When Words Pale

(four different attempts on this subject matter, Sky View already published)

I planned a poem to celebrate Vermont in fall,

a vision of thick forests upon her mountain slopes.

A mesmerising mass of vermillion intensity

graded in height, whose breathless beauty would

raise a gasp from even the most reluctant of ghosts.

So transfixed was I by layers of fluttering skirts,

of bright foliage, interwoven with splashes of

ochre, molten gold and hooker green, I wondered

whether I could attempt to capture the magnificence

to convey all I had seen in mere words.

And then I looked at the heavenly, cloudless sky,

not a feather of floating cloud in sight, not a wisp of

wayward white,just bluer than deepest sapphire blue.

There's no colour chart on earth that would replicate

that hue. It's a Vermont sky, one to sigh for.

If this wasn't bountiful enough, I was gifted twice,

a reflection of all in cool clear waters of a silent lake.

How great is that? Two for the price of one.

Abundant as well as lavish is nature's mother

when her mood exudes kindness.

So I took the whole of what my eyes had perused,

and tasked my muse to give of her best

because I wished to pen with an artist's flair

for a fellow poet who has an affinity with this place,

much loved from his early childhood days.

I wrote in couplets, in triolets. I tried free verse

and I bled in rhyme and after a time I was on the 

point of giving up, convinced I had failed, but

I desired my friend should feel the agony of my pen,

when I tried to do justice to his Vermont.

Reviews

[.]

Don't give up, don't give up please and you know you portrayed it so beautifully!!The beauty of Vermont came alive with your words and I hope your friend must be delighted with this portrayal.

Your sky portrayal was so aesthetically poetic....liked it so much

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Sima you are always so encouraging. I thank you. Have a lovely day.

Chris

[.]

You are so welcome.Have a lovely day to you too.

[Kent Rawski]

I grew up in michigan now far removed
but i loved the pristine serene quiet depth of a new fallen snow untouched by human hands . In trying to describe that though it is as if comparing a delicate exquisitely finely detailed crocheted doiley to a plain white napkin the takeaway isnt the same but what we envisioned is in us☺️☺️ thank you for your very gracious kindness

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Kent, I am sure that this part of the world blessed with snowfall would look incredible in winter. All seasons have their own special beauty. I thank you for your time a d thoughts.

Chris

[Crowley]

Somethings are sacred, somethings are just made for vowing in real time. The lily of a woman’s sigh, the smile of a young girl, the presence of a confident young man and yes probably the Vermont landscape in fall. Loved this lesson on those things best not left to the imagination. Really good Christine!!!

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Crowley. Always good to receive your thoughts. I thank you for your kindness.

Chris

[Robert Trakofler]

You and I are so kindred in this feeling dear Chris oh how I BLEED IN THE ACHE OF CONVEY :) Some days I feel that all I do is pale in the comparison to the images and feelings left inside me but its never enough to make me quit just stomp my feet yes pound the desk throw the pen crumple the paper yell at the cat (of whom could care less) then I just sit back down and start tapping away for the hunger of it outweighs my hunger for worldly sustenance:( its nice to know I'm not the only one out there Chris:) last time I drove thru vermont I had double pneumonia and was feverishly driving home alternating clutching a bottle of robitussin and an energy drink... as I was cresting a hill top I vividly remember the giant perfectly round red balloon hovering in the air looking as if I could skip off the earth and drive right into it it was a hot air balloon but it was spherical I have never seen another like it since perhaps it was a hallucination but I still remember it so vivid

[Chris Shaw]

Bunny, yes we do bleed for convey don:t we? So many times, I revise and revise to try and get it right. I don't give up though:) What a pity you weren't feeling great when you last saw Vermont. That hot air balloon straight out of my imagination. Have a lovely day my friend.

Chris

[Lorry]

Nature is like that Chris, as well you know. 2 for 1 with zero advertising. Like the day a couple of years ago when the sun came out here (i remember it was a tuesday) It was a dour, dreich day and all of a sudden it looked like someone figured out how to work the skylight and everything was backlit with a golden hue. It was beautiful. But something glinted on the path and on inspection, turned out to be a gold necklace that would have gone undisturbed. I handed it into the local shop anfd months later was told it was claimed. It was like she shone her spotlight on it solely to be found.
Never been to Vermont, but it sounds pretty good by your description. You should keep it secret in case tourists descend and spoil it 😀

If i could paint, i would paint this, just from your piece, to see if it matched.

[Chris Shaw]

Lorry, what a pity you are so lacking in sun up there. Your little story about the necklace a delight. You handed it and you didn't even get a thank you!! So visually expressed.

A dour, dreich day, that's what we have here. Love that word dreich.

No, I haven't been to Vermont and I'm unlikely to go, but it was nice imagining that I was there. No tourists featured in my imaginary travels. May thanks for checking this one out.

Chris

[Lorry]

With our accent, dreich has a capital CH at the end 😀

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I've noticed this year more red and orange, which is unusual. Typically, I get more yellow in the trees that surround my yard. I'm assuming this is due to a lack of rain this year.

[Chris Shaw]

I'm sure that the colours of the foliage have much to do with the local weather. A lack of rain would make a difference Thanks for coming back to read this one for a second time.

Chris

[danielle.]

Love love love the realness of this piece! And your descriptions do paint a vivid picture of the beautiful things you are describing here xo

[Chris Shaw]

What a lovely review you have gifted me ellemorell. Thank you so much for your visit.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you definitely do justice to my old haunts...so well....it comes back alive for me...thank you for this Chris...hard to imagine from reading this that you have not been there yourself...Emily Dickinson also had that knack for imagining so well with her poetry that we actually think she traveled extensively when she only ever was seven miles from her father's house.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

So amazing that Emily never traveled more than seven miles from her Father's house. I used to compose poems from pictures quite a bit years ago, not so much these days. Pleased though to be able to try and recapture Vermont for you. I think I would much rather have seen it for myself. Many thanks Jacob.

Chris

[Dave]

You did wondrous justice to Vermont. It's been years since we've been there, but I remember it so well.
My entire family learned to ski there. The clean crisp snow. The mom and pop grocery store we stopped at and got fresh, sharp cheddar cheese and crackers to snack on at night. The dark, dark sky at night that enabled you to see gzillion stars. Your poets' pen did very well. You dredged up many fond memories. Thank you - Take care - Dave

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dave. So you have experienced Vermont in winter when it is covered in snow? How wonderful. Pleased I was able to stir up some memories. I have only seen photos of Vermont in fall but fell in love with the spectacular colours of the foliage. Truly mesmerising. Hope all is good with you and yours. All good wishes.

Chris

[Dave]

Yes - unfortunately we've never got to enjoy the fabulous colors of Fall. have several friends that have told me that have told me that I should make a special effort to do so. - Some day ......
Take care - Dave

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think this is beautiful. It's so funny to me when I think of Robert Frost. His name is so well known that it seems he wrote centuries ago. The fact that he only died in 1963 lends credence to the caliber of his work, and the fact that he lived and wrote in the Green Mountains of Vermont is testament to its beauty. It's frustrating at times to not be able to find the right words to express yourself; but in this poem, your frustration proved to be the perfect bristles with which to paint your picture. Well done.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Linda Marie. The foliage in fall in Vermont certainly inspired me to try and capture it. We do not get the reds over here, more ochres and rusts. I was truly knocked out with the colour. I appreciate your visit.

Chris