A Journey To Nowhere

(more holes in thinking, the tragedy of dementia)

Auntie

.

your accusations fly sky high

grounded on false reality

they hurt feelings

.

a crossroad looms ahead

i appear to have fallen

through cracks in your memory

.

who am i apart from

someone vaguely familiar

where is your absent niece

.

do you think you are abandoned

she sits beside you

as she dines on verbal abuse

.

with a lashing of the physical

thrown in for added measure

unpalatable food

.

not quite knowing what to do

she hasn't yet mastered 

the new you

.

the fare on the spring menu

not to her taste

it reeks of spiteful stew

.

where are we going

we are both on a journey

to a dead end 

Reviews

[Neville]

the fact that anyone at all can create something such as this, so meaningful and poignant out of just words (the tools of our craft, so to speak) speaks volumes for poetry & also the individual that made such a remarkable job of crafting them into a thing of literary beauty and from their personal insight into life's huge stash of nasties that sadly lay ahead and waiting for so many of us and our loved ones .. is truly something special ...................... if I had one with me now, I would take my hat off to her .. Neville

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Neville. Sometimes stuff just turns up from nowhere. Needless to say the timing here was all wrong, but on a happy note, it is sorted. Auntie is happy and loving her niece again in her much confused state. Old age is cruel, but she is within easy reach now, about a mile away so I see her more often.

Chris

[W. Barrett Munn]

I hope you get to write more to this when you discover that while you are both might be required to ride the same train you don't have to share the same car. Try to find a car with a skylight and look up at the stars.

[Chris Shaw]

It's a learning curve and you are so right. There are strategies which help alleviate the suffering for all involved. Thank you fir your thoughts. They are appreciated.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

When we are dealing with someone who has any of the brain diseases, such as dementia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc., we must always keep in mind that when they say strange or hurtful things, it is the disease that's talking, not the person.

[Chris Shaw]

Absolutely, and although the situation can't be fixed there are strategies which can help deal with this cruel disease. Thank you John for your thoughts.

Chris

[Patricia]

Oh wow Chris, this is such raw emotion, painful and gripping! Such family bitterness is the hardest to swallow. This is some real gut wrenching poetry. I love the expression in this, positive venting is what I call it when I do it, I don’t get in the mix of family drama anymore, not beneficial to anyone, learned to keep my mouth shut but not my pen. I really have a whole new respect for your writing now, not that I didn’t before but raw emotion really moves me! Well done!

[Chris Shaw]

It is a new experience with my aunt. Her change of personality is a body blow. No use hiding it, write it. That can be therapeutic. Thank you dear Patricia for your continued support.

Chris

[Patricia]

My pleasure Chris :)

[Relic]

I sure am familiar with this subject. My father used to call me a psycho. He didn't believe anything I said to him and he'd scream in the middle of the night as well as the afternoon.

That kind of sickness leaves a scar for family members that have to take of them. I've got some, I know.

Thanks for sharing this, Chris. Hopefully younger writers will be warned for the future should they be so unfortunate to have to take care of a parent in that condition.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Tim for your understanding. You have lived it, so you know how devastating it can be. I think it's better spoken about than dismissed. All the best.

Chris

[Ken Simm.]

I have some experience of dementia and so I find this whole write so true and real. A very cruel illness. To have a life and not know it. With this you lose a person twice. But only after the cruel forgetting the unknowing and the distance.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Ken. It is a cruel disease for both the sufferer and their family. The personality change can be a shock to the system. I appreciate you.

Chris

[M. J. Smith]

My grandmother... Never good enough. Always too loud. Can't have friends around. I should have friends. Gramma make up my mind!
I was just a kid. She died when I was thirteen. And the sad part is, I didn't miss her. She was just a hateful old hag I was glad to be free of. :(
Sad words, my friend. Sad and all too true.

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly dementia can play havoc and this is the case here in my write. You can't use logic when someone has dementia. Sorry about the experience you had with your grandmother. That was tough on a thirteen year old child. At least I have some good memories on how my aunt used to be. Old age sucks. My experience one that is all too common these days. I am not alone for sure.

Chris

[Gee]

That's so sad. The nearest I can come to relating to this is when shortly before mum passed she had a urine infection which completely changed her personality, was a bit of a shock.
It never rains eh Christine !
Hope you are well, or as well as circumstances allow.
Take care

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Gee for your thoughts. It is sad and it is beyond the control of either of us which is sadder still. Old age sucks. You have to deal with what life throws at you. Poetry can be therapeutic. Confessional poetry moreso.

Chris

[Gee]

I'm to busy for old age, that is if 60 deemed old( 30/04 my 60th)am rushed off my feet at work and training for the 500 mile charity cycle ride in France...could well do without the work !

[Chris Shaw]

Ha, 60? You are a youngster :)) Good luck with the training for the charity ride in France.

[Gee]

I'll need an arse transplant when done :)

[Chris Shaw]

Your backside should be beautifully toned while you train. The transplant for after the event :)

[Sami Khalil]

This is sad and injurious to our beloved poet. Some people hide pain and depression and they take it out on others. It also could be jealousy, envy or plain meanness in their spirit. They can't understand that you can catch more with honey than vinegar.
Always know you are a better person than those hateful ones.
A powerful poem with confessions.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Sami. It is sad. She has lost capacity and I don't think she knows who I am. She has no children, I am her closest relative. We are on a journey into the unknown. Poetry can be therapeutic.

Chris

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! Sad indeed. You are welcome.

[Chris Shaw]

A big thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

:).....................

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this hit me in the gut....it is bad enough when someone goes through this with a loved one...when there isn't the attacking...but when there is a visciousness...it's a hundred times worse.
and both are on that tract to a dead end.
Spiteful stew tastes awful.

j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you J. Have to say I hope spiteful stew isn't on the menu too often. It leaves a nasty taste. Thank you for your understanding.

Chris

[Cherrie Palmer]

My grandmother was one of 14. All of them but 2 succumbed to alzhimers it is a terrible curse that robs everyone.
Excellent poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Cherrie. A curse it is and one which can have a devastating effect. I don't think many families escape its cruelty, you know that yourself, sadly.

Chris