Broken Dreams...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BROKEN DREAMS…

 

 

I faced defeat at every step of my life,

Trying to kill myself every night…

My questions were never heard,

And living only became absurd.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

 

My broken dreams now fallen and scattered,

And waiting for someone to pick them and gather.

I never dreamt of something very large,

But this life for me always remained a mirage.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

Once on dreaming love I got betrayed,

And it cut my heart like a razor's blade.

That dream's broken and lying on a corner,

I need to live my life in same broken manner.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

I never got success and was cheated every time,

When I tried to fulfill the innocent dreams of mine.

No one ever noticed my sacrifice and pain,

They even dumped me for their own gains.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

And...It's not easy to be me….

 

 

Reviews

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

The images you used at the beginning and end of this piece complimented your words very well.

You had a beautifully reliable rhythm and your word choice was perfect for what you were describing. Too often people overdo their words and their poetry loses meaning, but this was definitely not the case. Your lines flowed very nicely. I like how you concluded each stanza with the same lines.

I also like how you concluded this piece with an ellipses. This kind of makes the reader think there's gotta be more to this story, but it also concludes quite well.

This is piece is beautiful. You are a talented writer; keep it up!

[Mike L. Smyth]

I really like this piece of work. Hence the reason you won my contest. Very well done. The rhyme sceme is very well put together as well.

[The Outlaws' Song]

You express strong emotions through this poem.It has a great flow and it reads very very well.
The repetition of these lines "I'm here alone with my broken dreams,/Broken inside�" at the end of each stanza adds a great effect -- it makes the feeling of sadness come out of your poem even stronger.

The pics are absolutely brilliant--great choices!!!

[Blue Rose]

The second pic actually pumped me.
It's going very well with the write.
Awesome work.

[Blackbeats]

This is a perfect example of DARK POETRY
Darkness is like flowing from each and every line, every word.
Amazing!

[KayOss]

This is incredible. I found myself identifying with the speaker in this poem. I think many of us can identify at some point. The trick is to grab a broom, sweep up the pieces and form new dreams. Form new hopes and aspirations if the old ones can't be fixed. One thing that I've learned is that we are, all of us, resilience. The question is the degree of resiliency that we each possess.

I loved the pictures as well. Rather than being distracting, they complemented the poem and helped convey the message more clearly. Great job, here. With your poetry, pictures and even the format, you've manage to form one cohesive unit that clearly expresses the idea of being broken and of having broken dreams.

[None]

Your poem is incredible. I'm sad to see so much unfulfillment and unhappiness. I have a solution to your problem and it is proven to work. It will take time. In your profile page as well you state how you never have the things you want and how everything goes wrong. Only positive thinking will bring you the good things in life. If you feel something will NEVER be yours, it won't be. God answers your mind with what you tell it and ask for so asking for negative things will produce the same. I know a perfect book on it and if you want I can send it to you. :) Soon, you will not be the victim and will conquer everthing with your powerful mind! It's free, too. haha.
I really feel your emotions and how broken you are--not just your dreams--in your very well written poem!
Change your thinking and change your life by re-training your brain!!
Excellent poetry!!

[Innocent]

I loved the second pic a lot dude! Its amazing.
Well, the write itself is quite nice and lingering. It can even be a good song lyric according to me or may be there is something strange in my mind right now lolz..
But, this one is really too deep and intensely serious.
Full of pain and longing :(

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I can remember feeling this way in my high school days. Hope all is well with you now.


Great Write.

[shadadakiya]

thats how i feel inside it like you picked my insides hugs* great and awsome work(: thank you.

[!!..Love..!!]

I didn't liked the piece too much in the starting because I loved it from the very first line.

"I faced defeat at every step of my life,

Trying to kill myself every night�" Just after reading these lines I realized that yeah! here comes your another dark poetic piece which is very well written.

I agree with caffeine that the last line "And...It's not easy to be me�." basically sums up the entire feel.

Very well penned ^_^

And the second picture is really too too good!