Chapter 7: Alive

Emily meets someone who might make her stay at Hollymore, tolerable.

Emily.

 

Paige likes to talk,

 
the big ball of happiness
just doesn't shut up. I try

to tell her I just want
some peace and quiet

but she never gives me
an chance to speak. I

already have a headache
from my recent battles

with not only Anon, but
now I have another snake

slithering around in my
head and making my life

difficult, Dr. Alcona. I
have fallen into her trap

and the game has begun.
I have to watch my mouth now.

"You are going to
have dinner in

the workroom today,
normally there is no

food allowed in there
but you and a few

others have to eat there
until tomorrow. That’s

when we start group
and you can eat in

the cafeteria with
everyone else."

Oh, joy! Yay! I'd
be accepted in with

the rest of the crazies
and we can all trade

lovely memories and
non threatening secrets.

I am just bursting with
excitement as Paige

opens the door to what
I assume to be the work room.

"The trays are on
the cart, your first and

last name is on a label on
your designated tray.

Don’t touch anyone else’s,
some kids have deadly allergies."

Oh, labels. Just in case Little
Johnny is allergic to cheese.

But what if some kid does the 'ol
switcharoo and changes up a few

labels or someone who is deathly
allergic to peanuts decides

an easy way out is to steal
my peanuts and shove them

down their own throat. Were
they really that insane? Jesus

Emily, cut these kids some
slack, I’m sure most of them

are just like that boy from earlier:
fine, just misunderstood.

I walk into the room and
over to the cart as I had been

instructed. I glance over
at the group

of kids sitting at the table.
There are 4. My eyes

scan the small odd, group.
I later learn their names.

Ginny, a small brunette,
she doesn’t say much.

Another boy Ralph
calls her Ginny the gerbil

because of the way
she nibbles on her food

and shakes with every
movement or sound in

her surroundings. I
wonder if she ever got

through a day of
school without looking

like  she was having
a seizure. Ralph is a big

black guy, always talking
about being so angry he’d

like to teach someone a
lesson. I'm not particularly

interested in his story.
It seems pretty obvious.

He claims to be
14, but we all know he

could pass for a gangster in
his early 20’s. Becca’s existence

doesn’t even occur to me until
the last patient asks her a question.

"Want some of my leftover
pasta?" She is a big girl,

I'm shocked I missed her.
She uncurls herself from

the ball she has formed in
the corner of the room.

Scurrying over she snatches his
plate and then runs back as

though the floor is covered
with hot coals.

"Easy there Bertha,
don’t take my fingers

with you."
Ralph begins to

laugh hysterically,
I chuckle at the sounds

he makes.
The entire group turns to

look to me. I recognize
the last patient's friendly face.

I'm not sure what his name is.
He didn't care too much to introduce

himself while Ralph was telling me
the rest of their names

It's okay though, I'm not here to make
friends.He is the boy who stopped

in the hallway earlier on to remind
me that this isn’t Hogwarts.

He also reminds me of
someone else.

This thought sends
a sharp jolt of pain through

my chest as I connect
their two faces.

"Well, if it isn’t Miss
Harry Potter, sit down,

tell me how your unpacking
went. Hear that guys?

We’ve got a crazy who
thinks she’s Harry Potter."

Ginny glances over through
her curtain of greasy hair.

"S**t girl, I’m still hungry. Can
 you make some fried chicken

appear or something?"
 Ralph hollers. We all

begin to laugh, including
Becca. Slowly we come

closer together until we
are all sitting in a group

at the small table. I am
picking at my pasta and

vegetables when Becca

offers to help me finish.

 I pass my plate over and

watch as she shovels

the food in, not even pausing
to taste it.

"So, Emily why
are you here?"

I look up at the boy, not
sure if I should answer

truthfully or not.
"Oh, come on Liam.

Breaking out the guns already?
I bet its not even interesting.

She's too pretty to be crazy."
I flush at Ralph's words.

Liam. So that's his name. 
A nurse sits nearby, but she

doesn't look the slightest bit
interested in what we are

talking about. She has a
book held firm in her grasp

and looks fairly engrossed
in her novel. So I decide

to tell them. I brace myself
for the reaction.

"I overdosed."
All at once the small group

of lunatics begin to laugh.
I stare, waiting for them to

finish. Did I miss something?
"Whew, I’m sorry.

That’s it? You’re here for
that? And it’s clearly your

first time being admitted too.
Oh sweetheart.

You’re in for a lovely treat."

 

 


 

As the days pass,

that conversation seems to stick in my head.

I don't want a ‘treat’.
I just want to go home.
I don't like Liam.

I don't like his short
blond hair, or his deep
amber eyes.

I don’t like how
he makes the
same sarcastic

remarks, or how he tried to
make me laugh when I
looked miserable.

I hate how
similar he is to him.
I can’t

stand being in
Liam’s presence.
It brings forth too

many emotions that
 don’t need to be
 displayed.

I just want to
be left alone.
Apparently if you

do something
bad enough you
get put into isolation.

But that’s a little drastic,
my mother won’t be proud,
that means no

progression. I’ll
just continue to go
farther down.

Daddy wouldn’t
appreciate it either,
he knows that I'm sane,

he believes me,
he is watching me from
heaven right now,

shaking his head
and saying
My little Em doesn’t

belong in a place
 like that. That’s all

I want now,

 little baby Emmy
just wants
 her daddy. I

want a big bear
hug from him.
 One of those hugs

  that warm your
heart and
turn your insides

 into mush. Those
 hugs that you’ve
been missing for so

  long, craving for ages
 and when you
finally get them it’s like

 you’ve never
 been happier and
 you never will be.

  I want one of
those hugs,
just one last hug

from my hero.
 See he was my hero,
not theirs.

It’s not fair,
he wasn’t
meant to help everyone,

just me and mum.
It sounds truly
 selfish.

but it seems as
though everyone
I ever loved is not allowed

to stay alive.