When Words Pale

(four different attempts on this subject matter, Sky View already published)

I planned a poem to celebrate Vermont in fall,

a vision of thick forests upon her mountain slopes.

A mesmerising mass of vermillion intensity

graded in height, whose breathless beauty would

raise a gasp from even the most reluctant of ghosts.

So transfixed was I by layers of fluttering skirts,

of bright foliage, interwoven with splashes of

ochre, molten gold and hooker green, I wondered

whether I could attempt to capture the magnificence

to convey all I had seen in mere words.

And then I looked at the heavenly, cloudless sky,

not a feather of floating cloud in sight, not a wisp of

wayward white,just bluer than deepest sapphire blue.

There's no colour chart on earth that would replicate

that hue. It's a Vermont sky, one to sigh for.

If this wasn't bountiful enough, I was gifted twice,

a reflection of all in cool clear waters of a silent lake.

How great is that? Two for the price of one.

Abundant as well as lavish is nature's mother

when her mood exudes kindness.

So I took the whole of what my eyes had perused,

and tasked my muse to give of her best

because I wished to pen with an artist's flair

for a fellow poet who has an affinity with this place,

much loved from his early childhood days.

I wrote in couplets, in triolets. I tried free verse

and I bled in rhyme and after a time I was on the 

point of giving up, convinced I had failed, but

I desired my friend should feel the agony of my pen,

when I tried to do justice to his Vermont.

Reviews

[.]

Don't give up, don't give up please and you know you portrayed it so beautifully!!The beauty of Vermont came alive with your words and I hope your friend must be delighted with this portrayal.

Your sky portrayal was so aesthetically poetic....liked it so much

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Sima you are always so encouraging. I thank you. Have a lovely day.

Chris

[.]

You are so welcome.Have a lovely day to you too.

[kentuck14]

Nice one Chris . . . when we lived in up-upstate NY we went over to Vermont often and enjoyed the beauty of the Green Mountains. Vermont's culture has changed a lot due to the migration from NYC and environs. It now is a trendy place . . . whereas New Hampshire still retains some of its old New England ways. If you ever visit US make sure you visit this area . . . but don't do it in the winter!
T

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for the review and the advice Tom. I have never visited the USA, but hope to one day. On my bucket list. Lucky you having visited Vermont.

Chris

[wordman]

you painted vermont with all the beauty of your heart

[Chris Shaw]

That is a lovely thing to say and I thank you for your words and visit Ron.

Chris

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Eilis]

Setting out to write something specific has always been a risky venture for me. The thing takes on a life of its own and what I’d set out to do isn’t realized. The creative process is odd.

But even in your musing about it in this poem you’ve captured something essential about an American autumn as well as the journey of the poet.

I was standing outside the other morning and the sky was that deep clanging blue you describe here. I always feel physically affected by that. But it’s not a feeling I can put into words. It’s like a sense of freedom and release after the long, smoggy days of summer.

In the end, your poem made me think of those things we keep reaching towards in our writing that remain alluring but elusive over a period of time. Sometimes we are finally able to say what we wanted and sometimes we are not. The journey can be frustrating or illuminating and we come out sometime later that much further along the road to somewhere we didn’t even know we were going.

Your poem is a lovely exploration of time and place from the perspective of someone outside of it, but also of the creative process itself. I really enjoyed this, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Eilis, it's always a pleasure reading your thoughts about my poetry. I thank you for your interest and encouragement.

Chris

[Fabian G. Franklin]

To quote Joyce Kilmer, "I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree." Yet, be that as it may, it won't deter the true poet from making the effort. :) I salute your efforts just as I salute the beauty that inspires them. Bless.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Fabian for your visit. I'm a huge fan of Joyce Kilmer. Your thoughts always appreciated.

Chris

[Gerald Parker]

Can we ever do justice in words to Nature's beauty the way a painting can? We can however, as you have, get people's imagination working. I read below that you haven't been there, and nor have I. Fortunately I live on the edge of Epping Forest where Queen Elizabeth i had a hunting lodge.

[Chris Shaw]

You are fortunate Gerald living where you do. Both beauty and history on your doorstep. Tha k you for your review.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

I read this twice for its beauty. Never been there nut I would love to visit. On the bucket list. You are gifted and we are enjoying your gift.

[Chris Shaw]

A lovely review from you Sami. I hope you have a long bucket list and you get to do all you have planned. Vermont in fall is one of mine.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

It is ind. Thanks for the wishes. You are welcome...

[andrew mitchell]

Well done Chris, love the imagery such beauty in your pen.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Andrew. Your visits much appreciated.

Chris

[DIVYA]

I marvel at your ability to capture the beauty of a place and a season from sheer imagination and feeling. It’s a rare writer who can visualise a place so convincingly without having been there. You brought the picture alive for me in all its radiance and colour!

[Chris Shaw]

Such a pleasure to have you review these lines DIVYA. Pleased I could bring you some of Vermont's radiance in fall. All good wishes.

Chris

[DIVYA]

It’s such a pleasure to be reading you again, dear Chris.

[olla]

you stopped ne dead at hooker green.. I wonder what kind of hooker you refer to.. I use to tease my elderly clients when I painted their nails "hooker red".. I loved this.. I have never been to Vermont but I too have seen pictures and travelogues and read about how beautiful it is.. your words have intrigued my imagination.. perhaps.. I have a large bucket and a long list.. travel is still not out of the question..

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you olla. Hooker green is a Windsor and Newton shade of green on an artist's palette. A shade of envy :) I love what you said about hooker red. That put a smile on my face. Good you have a large bucket list. This place looks fabulous in fall. Alas I have only seen it on pics, the real thing must be very special. Overy much appreciate your visit.

Chris

[olla]

thank you.. I will have to look for it on a color swatch.. the color of envy.. a wonderful description..

[augustus]

A distant place never to be seen by me! Your description helps me understand the beauty of what you've seen!

[Chris Shaw]

Alas Augustus I have only seen in photographs, regretfully not in the flesh. Plenty of imagination used here. Thank you for your visit. Have a lovely evening.

Chris