old man

old man

capsized intellect

the Poseidon mind has fallen

the weight of age

seeping into the hull

of concentration and accuracy

of thought

a watery countenance

drowns the weary wit

nothing left to mull

shrapnel bits of lucidity

turn the captain's countenance to rage

time to select

a pathway out

from what has befallen

his elusive understanding

his own life

a raft floating away from the wreckage

dementia his oar.

erin-cilberto

7/3/22

Reviews

[Temperance]

Well.....your prolific entertaining writing tells me that you are far from dementia my friend. Of course, we have all known people; family members and friends, who have suffered from that insidious disease. Another great poem from you Mr. j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, my dad in his final months...
it's rough...thank you for your very kind words, Temp.
read moreYes, my dad in his final months...
it's rough...thank you for your very kind words, Temp.
j.

[Temperance]

I'm so sorry you had to witness that. My mom passed from Alzheimer's. So terrible to see them fade away.

[Carola]

great lines jacob, one of your poems that I understand, whoo-hoo!
i do read your poems most of them (for me) are so esoteric their way over my head.
i sure hope dementia doesn't creep into my brain, my mother had it but my father didn't.
I'm told I take after my father, think I do too.
cheerio carola

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Carola,
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

nothing weary about your wits my friend from one old man to another LOL I have always been afraid of this, having always had a processing issue that I continually battled and concealed has made me quite fearful. When I awoke after 7 weeks in ICU I had realized some of these fears, much had to be retaught to me things as simple as putting on my shoes! I would look at objects and know that I knew them but I couldn't tell you what they were? I am slowly returning to the write but it has been a struggle. I suppose that I simply could of said this poem truly hits home but it merited a long convoluted Bunny discourse LOL

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Bunny, I am glad to hear that you are returning to the write...and I just can't imagine the frustration you have gone through...You are a fighter, my friend.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

Again, I think we are all on the same wavelength. Dementia is my recent subject too. I'm going to read your poem to my friend, during one of his moments of lucidity. We'll find out what a mind in the throes of it thinks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I would be interested to know his reply...
my dad suffered from it his last couple years...He lived to almost 98.
My mom suffered a form of it too, but caregivers allowed her to stay in their home.

[William Michael Reeves]

Catching a lucid moment can be like catching a cat. But that moment came. His first word was profound. Capsized intellect caught his attention. The whole poem actually. He was a sailor. Had a sailboat in his youth. He felt that metaphor spoke to him directly. It was kind of amazing. You couldn't have known as you wrote this that someone across the country would have that connection in their lives. Poetic serendipity strikes again!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Wow, yes...that is serendipity.
I am sorry he could relate to the poem so well...it is a very sad thing. But thanks for sharing it with him.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear J, hits home does this one. Can't be many families now who haven't experienced similar. Love the extended metaphor here. A poignant write.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris,
j.

[Katarina]

The last three lines are really poignant and my favourite. Beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Katarina,
j.

[Relic]

Boy, can I relate to this one. I'm hoping I don't sail off into dementia like my father did.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You understand, for sure.
thank you, Relic,
j.

[W. Barrett Munn]

So good it raises questions about naming things - always the question - how much to tell.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Winston...
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Oooh the metaphors pleural plus here love it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie,
j.