Holes In Thinking

my pen plays idle

as brain cells collide and side

in sympathy with mother's

sliding mind state

her fate unbalanced

muddled thoughts

absent logic caught

in cobwebs of stickiness

struggling to escape

unable to string more than

a few pearl words together

holes in thinking

vocabulary sinking

thirst for poetry missing

appetite all but dead

morning musicality gone

lost in a fog of nothingness

yet as dawn broke through today

something else broke through too

i heard a blackbird's sweetest notes

and found my own song too

Reviews

[NoPoetry]

Been reading a few of your poems, connected with this one pretty quick due to how I'm feeling lately. On top of that I love the structure of this, and how the each stanza feels filling while only being a handful of words. The ending left me feeling hopeful. nice work

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you NoPoetry. I appreciate both your time and your visit. All the best.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris, Is this about your mother?
I relate to it..as my mother was there..but not there..and it was so difficult..
Wishing I still had her around to share things with..
Great line..
And found my own song too
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Lisa. My own mum's torment now over while we are left to grieve. So appreciate your thoughts. You take care.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

‘Thirsty for poetry missing’. Ugh, what a real feeling. This poem would speak to any writer, but especially to poets a feel. Having used to write more stories than poetry, the writers block between them is kind of different, or maybe it’s just me. When we can’t get poetry out, it’s like we literally crave it. But hey, at least it got you a great poem here! This is beautiful and the last stanza is absolutely amazing. I love how the ending of it is the ray of sunshine, the silver lining. I find that many times when my writers block finally leaves, it’s due to something or someone else, like a bird or something in nature. Thank you so much for sharing this piece, it’s definitely going in my favorites (:

[Chris Shaw]

Sorry for late response Vertigo Cat, yes this piece is about both writers block and also about dementia in a loved one. I so appreciate your thoughful response. My mum has now been released from her torment, earlier this month. Maybe my writing will come back soon. All good wishes.

Chris

[Vertigo Cat1111]

That’s absolutely wonderful news. All good wishes to you as well. (:

[Relic]

I've been there. I've seen my father's thoughts fail mid-sentence, so this is like retracing my past. I'm glad to see you ended on a positve note. That's not easy to do.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Tim. My mum has now been released from her torment. We lost her earlier this month. There is some comfort to be had in knowing she is a free spirit whoie we mourn her passing. All the best to you.

Chris

[Relic]

You have my condolences Chris. After the end of last year I can certainly identify with you.

[Veracity_Fiction]

This is a fantastically evocative poem. Your use of metaphor makes it easy to imagine everything you described, even if it's painful to do so. Our hearts go out to you and your mother - I hope you find peace with the processes that are at play, and that you continue to look for the silver linings even when the clouds are dark.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks for your kind and thoughful response. My mum passed shortly after I wrote this poem, earlier this month. While we mourn her passing, it is a comfort to know she is no longer suffering. All the best to you.

Chris

[Soren]

A wonderful poem of finding the rainbow in the rain. Nicely worded and with wonderful images, metaphores and generally just a good read all the way around. Loved it!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Soren for your encouraging words. Very much appreciated.

Chris

[DIVYA]

Makes me think of a mind like a worn, tattered piece of cloth, fast giving way with the ravages of time. I feel very sad to read about your mother's deteriorating mental state and I pray God makes it better for you by sending you strength and courage. I loved the beautiful and positive note on which you concluded. Stay strong, my dear friend Chris. You're in our thoughts ❤

[Chris Shaw]

Dear DIVYA, thank you for your supportive and encouraging review. My apologies for my late reply. Trying to come to terms with the loss of my mum who died earlier this month., shortly after I posted this poem. Take care dear friend and all the best from across the pond.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

I saw the horrors of dementia many times during my working days. This well rhymed piece describes them well. I really liked that last verse, though. Even in the midst of pain, the beauty of life is ready to reveal itself. Though now we do see through a glass, darkly, the bigger picture is always there.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you JTB, apologies for my late response. My mum died shortly after I posted this piece. Released from her torment now. All the best.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

Please accept my condolences, Chris. Death is not really the worst thing that can happen to us.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much John. You are right, dementia and its awfulness is worse than death. My mum often told me she wanted to die. She is at peace now and in a way I am too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

dealt with dementia, both parents, and hate it.
I love the sound of a blackbird's sweetest notes...hope I never forget.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you J, always for your encouragement and support. May the blackbird continue to sing for you my friend.

Chris

[Unspoken poet]

Wonderful write here about losing memory,
it's hard to see other's slip away like that.
glad to see you post a new write.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Unspoken. My mum now released from her torment. All the best to you.

Chris

[M. J. Smith]

One day, I fear, I will stand where you are. Already, Mama forgets what she needs on shopping trips. Stories and lessons she gave me, recipes I learned from her, she doesn't remember. She's barely seventy. Sad. She has fought so hard to live life on her terms. And slowly, her knowledge and memories are slipping away.
All I can do is watch. Time and Fate are too cruel. An important write here. But almost too sad to read.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you MJS. It certainly is hard to watch the decline of a much loved one, my mum now released from her torment. Aging sucks unfortunately for many. You take care.

Chris

[M. J. Smith]

May the Holy Virgin watch over you. And may Our Lord bless and keep you, my friend.

[Chris Shaw]

You have a beautiful soul. I thank you for your warmth of spirit.

[M. J. Smith]

It is I who thank you. In a world filled with ugliness you leave beauty. Where another would find only words if futile hate for God, you find peace. I can only hope, when my day comes, to be a fraction of the example you have set. Thank you, my friend.