Miles Sans Smiles

Miles Sans Smiles

A Poem by Chris Shaw
"

(when you can't be where you want to be)

"
in thought flight
i wing westwards
where a cold cruel sea
tirelessly wears me down
in your winter's discontent

how lengthy it has been
how distant your warm smile
that broke ranks from your
much pined countenance
i watch as you breathe

gently into night's quiet
as a rose tinted light
glows softly from a lamp
as shadows are cast
in this far away room

my gloom dissipates
when i see you at rest
the rise and fall of your chest
your skin no longer etched
with unknown anxieties
causing torture

you are at peace
in sleep's embrace
a temporary release perhaps
no trace of fear to haunt
lid covered eyes

no cries as the familiar
turns into a stranger
i leave you with a brow kiss
and a heartfelt plea
don't miss me mum
as much as i miss you

© 2021 Chris Shaw


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Featured Review

Chris, you have genuine talent. I know a problem I have (because I'm old and heard too much metric and/or rhyming in school) is being too literal. Your first two lines reminded me of my own difficulties. "in thought flight, i wing westwards"

From the poems I've read in literary journals, the thought you express often is put more like this: thought flying, on westward wing....cold cruel sea pounding tirelessly....I am broken...blah, blah, blah.

I'm not suggesting this for your poem, but wondering if you see in yourself the same kind of problem I find in my work?

There is literal and then there is suggestion - and then there is poetry. I don't know where I fall on that continuum but too close to literal, for sure.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your visit. To be honest, I go with the muse. If it comes out literal, then th.. read more



Reviews

powerful stuff as usual, but the first one I read on dementia was much more powerful. I think you lose force with words like 'countenance,' 'heartfelt,' 'unknown,'tirelessly'.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

2 Months Ago

Thank you Mike for the read and your suggestions for improvement of this piece. All good wishes.read more
What a heartfelt vision. The compulsion to always be there when needed, and take anothers pain.

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Months Ago

Thank you dear Cherrie for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. So pleased you called.

read more
fantastic work ! nice to meet you chris ! my name is cheyenne.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Good to meet you too Cheyenne. Many thanks.

Chris
Oh gosh, makes tears come to my eye..
Loved every word...
Lisa

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you Lisa, Hope you are having a good weekend. Cold and miserable here. I wonder if you have su.. read more
Lisasview

4 Months Ago

Well, yesterday it was oh so cold and basically no sun.. We have solar panels and I can see on my ph.. read more
great poem i enjoyed reading it keep up the good work

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you Jennifer. Pleased you checked in and left a review. I'll check more of yours out later.read more
jennifer little

4 Months Ago

your welcome and thank you ill read more of your work and leave a review as well
How incredibly sweet this is. I can feel the love that you have for your mother here. How lovely. I'm sure your mom is a kind and warm woman, and this is a beautiful and warm write for her.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you light and ashes. I really would like to see my mum more, but the distance gets in the way.. read more
light and ashes

4 Months Ago

I'm sure.....I'm sorry to hear that.
amazing write. torturous emotion laced throughout. i could feel the longing sadness. poetry at its finest ... :)

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Aw, thanks Pete for your encouragement. I need it at the moment, mu muse has cleared off and I am gi.. read more
Heartbreaking but still beating in my chest as I read this incredible moving write. Sad. The ending was so strong on realizing who you were writing about. Who can not relate to this in one way or another? But who can write such pain as well as you? I can’t. Tyfs Wonderfully explained and expressed.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Cyprian, a delight to have this review from you today. Thank you so much for your encouragement. All.. read more
Chris, you have genuine talent. I know a problem I have (because I'm old and heard too much metric and/or rhyming in school) is being too literal. Your first two lines reminded me of my own difficulties. "in thought flight, i wing westwards"

From the poems I've read in literary journals, the thought you express often is put more like this: thought flying, on westward wing....cold cruel sea pounding tirelessly....I am broken...blah, blah, blah.

I'm not suggesting this for your poem, but wondering if you see in yourself the same kind of problem I find in my work?

There is literal and then there is suggestion - and then there is poetry. I don't know where I fall on that continuum but too close to literal, for sure.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you so much for your visit. To be honest, I go with the muse. If it comes out literal, then th.. read more
I still have my mom, but my father passed away when I was 9. I didn't really know him. Sorry about your mom...

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

4 Months Ago

Thank you Beckies for your kind response and for your visit today. You are appreciated.

read more

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Added on November 30, 2021
Last Updated on November 30, 2021

Author

Chris Shaw
Chris Shaw

Berkshire, United Kingdom



About
Albert, my paternal grandfather introduced me to Tennyson when I was nine. I have loved poetry ever since but did not attempt writing a single piece until I was 40. It's never too late to try somethin.. more..

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