chapter 3

It had been a few days since my subconscious had told me something my mind didn’t want to accept. I had been regular regarding my swimming lessons, and school had been good, too. I had started to make friends and got along with at least a few of them. I had even started to forget my nightmare until one day after my swimming lesson, while he showered me, he was caressing my lady part when he tried to put his finger inside of me. Agony and excruciating pain hit me like the iceberg that drowned Titanic and I yelped, demanding to go out. He tried to explain himself, but I didn’t want to understand it. He had hurt me. I squirmed throughout the car ride home, and directly went to bed as soon as I had gotten home.

“Hi, can you help me with this math problem?” Taha, my classmate asked me. “Uh, sure. Coming,” I said. I got to his desk when my lower back, right above my buttcheeks started to hurt, followed by stabbing pain. I immediately fell to my knees, crying for help. At first I got to the bathroom, thinking maybe I was constipated. As I sat to do my business, blood started to drip out of me, turning what had been a tiring morning into the worst day of my life--or so I thought. “Are you okay?” I heard a teacher yell. “Yes,” I whimpered. Not long after I stepped out of the bathroom, air had escaped my lungs, leaving me breathless and fainting. The principal called my parents while Ms. Saniya tried to wake me. I couldn’t comprehend why this was happening.

Silently the world passed by, spinning many days into seconds. All of my memories gathered, from cramped test takings to events as small as a sleepover at my cousins. It went so fast, and maybe a little too fast.

My brother yelled at me from the first floor stairs, “Come downstairs the family is having a meeting!”

Dad revealed his friend to me. That grim old man? Not a chance. I learn more, I gain more knowledge.

“We have decided to take a trip, Adils family and ours to Singapore and Malaysia,” father announced.

Immediately my heart grew heavy, rushing towards pounds and packs of hemoglobin carrying the weight of a thousand hardships. I wasn’t ready for this at all, not one bit. I was even more terrified of what unknown move his friend was going to do next. Clearly visible, I still felt as if I was a ghost in their eyes, not hearing me out, not one word. What was I to them? The feeling of it all was ominous. As the days grew closer to the trip, I became more terrified of what was going to become of me. It had been a few months since that nightmare and all I wanted to do was forget about it.

The night before our flight, I went into my parents’ room, to talk to my mother, and confess everything to her. I waited for my dad to finish his tea, so I could begin. “Mom, dad, there’s something I need to tell you,” I finally said. “Yes, what is it?” my mom asked me. I was about to burst out with the pain that hung heavy in my heart like the moon, but my dad’s phone rang. Speak of the devil and here he was, or well, almost spoke of him. I waited for my dad to end his conversation so I could continue. After he got off the phone, he seemed more cheerful. “Adil is an angel sent by God really. You know, Nasima, I was trying to buy this land for the longest time but the seller was offering it for too much. Adil convinced the guy to sell it to us for ten percent less than what I had offered him. Now, he will be a ten percent stakeholder. Isn’t that amazing? That guy really is something. I’m so blessed to have him,” my dad said, shattering my courage to come clean about what this angel had been doing to me. “Sweetie, what were you saying?” he then turned to me and asked. I was hesitant to even breathe after realizing how much he meant to my father, and I did not want to hurt him so I kept my mouth shut. A mistake I should not have made. “Nothing. I’m just very excited about the trip, that’s all. I’ll see you in the morning, “ I said and rushed out of their bedroom. Now, what was I going to do? That man had everybody eating from the palm of his hands. Like he had told me in my dream, nobody was going to believe me. I had hinted a few times before that he was a bad man but my parents just thought I was being silly. How was I going to feel safe now?

I then dashed back to my room, ready to sleep early for a change.  It wasn’t long before I dozed off. I had been exhausted.

As the sun rose, it lightened up the dark and violent world that lived off constant approval from others, my limbs grew numb from the fear that crawled deep into my bones. I had a feeling this was going to be a long and painful vacation. I packed my Strawberry Shortcake backpack with my favorite dolls, UNO cards, coloring books, and snacks for the airplane. No matter how stressed I was, I loved flying overseas. It brought peace to my soul. We rushed to the airport, running late as usual. We met Adil’s family there, who waited for us at the check-in.  

At the airport, we met his wife and daughter. It was very faint and suddenly I felt like I saw two, but the eyelashes of my eyes grew visible like the gentle long fields of grass and darted back at Adil. He mentioned about our stay and decided to reside in a hotel. The long black screen of my life went away without hesitation.