Broken Dreams...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BROKEN DREAMS…

 

 

I faced defeat at every step of my life,

Trying to kill myself every night…

My questions were never heard,

And living only became absurd.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

 

My broken dreams now fallen and scattered,

And waiting for someone to pick them and gather.

I never dreamt of something very large,

But this life for me always remained a mirage.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

Once on dreaming love I got betrayed,

And it cut my heart like a razor's blade.

That dream's broken and lying on a corner,

I need to live my life in same broken manner.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

I never got success and was cheated every time,

When I tried to fulfill the innocent dreams of mine.

No one ever noticed my sacrifice and pain,

They even dumped me for their own gains.

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

 

I'm here alone with my broken dreams,

Broken inside…

And...It's not easy to be me….

 

 

Reviews

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

The images you used at the beginning and end of this piece complimented your words very well.

You had a beautifully reliable rhythm and your word choice was perfect for what you were describing. Too often people overdo their words and their poetry loses meaning, but this was definitely not the case. Your lines flowed very nicely. I like how you concluded each stanza with the same lines.

I also like how you concluded this piece with an ellipses. This kind of makes the reader think there's gotta be more to this story, but it also concludes quite well.

This is piece is beautiful. You are a talented writer; keep it up!

[Valorie J. Shearer]

Very powerful, and moving! Loved it.. Take care~~~

[Emily B]

Words and images work together well. Your writing portrays much of turmoil.

[The Grammar Nazi]

I like a lot of your work, you write with such emotion. This piece is very well penned, keep up the good work.

[Nicholas Hallows]

'I never got success and was cheated every time,
When I tried to fulfill the innocent dreams of mine' - It is easy to feel the world is against you when your world is so dark.

I'm not a big fan of pictures with poetry because I think the words should say all they need to, but these pics here really fit this poem.

The repetition of the final lines in each stanza gives it a lyrical quality too. I can imagine this being spoken.

Good work! NH

[Imperfection]

The title is what attracted me to this piece. The pain just seems to ooze out of your words.

Very strong emotions again in this one.
The pictures are excellent, especially the second one.
I like the last line best. It pretty much sums up everything conveyed before.

[Kevin Andros]

Hey! I am very very very very very very extremely angry at you now! Why the hell you don't send me a read request as soon as you add a peice?? I'm going to kill you now and break your bones just like the broken dreams!

Okay, I forgot, this ain't a message, this is a review.

About your peice, is deadly as usual. Typical Bhavya Kaushik stuff. How did you get the picture? Nice job fella. It actually feels wierd to say nice to a peice that is anything but nice. This speaks of pain and a person's bad luck in life. Every person going through a rough patch of life is bound to have these kind of thoughts. I said nice because this peice has a sense of incredulity in it all over the place and that includes the photos.

Nice peice, but I'm still furious at you for not sending me a read request straight away. This is the second time that you didn't do this. Will Say more in private. ~KA~

[Kimmee Jean]

i really like it...the pictures make it pop more!