My Forever..

I wrote this in like five minutes, it was very rushed, I'll fix it later.

How he always tells me he loves me,
The way that he promises forever,
How he always treats me like a queen,
He tells me he’ll leave me never.

Without him I would be nothing,
I need him like air to breathe,
Without him I wouldn’t be happy,
But he promised to never leave.

Always he makes me the luckiest girl,
I never knew a love so true,
He’s always made me feel completely safe,
Even when our love was young and new.

No one in this world makes me happier,
His voice makes my heart skip a beat,
No one can please me like he does,
He absolutely makes my life complete.

With him I feel on top of the world,
It’d take a whole lot to bring me down,
With him I can always be myself,
And I know my true love has been found.

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

Aww. Very sweet and kind and compassionate

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahah, thanks Ahmad.

[Forever Hidden]

Awwwww this is so sweet! :)
Hopefully he'll be there with you till the end :)
I bet he would love it!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Awww, thank you (:

[dunnia]

this is so cute :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you!

[dunnia]

your very welcome :)

[rnuff]

This is so wonderful, I like this alot. Awesome write

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you(:

[Jordan's Back]

Here is the Examples i posted for better rhythm:

He’s always made me feel like the luckiest girl,
I never knew love like this could be true,
Maybe could be
Always he makes me the luckiest girl
I never knew a love so true
or
Making me feel like the luckiest girl
Never knowing a love oh so true.

Hope this helps

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you(:

[Jordan's Back]

your welcome, i hope their helpful

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

They were, I'm bout to change it(:

[Tasha]

This is so sweet and beautiful. Your words are true and told from the heart. I loved this beautiful piece. Keep it up.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you so much(:

[Tasha]

You're welcome.

[*** Hey Jude***]

I see why the words flowed so quickly. What a beautiful expression of loves many attributes! Thank you for a refreshing read of an Adoration that flourishes. Your poem brought smiles! ~ Namaste ~

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Awwwww, it's no problem, I'm glad you enjoyed it(:

[*** Hey Jude***]

Thank You, I did. Love is "alive", and grows ~ Enjoy ~ :-)

[Jordan's Back]

This is a very serious and Sincere piece, very beautiful and the words are sincere.
The Flow is wonderful and the Rhythm is Stoic Here is a bit of advice:
I have always found that the rudiments of poetry sometimes supersede Grammar Where Rhythm is concerned. For example:

He’s always made me feel like the luckiest girl,
I never knew love like this could be true,

[DarrinReay]

aw i love this!
Totally relatable and true love is a hard thing to find!
Keep up the great work (:

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Awwww, thanks so much (: