paintings in space's gallery,
splashes of green, red and blue. Beauty in perfection.
I still wonder... and hope.

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

Not my style of poetry Tiger but you express your unreachable dreams powerfully I enjoyed the read

[Melissa M.]

I see you expanded it as well as changing the form... I can't decide which I like better now. At the time when I read the free form it didn't flow for me, this one does, but it feels more... rigid? I can't quite explain, maybe it's the additional wording, for me less is more in poetry sometimes. This is still a great piece, but is it better than the other? I just don't know, maybe it depends on my mood.

[David P. Eckert]

Love from afar. I love the shift into Saturn's rings, longing to wear Saturn's ring as a metaphor for longing for an unrequited distant love. Terrific.

Can one timid man put Saturn's ring on his finger?

That image alone is enough for the whole prose poem, and of course there is more. Well done beyond that, but that line is great.

[L. L. Jacobson]

INTENSE.
I feel nothing but intensity, the waves of the physical science that moves through this, vibrant, whomphwhoomph, pumping, God this feels like me again, I too am Saturn and I too am in love,
the distance is the killer and I am blue. I can't breathe.
This poem is amazing!!!

[Amy Widmer]

"Can one timid man put Saturn's ring on his finger?" Exquisit! I love this work... absolutely beautiful.