In Silent Words

Collaboration with Jack, the Master of rhyme & romance. Thank you so much my dear friend, you raise me up. ♥

In Silent Words

 

I sat upon a cool zephyr waiting for my true love

seasons passed without a tug upon my heartstrings

winter took a fall, within summer's heated grip

spring’s poppies never sprouted their happy essence

 

Here within this day dream my heart it breathes the air

Finding but an empty scene within this prism’d view

Colors bathe my body as so I am much aware

Loneliness my constant friend now waiting here for you

 

i tried  to rise above the sun

the moon kept calling out my name in chant

only darkness danced in the pale of night

i lay my head upon the shoulder of surrender

 

Tears now form the mist a’ drench of all that I do see

Weeping fluent as the moon which falls on me this night

Star light open canopies of gemstones shining free

Blur beneath the vision as my heart does hold this sight

 

to find a sweetness in my own name

Of every season lone of dreaming

love shed a crimson tear in a whisper

In silent words which have no meaning

Reviews

[s y e]

Oh my, wow! This was so..... beautiful! There is so many beautiful, passionate lines in this write guys. For some bizarre reason while I was reading this, the song, You Raise Me Up was playing in my head, haha. I dunno why though.

"Star light open canopies of gemstones shining free
Blur beneath the vision as my heart does hold this sight"

The imagery in this piece was amazing, there was so much. It was a like story came alive on the screen. You guys really aced this piece. The collaboration was great!

Going in my favorites. 100/100

[Frieda P]

So jazzed you liked it farfalle, it's not hard to look good when Jack's got your back. I agree with the line you picked, of course it belongs to the master!

[s y e]

Oh yeah, featured review! Woohoo! :)

Haha, does it? Aaaaah, definitely the master then! :P

[Frieda P]

Oh Yay...and yes, the master! ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

well answer because you are blonde!

[s y e]

I haven't a scooby what you mean John...

[beautiful dreamer]

it not the orignal scooooby its the fake inflatible scooooby! lol i'll explain myself in pm's

[Rogue]

You can definately see a touch from both of your hands in this piece.
Very well done collaboration. :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Rogue, we meshed well together. :-)

[Tate Morgan]

The 4th stanza Jack and Freida stands out to me . The beat is the thing I always look for the inner beat of the music playing in the piece. I have only done one collaboration myself. As a weed among flowers I can only say I dont have any expertise in this But it sounds great to me.

[Frieda P]

Oh who asked you Tate....of course that's Jack's! Thanks anyway... ;-)

[Tate Morgan]

Yes it was jack who asked me to look at it .Did you not want me to read it?Whats jacks ?

[Frieda P]

Lol, the 4th verse of course...and yes, I'm thrilled that you read it, just pulling the Tate's leg.

[Tate Morgan]

lol thanks i thought you were hitting me in the head lol

[Frieda P]

Well that too ;-P

[Tate Morgan]

Well i have a hard head

[Frieda P]

I know.

[Tate Morgan]

But i also have a very soft Heart!

[Frieda P]

Awh....I'll take your word for it.

[Rita L. Sev]

Just gorgeous imagery in this piece - I am blown away. This line: "Spring’s poppies never sprouted their happy essence" - so melancholy, sets the tone for the rest. Love the concept of "laying your head upon the shoulder of surrender". The last line, too, so full of depth. I can see in this poem, Frieda, your wild passion, and Jack's cool hand to temper it. Well done, both!

[Frieda P]

Doing the happy dance, thanks Rita!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hmmm not one to collaborate unless the elixier is mixed my lady. Maybe it works but it lacks your usual passion!

[Frieda P]

Are you comparing it to the kraken dear John....thanks for your thoughts.

[Emerald Seas]

Stunning, Frieda. Longing for love felt, and the imagery portrayed within these lines gives the reader pause. I think it is difficult to love and lose. I wonder which is worse, to know love yet not have it reciprocated, or to never have felt loves grasp at one's heart at all. I think.... the former is down right horrible as the latter doesn't know what they are missing. Profound.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much Dear Sera. We truly appreciate your kind words.

[Emerald Seas]

Oh, how cool! I didn't realize it was a collaboration. You two make beautiful words together! :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sera, glad you enjoyed our collaboration, it was truly an honor to work alongside Jack.

[emmajoy]

Collaborations can be disastrous but this flows very smoothly, alternating stanzas each with its own voice and emotion. Won't select a favourite phrase or stanza. that would be unfair. Many thanks for inviting me to review, Jack

[Frieda P]

You're too sweet Emma, it's fine, Jack is amazing, you can pick one of his lines, I'll only pout a wee bit lol...seriously, thanks so much, thrilled you enjoyed it xo

[emmajoy]

Pleasure.. but no, not choosing. :)

[Jack...]

Can I pick one?

[emmajoy]

If you're asking me, feel free. If Frieda, better ask the boss! :)

[Jack...]

I lay my head upon the shoulder of surrender, is my fav.

[emmajoy]

Now which of you wrote that line .. would serve for both!

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

merged into each other like milk and cocoa
where does she begin...where does he go?
i still dunno

[Frieda P]

Good to know kiddo, I'll tell you a secret we melded together, I still can't get him unglued ;-P

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

ooooooohhhhhh

[Baby Ricochet]

Beautiful collaboration. Outstanding work

[Frieda P]

Thanks Mark.

[David Scott]

I enjoyed the change in format and tone from your pen Frieda. You did not lose any of your creativity and flare in the attempt. A poem of pure emotion if I take the last line to heart. Can anything be thought that carries no meaning? Can even the knowledge that words are not spoken carry as much meaning as if they were? They may lack full understanding or proper comprehension, but they do carry meaning... in my humble opinion. ;)
Loved it as always Frieda P.
Great write.

[Frieda P]

As always an elegant and insightful response from you dear friend, thanks so much, really happy you enjoyed this one. x

[LadySoDivine]

Wonderful collaboration! I love the fact that I can clearly see which part is Jack's and which is yours, Frieda, and yet it still looks so beautiful as a whole and well put together. Excellent poem, truly :)

[Frieda P]

That was Jack's idea, I just sent him my lines, and he finished it off, I think it worked too, thanks for the visit & review LSD, much appreciated.