Chapter 1: The plane

Main character is riding plane to Paris and meest supporting character.

As the plane left  ground, I felt my stomach plummit and gripped the arm rest for dear life. "Relax Corrisa!" My mom said in the leather plane seat next to me. But I couldn't. I always feared the worst in everything, and that was not about to stop. 

  

  "Good afternoon ladies and gents, this is your captain speaking! The flight to France will be a long one, so hold tight!" I rolled my eyes. I was the one who didn't need telling. A flight attendant walked down the plane isle, passing out barf bags. I glared as Mom handed me one. 

  "Just think. Uncle Charlie will be so glad we came! After all, it's his big day!" "Mom, I'm sure Uncle Charlie would never fly over the Atlantic just for my big day. You know we both get sick." Mom sighed and shook her mass of auburn curls, the ones I envied. I had been stuck with my Dad's straight, jet black hair. I grabbed the barf bag I had set on the floor and threw up into it. I glanced at the girl next to me as I wiped my mouth. 

  "Sorry, am I grossing you out?" I asked. The girl shook her head. "Nope. My mother's a surgeon. I hear about all the gross things she deals with over dinner every night!" We laughed. This girl was about my age. She was tall and enviously skinny with red hair down her back, parted in a clean side sweep to the left. "What part of France are you off to?" Rather bold, I thought to my self. "Paris," I said rather plaintively. "For my uncle's wedding, He finally decided to get married when I realized I had a fear of hights and motion sickness! What about you?" "My mom has business in Paris with some major new age surgery company. I  don't get into it. I'm Melony Garfunckle by the way!" Melony smiled and stuck out her hand towards me, We shook. "I'm Corrisa Keithler. I'm a 7th grader at Lawson in Cincinnati." "That's cool.I go to Westchester Advanced in well, Westchester!' We laughed and I couldn't help but stare at Melony. She wasn't dressed like any Westchester girl I'd ever seen! She was wearing a Gap t-shirt and denim mini shorts with Old Navy Flip-flops. The only fancy thing on her was a little silver charm bracelet. "What's that?" I asked pointing. "Oh this thing! It was a gift per-say from my great grandmother. She left it to me in her will." Just then, my mom tapped me on the shoulder with a slender finger. I turned as she said "Honey! Corrisa look out the window! It's like a little mini version of the U.S!" I leaned across the seat to look out the window, but quickly regretted it when my stomach lurched. I snagged the barf bag again, and stuck my head in. 

Author's Note

Please review! I want to know if this is any good!

Reviews

[Sseoni]

The first chapter is good. I did see a few errors though. Whenever someone starts talking, you could start a new paragraph.
Example:
"Good afternoon ladies and gents, this is your captain speaking! The flight to France will be a long one, so hold tight!" I rolled my eyes. I was the one who didn't need telling. A flight attendant walked down the plane isle, passing out barf bags. I glared as Mom handed me one.
"Just think. Uncle Charlie will be so glad we came! After all, it's his wedding day!"
The imagery was ok, but the dialogue wasn't realistic. I wish I could've seen more details and descriptions. Overall, it was a good chapter. Don't take the suggestions personal; I'm just trying to help! :D

[Norma M Sutton]

Yes this is a good first chapter. I did see one spelling error, but if that is all that needs changing your first draft/copy is much better then mine are.

[eccath]

K, thanks for the help Panda person! :) Sorry, I'm only 12 and I'm really trying here!

[bonbon7810]

i like it! but i always like what u write! ur a good author