Memories

About my ex-bestfriend.. We were like sisters from the time we were toddlers til a couple months ago.. Now it's over. Really emotional piece for me.. Hope you enjoy.

Since before I can remember,
We were always best friends,
Couldn't ever be separated,
People asked if we were twins.

Now we're so different,
From two separate worlds,
The only similarity,
Us both being girls.

Used to finish your sentences...
We were so much alike,
Now you don't care about me,
And the tears, I can't seem to fight.

We have so many memories,
Countless inside jokes,
I thought you cared about me, but,
When was the last time we spoke?

I'm tired of doing this,
Always being the nice one,
While you sit back, get drunk,
And continue having all the "fun".

I'm not apologizing again,
You don't deserve that much,
I'm just going to forget about you,
The one who betrayed my trust.

I didn't even do anything,
I have nothing to apologize for,
So get out of my mind, my life,
Before you end up ruining more.

When we were little,
We promised friends forever.
But where are we now?
Never speaking again, ever.

Now all we have are memories,
Not enjoyable anymore,
Ones I wish I were strong enough,
To just be able to ignore...

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

This is certainly unfortunate and rents itself toward a clearer message than I could possibly conjure up after reading this heart's tourniquet!! It's weird being a dude and also growing up with girls EVERYWHERE!! lol My comment would border on that of what would sound sexist to someone not open to things that are said in the general sense and not being so biased to their OWN points of view and what-not. But there is the consideration of when a girl is young enough to support her own weight and tries her hand at dance, she finds herself affecting things with purpose, such as relationships, posturing expressions to receive them back, connecting to things that are important to just her..... like her friends. My sister's friends were other sides of my sister when the mood was perfect to accept them. If one friend was a good listener and another one was inclined to shop "to forget", and my sister wanted to de-stress..... she would call the one who liked to listen and then maybe shop after!! : ) When those roles that they play are ever-changing in their OWN lives, a girl may still want to fall back on what started this "once pure" relationship, and finds fault within the means. A guy at any age just wants to be important to someone "different than what a girl would consider or read to be -love-", go out and de-stress by working out and getting "over it", and keeping certain feelings in. Keeping them in allows for time to adjust moods, rationalize, and give proper respect to another person's boundaries until they are needed or asked for. When we hold on and THEN those bonds are broken, we are left to stir without closure!! Your friends, from here to your ends, will play the same roles that were important to you as a child.... only they will be easier to be recognized, judged unfairly in their beginnings, and we will say that it is our "heart" that now makes these choices. I know different. Nothing is more connected to Mother Earth, emotions, and the chemicals that stir love in every living thing on Earth than that of a girl with a heart to share.......... like YOURS, Amanda!! Sorry about the length. I'll start throwing those your way, into your mail if you'd like. xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'm so sorry, I just now saw this Mark. And yes, the difference between guys and girls, when it comes to their views of friendship, are completely different. Yes, some girls are extremely emotional when it comes to such things, and they freak out and everything.. And then generally guys aren't as hurt, they don't react as much and just do what they can to get over it. The differences are quite different, it's kind of weird to think about. Anyways, I don't mind your long reviews at all, I love them (: sorry that we haven't talked in a while, I hope that everything has been going well with you.

[Patrick Henry]

You can take a hiatus of any length. Trust me!! You will never have to "catch up" and have it be of urgent matter. I love that you remember me and speak so very easy!! I love it!! Merry Christmas, to you, Amanda!! Take those memories that creates your joys, birthed curiosity, and strengthened your heart to welcome yet another soul like mine to be able to have the chance to share and enjoy what you offer up in poem and in a letter...... Stay safe and stay Amanda so we can enjoy you for an indefinite amount of time!! My heart to yours..... I'm sure your "fans" and friends would agree; we Love You!! xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahha, thank you Mark (: and of course I remember you, how could I forget you? And as for the speaking easy part, well, I'm not very shy, hahaha, I haven't met many strangers, I don't have a problem talking to people :P merry Christmas to you as well, Mark! Enjoy family or friends or just having time to yourself, whatever you're up to this year. I'm glad that you enjoy all my poems and comments and everything, I really am. Stay safe as well, hahahaa, and I'll try to stay myself, I don't really think I'll ever be able to be anything else :P and Mark, haha, you're the only one who has claimed to be a "fan" of mine, but thanks (: enjoy yourself!

[Sami Geiger]

This is really good. I understand where you are going with this. my best friend dumped me to. It really does hurt when you loose a best friend. It's like a piece of you is walking away. Awesome write! I will be adding this into my library.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yeah, it really does feel like a part of you is walking away, it's terrible :/ I'm glad you enjoyed this though, and thank you!

[C.C. Marx]

Hard to lose someone you thought would always be there for u, trust me I know the feeling cuz it happened to me recently to, u will be ok, time eventually does heal wounds great job

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you. And I'm sorry that you had to go through this, I know that it is not a good feeling :/ hopefully time will heal these wounds. Thanks again!

[C.C. Marx]

My pleasure it will be hard but it gets better moving on is the hardest thing to do

[Erinne S.]

Quite a lot of emotion within this piece! It is always very painful to lose a best friend, but even more painful when it is them that chose it. I'm sorry for this pain you are going through and I hope things turn around quickly!

~Erinne

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Well, neither of us really chose it. I believe that we just kind of naturally grew apart, I'm not into the type of stuff that she now does, and I think that it's maybe for the best. After a couple months, I tried to talk to her (which was earlier this week) and it didn't work, but I think I'm okay with that. But thank you so much, Erinne (:

[Erinne S.]

You are very welcome :) If you ever need anything just let me know.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'll keep that in mind, thank you(: same to you!

[KeeD]

I'm sorry. I know its hard to have a best friend betray your trust but hopefully you can be strong, move on and just from reading this poem I know you care about her, even though you're hurt. That says a lot for me being a 3rd person not knowing either of you. But that's why this is such a great write because through your emotion I understand what she meant to you and what she means to you now. All I can say is /hug, you're a great writer. 100/100

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you so much Keegan. Yeah, she did mean a lot to me, but I think I can honestly say that i'm almost completely over her now.. I mean I might cry every now and then, but overall, I think I can move on alright. Thanks again! (:

[Lino Rie]

An awesome poem. I have thought of saying stuff like this to someone before.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you(: and sometimes it's hard for some people to stand up for themselves, but in this case, I'm just over it and don't really care anymore, hahaha.

[beautiful dreamer]

awwww i'm going through the same thing! dont worry i'll be your friend :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahahahha, okay thanks.

[beautiful dreamer]

:D

[An owl on the moon]

This is such an agonizing, personal expression so filled with loss... almost like a death it is... One so dear.. so precious.. so close.. and then sunrise after sunrise they drift away... make hurtful, destructive choices... try and bring you down with them... This is the true power of poetry.. to say so much with a few lines of text... to make us all feel that profound hurt you have in your heart... May you move on.. truly.. and find peace in the letting go, dear friend.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you Craig, I hope that I can do so as well.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, Amanda! I can totally relate to this poem. I see why this piece was very emotional for you, it's the same for me. I used to have a best friend that we'd do everything together, now we're never together. It's almost as if we despise each other. We hang out with different crowds. She hangs out with a girl that I completely can't stand. Like you mentioned:

"We were always best friends,
Couldn't ever be separated,
People asked if we were twins."--That's the same story with me and my ex-best friend. Another thing that split us is that she stole every single one of my exes and crushes from right in front of me. I trusted her too much to care. She's changed so much and I'm still the goody two shoes and that's the kind of crowd I hang around too. She isn't a good influence for me anymore. That's also the opinion of my parents. A lot has happened between me and her and it's caused a lot of problems between her and my parents.
A beautiful and relatable piece! I'm sure everyone has that ex-best friend. :)

Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG ;)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, I'm pretty sure we all have that ex-best friend who we won't ever completely be able to forget.. My ex-best friend who I was talking about in the poem is actually two years older than me, so we never really hung out with the same people, but that never really seemed to bother us. And wow, stealing exes and crushes is terrible, especially if it's from someone that you were bestfriends with.. Dang :/ and yes, the girl who I talked about in this poem is 15, and she now smokes weed, drinks, and has slept with many guys. She started doing all that right around the time when our friendship just seems to have ended.. But she definitely isn't a good influence, although I would never give into that stuff. And the problem is, her stepdad and mom, and my parents are bestfriends, so we probably won't be able to completely ignore each other. It is a terrible thing though, I'm glad you enjoyed the poem, thank you.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Yeah it sucks it really does suck! Everyone always asks why was I friends with her? I just say we can't help who God puts on our path into friendship. Things happen for a reason whether for the good or bad. You're very welcome! :)

[.Lost Soul.]

This was very emotional and I can tell it came right from the depths of your heart. It really sucks when you loose your best friend, I would know. But congrats for standing true to your self and not giving into saying sorry. My favorite stanza was
"I'm not apologizing again,
You don't deserve that much,
I'm just going to forget about you,
The one who betrayed my trust."
As I said, very powerful. The emotions overcame me.
Awesome write! 100/100

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, losing a best friend is such a terrible feeling, and it seems like many of us have experienced it :( but thanks, I decided I was going to move on, she isn't worth the pain and the tears. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, thanks again!

[Lina Grey]

I can relate, very much. (seen my poem "I Remember You"?) It's hard when friendships end, especially when they're so promising and uplifting, and the downfall is so hard and sudden. If you want to talk, hun, inbox me, kk?

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'm glad that my poems are relatable, but I'm sorry that you had to go through this terrible experience :( I'll go check out your poem(: and yes, it is very hard, I think I kind of relied on her to always be there, and now she isn't :/ and thank you, I may take you up on that offer sometime!

[Lina Grey]

Your welcome. For me, she was one of two people who were my best friends that I relied on for everything. And when she left, she took my other best friend with her :( C'est la vie, I guess. I can't change their decisions.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Awwwwww, I'm so sorry :( you'll find friends who are worth your time, and actually care about you and deserve you (:

[Lina Grey]

thanks. I think I might have, though people think it's weird since it's my ex and all his friends :P You will, too. You'll find people worthwhile :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahahaha, whatever works(: even if it is your ex, maybe you guys are just better off friends, and that's perfectly fine. And I think I have already(: there are three people who I can call best friends, and I'm confident that we always will be (:

[Lina Grey]

Yeah, whatever works :) And that's great for you!