racing the vein

racing the vein

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


racing the vein

 

 

 

bleed extravagant

curtsy to the trickle of pain pouring slowly

hearts do not have reptilian skin

insults and goodbyes slither coldly 

beneath what we have left,

 

find our strife to bind us

to the headboard

sleeping on wanted posters

she is a lovely suspect

the knife isn't real

 

but sorrow shines off its blade.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/6/21

© 2022 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

I loved every word, but somehow, I wanted the last two lines to be together, and separate from the rest (?). Hmm, I'm never going to understand this style. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

They need to be separate...free verse finds its own way. There is a major pause before the last thou.. read more
JE Falcon

2 Years Ago

No, thank you.
That last line is a beauty “ but sorrow shines off it’s blade” a perfect line that lingers after the write is read almost like it has opened a wound and now it’s a scar. As Gene would say. “ powerful stuff says I”

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

I appreciate your insight, andrew,
j.
loved that 2nd stanza a lot, this is powerful and i love the imagery

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your kind words, beckie,
j.
Kim S.

2 Years Ago

not a problem, you are very talented
Your imagery is wonderful, vivid and provoking of much thought. I read this poem several times and each time found something new. This poem ranks high much as did your poem "poem" which is one of my favorites. I love your conciseness

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your kind review, Soren,
j.
WOW, deep write here,
Love what Ted said...
This is really brilliant poetry. love this

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your very kind words, Kesch,
j.
"If you cut me ... do I not bleed?"

Sorrow does not shine from a rusted knife
less damage is done with a well-honed blade
strife will bind us ... if not to the headboard ... then to each other
that lovely face we once dealt with can only be found on the wanted poster of our emotions.

Let us open a vein ... bloody words pour out.

I kinda like this one j. As you may have noticed



Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your kind review, Ted,
j.
"the knife isn't real
but sorrow shines off it's blade" ... this one takes me in different directions all at once .. i think it is something that is very much especially written just for "them" ... whoever they may be .. our skin .. where all our pain receptors reside ... going in deeper we are quite numb .. cold .... a place of resting reptiles ... not but time to slither around in ... makes me think of "cutters" and their tortured minds, hearts and souls ... only relief is self blood letting ..or worse a psychotic killing spree ... the knife being a very up personal choice of weapon ... wants and disappointments are one in so many cases ... "sleeping on wanted posters" .. killer line says i ... thought provoking .. i see many many ways to think of this one sir ... so you received this lengthy review ... lengthy even for me :)))))))))))))))) luv on ya brother .. as always .. thanks for sharing!
E.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you, Sir E.
I really appreciate your insights on this one...
be safe,
j.
jacob
you are a most talented writer that has found comfort in metaphoric verse that easily paints pictures we associate thru our own visions
but you have dug a rut where you find a comfortable nest in which to lie
your pen is mighty as a sword
the ink within captures emotions unlike so many others
step out of this comfort zone, spread your wings, move away from that which others expect and write that which is most important
the heart has but one function, pumping life giving blood
love, hate, anger, sorrow, all live in the mind where we really live
sorrow, guilt, pity, they are momentary reactions to the unpleasant moments of our lives
move on my poet friend and give your audience truths

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

the truths are in the metaphors, my friend...many truths from many years of life.
thank you,<.. read more
jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

I do see where it seems like a rut, and maybe is, ABG. But it isn't really by choice...I am more of .. read more
keith

2 Years Ago

in life there are really only 2 choices ... fact or fiction, truth or lies, black or white, here or .. read more
Great imagery, great metaphors. I really like this, the emotion that comes when reading this.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

thank you for your kind words, Margaret,
j.
"I asked her to marry me, she smiled
And pulled out a knife
"The party's just beginning,"
she said, "Your money or your life" Last Night Traveling Wilburys

This was in a different vein. Wounds to the heart seldom heal quickly if they heal at all. I enjoyed.

Posted 2 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Fabian, and I really love that group...
and that song.
j.

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Added on January 22, 2022
Last Updated on January 22, 2022

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..

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