Don't Get It Twisted...

My third poem...based on some memories of past loves and how right the current one is.

Don't Get It Twisted...

I’m not your Saviour!

I can only save my own password.

The one that unlocks my heart.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

If I need a hero, I’ll wear the cape.

Save myself, slay the dragon, tear the villain apart.

 

I’m not your Saviour!

 

Don’t look to me for answers.

I can only pass my own tests.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

I don’t need your cheat sheet.

My answers lie within my chest.

 

I’m not your Saviour!

 

I can’t fix other’s wrongs.

I can only love the damage.

 

You’re not my Saviour!

 

My heart is easy, my mind hard to understand.

Just know if you wrong me…I’ll be a savage.

 

I’m not your Saviour,

You are not mine.

We can join forces

And together combine

Two complete wholes

That make a mighty force

Side by side we'll face all

With strength, honor and no remorse.

Author's Note

You real poets out there will find issues with flow, rhythm, etc. That's okay. This is my version of a love poem...

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Trying not to sound condescending but this is a brilliant attmept at the form in my humble opinion. Straightforward romance with no frills. Excellent. And that last line is the killer.

[Carol Cashes]

Brilliant? I'm honored that such a talent would use that word in connection to my simple efforts. I thank you, and I believe every word. I can't fix you, I'll love you all the way to the doctor/therapist that will, and stop the bleeding if I have to until medical/psychiatric care can take over the CPR. But, if I'm the answer, you have the wrong question.

[Ken Simm.]

Believe it! He said as the men in white coats came with their clipboards.
Seriously it is an excellent putting together of words. As for the bit about my talent. There is a word they use over here that begins with B ends in S and describes something round, hairy and dangly And has other uses as an expletive.

[Carol Cashes]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Xeru]

I really enjoyed that poem and I have alot to reflect on. But the last line is something I think of the most when pondering relationships.

This said alot. But...

If we are truly two wholes... why would we be attracted to each other at all? Conceptually the bible says Adam and Eve were two halves. So maybe the issue is we dont do well recognizing the half we need to be whole with...

Even with all of that said... I still find it hard to disagree with any of the content I read before that statement lol. Ironic right?

What you wrote is definitely the ideal tho...

I think you can be whole if you never had a half if that makes sense...

I think once you enter someone's body and or allow them to enter yours.. your expectation psychologically and affectionately is to be a part of someone else... As flawless as you can be..

Great write. Love the positive energy and self proclamation. Keep your distance... but come here...

[Carol Cashes]

I agree with the laws of attraction concept, but, I think two healthy wholes, make a much better force, an army of 2, if you will against this cruel, cruel world. Times are tough enough, you need a strong partner, not a parasite. I'm realistic enough to know that we all come with baggage, but don't expect someone else to be the answer. Ask someone to help you, stand by you while YOU find your answers. Of course, none of that s**t rhymes, so...

[Xeru]

Nodding.. hmmm

I agree. You dont want to carry the whole load by yourself. Everybody carries their own backpack. I feel you.

[brinda]

Relationship is all about giving space to your partner to follow his heart.Its about the longing to stay together without any personal motive as such,if you know what I mean.I think your poem beautifully conveys that thought.Loved it ✌

[Norman 223]

after 53 years of marriage, we know better than to "mollycooddle" each other. We were both self sufficient when single, but found that our combined results were more effective.
Your poem echoes our "philosophy " on partnership.

[Carol Cashes]

And thus, 53 years...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I applaud the adult-ness of this love poem! "I am not your Saviour, You are not mine." "Two complete wholes..That make a mighty force." This is what a healthy relationship should be. Although the give and take is always an integral part..Brava!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Carol! :)
I like your version of a love poem, not mushy at all. And, overall I really like the way you've presented your thoughts, though i think it could have a bit more between the repeated lines, more burger between the buns. Haha... Relationships are weird. I enjoy the novelty of meeting new people and the comfort of finding familiar behavior in them; and I'm always pushing at the boundaries they put up, trying to get inside to find their purest joy. Do you think the various personalities that people have belong to them?

[Carol Cashes]

Of course. Bring me your weird, crazy freak-a*s and together we have a circus. *snort* If you're so inclined, we can have our own Cirque de Soleil and live life on our terms!

[mattavelli]

Party time! Haha

[Jimmy Yetts]

Brutally frank "love poem."
A desperately needed declaration.
Love it!

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you. Too many think they "need" another to be whole. Trying to be a responsible and conscientious human is hard enough without the pressure of being a particular individual's reason for livin'...Live with me, and we can do great things or nothing together.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love the last paragraph
Very beautiful love it

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you for reading. I've always been uncomfortable with people who "need" me too much, it indicates that it's not so much "me" they need, but something within themselves.