Burn

About a girl

She spends her nights alone dreaming of what could have been. She can't figure out where she went wrong. Tears stream down her cheeks as she longs for his voice. She can't sleep anymore with these thoughts racing through her head. She takes a pill in hopes of meeting him in her dreams. The only way she can see him now.

 

She regrets what she did. She hopes he can see her. She hopes he can hear her. She wants him to know that she's changed. She wants him to see the person she's become. She knows he is the only one that can save her.

 

Her hopes starts to fade as she patiently awaits. Day by day she burns losing herself in the fire. Her insides turn to ash. She can't wait any longer. Her cries for help become fainter and fainter. Her tears flow faster and faster. She wants a way out. Then she remembers their memories. The nights she spent lying in his arms. The embarissing secrets they shared to on another. She can't take it anymore. She longs for his touch, his breath, his love. She turns to the knife her only savior.

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

Decent piece.. I think that the sentence beginnings could vary, and that it would add a greater element of interest to your writing. I would also add up more buildup.. you talked about her longing, but not in a depressed kind of way. Overall, nice piece, but I think with some work it could help it reach its potential.

[0_o Abbie]

Very dark and beautiful. And oh so very true. Liked this alot.

[Tala]

Wow. Thats some good stuff. You haven't over clutered it or anything. I like how youve used short sentences to sort of emphasise them. :D

[Wicahpi]

sometimes that feels like that only way out.

"The *embarrassing secrets they s hared to *one another"
(just a few mishaps) :)