chapter 7

“That is it! We are going far away from your boyfriend Jamie. We are going to move far far away from your stupid friends,” mom screamed. I was so scared at how easily manipulated they were. Mom used to be so sweet and now she was threatening the living daylights out of me.

I said, “Ok, I’m sorry mom.” She gave me a sympathetic look. I did not understand why her mood changed so quickly. The time collapsed and so did I. It was so awkward as I remembered it, actually, quite perverted if you ask me.

Mom woke me up and explained that we were not moving, but that we could take a vacation.

One rare and beautiful mid-morning came and our family visited the Cameron Highlands. Peace surrounded us everywhere and I was in total bliss. Malaysia had its numbness spirituality like that. The land was just gorgeous. It sparked of beauty everywhere in the most delightful omnipresence of everything. It included rice and there it had scrumptious strawberries. The rice was strawberry flavored too. They naturally grew them organically and I heard that the taste was a sweetness was like a gushing river of pleasure. I went laughing in the fields behind my family and every part of me felt the most natural ecstasy. I could feel the highland move and shift into serenity. Father bought strawberries and we got to try them out.

It was amazing, worthy of being explorable! I saw the massive blue skies and it felt as if it lifted me up. It was like a dream. We spent a few hours there and before we had to leave, I was crying that I would miss it, because I knew that I would. I knew it was going to be gone soon. It was too soon, and it should have stayed longer enough for me to remember all of it.

That very following night in the hotel, my brother and I were running high and scattering our dancing movements around in our room. We jumped on the bed like opposite twins, up when he’s down, down when he’s up, and Adil asked if we could play blackout. That was supposably where the room was to be pitch black and the person who was the monster had to catch us. I didn’t find it decent at all that he would be the monster. So my brother had been the one to hide.

We went hiding and I used the table to cover me. I felt pressure sink inside of me from my upper limbs. I didn’t like the comfort Adil was trying to set up for me.

Adil came to me, trying to grab and touch me. I yelled at him in disgust and shock. “What are you doing?”

My brother switched the lights on and Adil apologized sympathizing for himself, “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just trying to hide.” My head raised into a sharp edge. No, you were not sorry, I thought. He did that on purpose, plus wasn’t he supposed to be the monster, not the hider?

We arrived back home, and till this day I have no idea what he had told my father but the minute we got home, they took my phone, laptop, and joyfulness away from me. They grounded me for life. Then they made heavy unfair decisions to switch my school. I knew Adil was the reason for all of this happening. That Goddamn son of a b***h. It was pointless to ask myself why my family believed him over me.

“You can’t take my things away like that! I didn’t do anything wrong!” I cried. Adil glared at me, and I imagined two little devils inside of him dancing with maracas in their hands. “Now, I know that I’m not part of this family but I hate to see you all suffer because of her. If you want, I can take her back to Pakistan with me. Malaysia is too modernized for her. She can live with me, and I will make sure she stays on her best behavior,” Adil suggested to my father. “That’s not a bad idea. I mean it will be hard to stay away from her, but it will be for her best,” my father agreed. “No. Please no! I won’t go with him! Dad, please. I promise I’ll do whatever you want, I swear. Please! He’s a bad man please!” I cried in hopes to save my tormented soul.

Our family left for Pakistan that Summer season. It sucked terribly. Adil confused the family even more and went too far on our private lives. He obviously did not understand boundaries and pretty soon knew all of our family secrets. It was like he was living with us. My hatred for him and my family developed more and more, I grinded my teeth and told Adil straight to his face. “Don't ever f*****g touch me ever again. You don’t control my life. You’re gross, disgusting, traumatizing, and I hate you. I will date Jamie and I will do whatever the f**k I want and now you can’t stop me. You do not own me.” He replied ,”If you want to have fun, you can do things with me.” My stomach churned and just the thought of it made every part of my body want to scream. He forced to readjust my thoughts, and I thought he was being demanding again. This flirt s**t going on made me want to burn on the inside and implode. I said ,”What? You are disgusting, didn’t I just tell you that?” He replied, “No no don’t tell your mom, I didn’t mean that, I meant if you wanted to hang out with me--”

I was aggravated and toned down his awkwardly positive level remarking,”Why would I ever want to hang out with you? You are ugly and old!” I then exited the car, slamming the door shut.

When we returned to Malaysia, my father sent me to take a placement test for Fairview International school. He encouraged me to skip 7th grade and for that reason was because it was useless. Surprisingly, I passed the test for 8th grade. I restrained the desire to stay there. I didn’t want to be in Fairview at all. I wanted to be with Jamie and Pamela, but our friendship had been in ruins demolished all done by Adil. He poisoned my brother to be against me as well. I had been able to surpass to sixth grade to eighth grade. I was so proud to skip seventh grade. At the same time I missed Jamie. Adil started to stalk us in Malaysia. He just wanted to take everything away from me. Unfortunately, my thoughts were right. He took my phone, my laptop, and restricted my whole life, everything from school to sabotaged goods. It felt so terrible that the walls knocked off its natural stability and function. All this because I had a crush on Jamie? Every time he found out a dirty little secret of mine, he used it as a weapon against me.

Slowly and gradually, I became more and more rebellious against the cages I have been captured in. It was a prison that could not be seen, but felt if you were able to understand.

8th grade came to life in Fairview International School. I felt like life was all good and modest for me. Things changed as my parents believed the lies Adil created above me.

The school was rather an old should-have-been-demolished site, with raggedy classrooms and stained walls. “Hi, I’m Amy. Do you know where class 8F is?”I introduced myself to two girls who seemed to have been enthusiastic about getting to class. I than realized they had been using Sign Language to communicate. I immediately fell embarrassed. “Hello, this is Amanda, or Mandy whichever you prefer. I’m Melissa! You can stand and wait here with us, we’re also in 8F. That door on your left is the classroom,” she pointed out. While we waited, Amanda showed me her art work, and they were magnificent. I envied her talent. Amanda was a cute and petite Thai girl. She reminded me of an American dream. She was skinny and short with luminescent pale skin. Her hair was pixie cut and fringed and that molded her body shape to adjust, becoming a little more straightened. Melissa was much taller than the both of us. She had long glossy ebony black  hair. She was withered, yet somewhat new model like. She had a curvy shaped limb and that made her somewhat skinny, but not fully skinny.  She told me that she was from Singapore.