Still

Still

A Poem by Bryan
"

A poem reflecting on the pain that I'm sure everyone experiences in life.

"

Still

I do not sleep

Something is there

An itch

Clinging to my very existence

If only I could shake it

Still I wonder

What is the purpose?

Why are we here?

Is there truly a light

At the end of every tunnel

© 2013 Bryan


Author's Note

Bryan
Another one of my contributions to the world (or should I say vast universe?) of poetry. Constructive criticism is helpful, then I can improve.

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Reviews

This one is mature beyond your years. I really like it. You're asking profound questions. As for style, sometimes repetition is a good device that works well; here, your repetition of "still" weakens the impact of the word. I would remove the second "still" (just go with "I wonder"). On the other hand, this sort of thing is very subjective; what I'm saying works best for me, but others may take exception.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is really good, i love your poems...

Posted 6 Years Ago


...Just look...your very consciousness is the light of the world.
Your being has lit both ends of the tunnel...both inner, and outer--
you need no "constructive criticism" your inquiry has already shone
its beautiful color.

Posted 6 Years Ago


TawnyBlueStar

6 Years Ago

I completely agree with this :)
Onoma

6 Years Ago

...Then...Truth is self-evident for the both of us. Allow nothing, no one--
to be a hindrance .. read more

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328 Views
3 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 14, 2013
Last Updated on January 14, 2013
Tags: Pain, Suffering, Life, Poem

Author

Bryan
Bryan

About
I am 15, I love to write. Not much happens in my life... yet somehow I find something to write about. I have very little experience, and I don't have as much time as I would like! But i try to writ.. more..

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