his own house

his own house

 

 

 

a man of age

wisdom filtering out of context

the wrinkles remember,

he doesn't

 

skin tight parables

a Jesus recluse at this juncture

his eyes on fire,

his heart burnt by the torch

he lived with for so many years,

and the smoldering life that makes

him feel trapped,

 

a bonfire of vanity seceding 

from the union of his mind

 

his pride celebrates another year of existence

he only wishes he could recall

what year this is

 

and where the other half of his life

has moved to

 

still he clenches his fist

the emptiness within,

blows out the candle or two of regret

 

holds on to a feeling that no longer

inhabits his heart

but knows better than he

it lived there for nearly a century

 

he sheds a tear

and it extinguishes the last candle

the one he wished upon

to see her again.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/1/16

Reviews

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

I can feel the mood and tone of the speaker. A sense of dispair, tring to fix things that was wrongly done before. I love the last stanza. It captured it all with a vivid imagery. Well done, Sir.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words Onyia-ota,

j.

[Carolynn]

This one really pulls at the heart strings - the elderly go through so many changes, memory fades or disappears altogether...I had a Grandma who lived to be 104! She was an amazing woman and had her wits about her up until her late 90's then it all faded quite quickly but I remember her fondly :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing...wow, 104...a very long life...and i am sure a good one.

j.

[Alisa Js]

It is truly a scary thing when one's mind begins to fade and altogether disappear....

from memory...

from reality....

from life itself.

Very well done, you!

This one is hauntingly riveting...in it's message.

Alisa

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you kindly for your words, Alisa...

j.

[dan]

jacob, a sadly romantic piece that captures the essence of a man whose once clear mind is inhabited now by dementia/Alzheimer's. All of his thoughts, clouded now by an enemy he doesn't rightly know is there, can be directed to a wife long gone (along with most of his other memories). I have a feeling that this piece is written in honor of a relative of yours, uncle or dad, maybe brother? My stepdad is 90 now and gripped by dementia and it is hard to watch a man once brimming with vitality, now a shadow of his former self. I am saving this to my library favorites and I thank you for giving me this poem to treasure. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am so sorry about your stepdad, dan, but yes, watching the transformation is so painful...thank you for your words,

j.

[barleygirl]

Interesting & intriguing, the way you've let us be privy to the way a mind might work at this juncture in life. With many things being written on this topic, yours is one of the most original statements of how it might feel to be in these shoes. Great line: "and where the other half of his life has moved to" . . . many such graphic ways to show us, instead of telling us.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, barleygirl....

yes, he just turned 97...so much gone...yet still has that fire inside...

j.

[redzone]

your poem Jacob is so wonderfully written and leaves us sadly looking at a man seeking memories in life wrinkles, and while it is difficult to bare witness to his decline, his wish to see her one more time is heart breaking.... my mom and dad are still alive and in their 90s, and they talk about who should go "first" when they die. But I suspect that it doesn't matter much as the death of one will very shortly lead to the death of the other.... the loneliness of old age combined with the loss of a loved one is often the hardest part of facing life... and he lives in this house of wrinkles, lost memories and burnt out wishes, alone

it is a very touching and powerful poem Jacob, must have been difficult to write and then to share... thank you for both!!

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, ordinarily one goes and the other not soon afterwards...but this sept. it will be two years since Mom passed at 92...and he is still hanging in there at 97...tough old bird.

thanks for your words..

j.

[redflutterby]

This touches me deeply. Your words reflect the loss of love and life's possibilities so well. I've missed reading your writing. Hope you've been well!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, red, and yes, been doing fine...hope the same for you.

j.

[redflutterby]

Much better than I was. Loss changes everything but life goes on. Haven't written in some time. But feeling the itch lately. Lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

writing is such excellent therapy...glad you are feeling it again....

j.

[EileenMarie]

As I watch my mom slowly creep into this phase of her life I try to remember when.
Very relatable. You used descriptive words that leave the reader feeling the emotion of this emotional piece.
Thank you for sharing :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and sharing how you relate, EileenMarie...

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

With age, memory fails him. Man tends to forget. Even those people who were the reason of his existence are total strangers.
But he still "holds on to a feeling that no more inhabits his heart".

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Shabeeh.....
j.

[aLittlePain]

Romantic, moving...sad. Reminded me of the greatest man I ever knew my Koro (grandfather). I choked up alittle reading this my feelings escaped my eyes...sigh.

Really beautiful Jacob.

Ngā mihi maioha (warmest regards)
Rach x

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for sharing your feelings to this poem, Rach...

j.