slipping past midnight

slipping past midnight

 

 

i spilled my dreams 

all over your blue dress,

and you became Cinderella

wondering why your prince

was so clumsy,

and full of shortcomings

and why the clock ticked toward midnight

 

and you couldn't wait for the carriage to turn back into a pumpkin

and the horses heads to lean toward eternity

because you felt being with me was an eternity

on earth,

 

and then you picked up your broom

to sweep me away,

 

not realizing you had swept me 

totally off of my feet

 

and that you had left my glass heart

in the carriage,

 

so that i could never retrieve it

in this fairy tale life

 

that has no ending.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/11/16

Reviews

[Ruth]

Such a splintered dream and one that left me feeling such a hollow. You truly are an inspiration Jacob, your words are always a journey and pause for me :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kindness, Poppy.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Sharing your dreams with another person is scary because often the other person does not share the same dreams. In my experience, Prince Charming often turns out to be Prince Charmless. A fractured fairy tale for sure. I enjoyed it. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that..Prince Charmless...

thank you, Lydi.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

The manifest problems of the whole Cinderella experience, ably expressed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, W.k.

appreciate your read and comment...

j.

[barleygirl]

I love this playful series of imaginings stated in terms of the Cinderella myth. The first stanza is very creative & visual & thought-provoking. I also really love the "picked up your broom" couplet, plus the next two. The narrator's feelings of inadequacy & clumsiness in love are palpable.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl..

j.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Everyone can feel the depth that lies in this poem. Good comparison and good use of irony. Love is already ultimate, powerful and beautiful, when one puts in comparisons, everything is taken to a further level. This poem is just brilliant. Keep writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vatsal,
j.

[Bacchus]

Somehow I get the feeling that this fairy tale
can only happen in your spilled out dreams...
this tale is a romance that is hard to read
because we feel for you... and somehow her too.
not sure who is missing out... her not claiming you
or you not moving on to another princess.
leaves the reader in a tough spot.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Bacchus...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:( damn! let's go out for a shot and a beer sir! ;)
at first i am reminded of the short ...er...comings of a certain President ... and that gosh darn dress .. but as i continued ...its only a faerie tale ...or is it?? the glass heart in the carriage rips me to pieces ... i could not feel more helpless and broken hearted :( so well done from my perspectives
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, E.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Someone I know got in trouble in fairyland. May I suggest some pumpkin pie for a well deserved poet?

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, pumpkin pie is good...mmmm

thanks, Al.

j.

[RomaJ]

Sometimes I wonder "if happily ever after" is a myth. But then I wake into reality. Striving for perfection is a never-ending quest. It's pointless and can lead to disenchantment. In wanting to "improve" our partner, the relationship; we end up weakening the bond we wish to strengthen. Perfection is a flaw in itself, It is not a reflection of a significant other. Once we come to a realization, we are both perfectly imperfect happily ever after, just seems like it's not long enough.

Lovely write J. I loved the imagery. It could've been a beautiful dream, with a happy ending, if Cinderella just laughed and dance the night away.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

if only she did dance...good perception, RomaJ
and thank you for your the visit and insightful words...
j.

[RomaJ]

You're welcome j. Your poetry and metaphors are amazing. It's always a pleasure to read you.

[Leslie Philibert]

Fine poem. The tension between the known theme and the personal relevance is done very well, clever
work indeed, and I like literary interpretation like this. Excellent.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Leslie.

j.