Time

As time goes by,

I see the brightness surrounding those dark brown eyes

I see the smile upon my dads stressed face.

But through times I get caught in the daze*

then I get out of it, knowing its just a phase

Not to sound corny or cliché

but time does heal 

cause is real when you miss 

the most important meal of the day

Wisdom

Wisdom is not on how much you know

is how you use it and make it show

cause lil by lil, it stacks up like snow

but this comes with trial&error

that's why most wise words come from elders

but don't worry, this is a young man giving you the deal

cause this is what I feel & time does eventually heal 

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Not to sound corny or cliché
but time does heal
cause is real when you miss
the most important meal of the day
Wisdom

Absolutely. Wise words poetically and wonderfully delivered.

[Jon Roggie]

Liked it! Nice message and lesson combined. Side note edit only if you feel necessary. This is your work!

[Inda]

Very focused and the flow is fantastic, great job!

[Salar Majak]

:) hopefully time heals
this is a really optimistic poem giving hope to people, it really helped :)
it put a smile on my face
i really like your style, it is original and creative
great ink
Aurora

[Kristin Lee]

The over all message of this one is powerful. I agree with some of the other writers, the second stanza needs some edits. Its unclear what your saying is missed. And I would add some sort of punctuation like... after "meal of the day..." to imply its obviously WISDOM. But otherwise you have the foundation of an excellent piece.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite enjoyed the concept of this one; especially the way that you call forth the ideas of strength when you say "not to sound corny or cliche/but time does heal", because we often worry about being cliche or trite, and yet sometimes what is just is, you know? That was probably my favorite stanza.

The message in this one is nice as well..."wisdom", something we should all strive to "know" as deeply as we can. The ideas of trial and error and learning from our elders is beautiful truth.

Technical issues:

Second stanza, 3rd line: cause (it) is real when you miss ?

Third stanza, 1st line: Wisdom is not how much you know (you don't need "on")
Third stanza, 4th line: but this comes with trial and error (if you spell out the trial and error the flow is better)

Overall, a nice write.

[Cassie]

very good poem with a deep message in it. Thank you for the wise words.

[SyberRose]

Wisdom is not on how much you know
is how you use it and make it show

Very nice writing Jason:)

[Sarah Tabuso]

I'm not really a critic of poetry, I prefer prose, but you certainly have a gift and I'm sure that you will hone it in time.

[QuietlyCrash]

I really like this! Great job .