a sad rainbow

a sad rainbow

A Poem by Shapirta
"

a poem on a sad rainbow please read and review!

"
Have you ever seen a sad rainbow?
with the colors of depression?
have you seen a sad rainbow?
that gave you a sorrowful impression?

Have you ever seen a sad rainbow?
made of black, white, and grey?
have you seen a sad rainbow?
which made you heavyhearted all day?

no you have not seen a sad rainbow.
because they're only here for happiness.
you have not seen a sad rainbow.
for they are just fabulous.

© 2014 Shapirta


Author's Note

Shapirta
please review! i want to know what you think!

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Reviews

This piece has so much heart and feeling

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shapirta

9 Years Ago

thanks, laurie!
The ending was unexpectedly happy, which was a wonderful touch. It started out so melancholy, so I thought perhaps there was such a thing as a sad rainbow. But they only come when the rain is waning and the sun is shining through, so you are very right, they are really just meant to be happy. Really beautifully penned my young friend!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shapirta

9 Years Ago

thanks, ashira! and awesome! it was meant to give that effect! first person who got it!
Ashira Macy

9 Years Ago

So glad to hear it! =D
Shapirta

9 Years Ago

awesomesauce!
This is just fantastically adorable. The only things I would change are:

"dull colors of depression" to "the colors of depression" so it's not so repetitive
and "for they're purpose is happiness" to "because they're only here for happiness"

If you don't agree with these that's totally fine, this is just my opinion and I'm clearly not an expert. Overall though, this is a pretty great little poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shapirta

9 Years Ago

actually, i will change it. thanks for the idea!
Grace Marie

9 Years Ago

No problem, glad I could help :)
it's full of air and happy. i can almost see right through it. it's a compliment.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shapirta

9 Years Ago

thanks, waconda! =)
Hey Amy!

First of all, the ending was very cute and, given how exhausted I am today, brought a smile to face--I really appreciated it! The rhyming scheme is very smooth and, for me, the appeal of this poem is in its simplicity.

Nicely done and thank you for sending me the request!

MusicManiac

Posted 9 Years Ago


Shapirta

9 Years Ago

thanks! and your welcs!
Rich13White

9 Years Ago

Perhaps melancholy but I love the idea of a black, white and grey rainbow. Congrats its beautiful!!!
Shapirta

9 Years Ago

thanks so much! can you also read 'the silver necklace'? it is my favorite peice of writing, and i w.. read more

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562 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 7, 2014
Last Updated on September 7, 2014
Tags: poem, sad, rainbow, sad rainbow, happy, dull, depression

Author

Shapirta
Shapirta

dude hi!, NY



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i recently turned eleven, and for as long as i can remember, have always loved writing. haha wow. now im 12. time flies.. more..

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