Chapter 1

  

Chapter 1

 

Oh, this is just great. Another F. Wonderful. Another addition to my oh so perfect life. Mom’s gonna freak. That’s just what I need.  Christine stuffed her Geometry test into her bag. School is so pointless. I should just drop out. I’m sixteen. Yeah, who am I kidding? Mom would never go for that. Torment is her specialty. She watched the people converse about their plans. Without a moment’s hesitance, Christine left the classroom without a word to anyone. In her opinion, getting to know someone was setting yourself for the worst disappointment in your life. Christine liked being alone. She didn’t need anyone. Plus, it’s not like her life was all that great anyway.

            Her mom, Helen Carter, was the most talked about woman in Newport, California. Her dad, Evan Carter, a wealthy businessman, was never really home. Helen was constantly driving Christine crazy. When people were present, she actually acted like she cared about Christine. But behind closed doors, Helen was way too obsessed about herself and what was going on in the gossipy town of Newport. Not that Christine cared. She didn’t want her ignorant parents anywhere near her. As far as she was concerned, they didn’t exist. And that was all right with her.

            Walking up the driveway to her dreaded destination, Christine opened the glass doors to her beautiful house. Her mom was sitting at the counter, talking on the phone. Most likely about Newport’s psycho of the week. Christine walked up the spiral staircase to her fortress. She loved everything about her room. Black walls, spider web designs on the wall, red sheets, and best of all, a fat lock on her door to keep all things evil out. Christine was what her generation would call emo. She wasn’t suicidal; her life was just pointless. At least it never got boring. If she was dead, there’d be absolutely nothing to do. Christine brushed her long blonde hair and took off her black sweatshirt, revealing a black tank top. Her green eyes glittered with bitterness as she thought of her stupid math test. She hated math. English was more what she cared about, well, writing anyway.  Her effort in school was limited, but she didn’t care. 

            Christine sat on her bed and took out her diary, black as usual. So Diary, here I am. Another day, time wasted. My mom is driving me crazy. She wants me to be a social butterfly, just like she was. It’s funny how I became the social outcast. Dad is never home. Even if he is, he and Mom are usually fighting. I’m just waiting for the day when they divorce. It wouldn’t matter though. I don’t like either of them. I’m pretty sure they don’t like me either. Jess comes home soon. Mom flew her out to Paris, so she could be a model. I really wish she’d just stay there. Like I need another problem.  David keeps calling. He’s starting to scare me. He keeps apologizing, but I can’t forgive him.  He was the only person I felt like I could trust. I gave my heart to him and he ripped it out. I really thought he understood me. He supposedly cared about me. He took everything from me. I remember it like it was yesterday.

            David and I had gotten into a fight. He cheated on me. He tried to apologize, but I wouldn’t hear of it. I told him that I trusted him, that I loved him. He said he loved me too. I left him standing there and ran home. The following night, he came to my door. Mom and Dad were out that night. When I opened the door, I knew that he had been drinking. He told me that he was going to drink himself to death if I didn’t forgive him. I didn’t want that, so I brought him upstairs to lie down. David was really drunk. He launched into this big apology and told me that he loved me and that I was the only one for him. I still loved him, even though he had cheated on me. He leaned over and kissed me, whispering in my ear how sorry he was. He kept kissing me and pushed me back on the bed. I told him that I wasn’t ready, but he kept pushing. Christine’s eyes began to tear up as she remembered what happened. He wouldn’t stop…I tried to scream, but he pulled a knife out of his back pocket and told me that he would kill me if I didn’t give in. I saw the deranged look in his eyes and knew that he was serious. There was no way I was getting out of that alive. So, I gave in.  Tears streamed down her face as her eyes burned with hatred. Before he left, he threatened me that if I told anyone, he would kill me. I haven’t breathed a word of this to anyone. That was two months ago. Every time I see him, sheer terror washes over me. He narrows his eyes at me. He raped me. 

            Suicide had come to mind then, but disappeared when she realized that she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. There was no reason for her life, but killing herself was out of the question. Christine basically walked around like a zombie, barely aware of her surroundings. Life was meaningless, but she still held on. Christine closed her journal, and put on Hawthorne Heights. She listened to the lyrics.

 

So cut my wrists and black my eye

So I can finally sleep tonight

Because you killed me

You know you did

You killed me well

You like it too and I could tell

You never stop until

My final breath is gone

 

David. One day, he’ll pay for what he did to me. Christine gritted her teeth. A loud knock sounded on her door. “What do you want?” she asked rudely.

            Helen jingled the door. “I want you to unlock this door, right now.”

            “Fine.” She got up and unlocked the door. Helen opened it.

            “So, your sister  is coming home. Aren’t you excited?” She asked smiling.

            “Ecstatic.” Christine replied without any emotion, arms folded. “Did you just come up to tell me that?”

            Helen shook her head. “No. How did you do on your Geometry test?”

            “Do you even care?”

            “What do you mean? Of course I care. What kind of mother do you think I am?”

            Christine rolled her eyes. “Don’t think you really want me to answer that,” she mumbled.

 “Excuse me? What was that?” Helen asked, eyebrows raised.

            “I failed it.”

            Helen sighed. “Well, what’s new? I can’t expect much from you.  Why don’t you just clean up Jess’s room? Oh and by the way, you're grounded.”

            Christine stared at her. “From what? I don’t do anything.”

            Helen thought for a moment. “Hmm, good point. I guess, you can go to the Newport Dance.”

            “Oh God, Mom! Anything but that!” Christine wailed.

            Helen grinned deviously. “I guess we’ll have to go shopping for your dress. I’m thinking pink and poofy.”

            Christine narrowed her eyes. “Just get out.” Helen left laughing.

            I swear, she’s evil in heels.  The Newport Dance. Everybody who is somebody goes. Christine just thought it was an excuse for Newport’s richest people to get together, drink wine, and gossip about the town. Christine refused to go to these things. They were a complete waste of time. And now, she was being forced to go. “Shopping is going to be a nightmare,” she groaned, as she threw her red pillow against the wall. She left the room to go clean up “Princess Jess’s” room.

 

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Jess came home that night. Christine watched as the whole scene played out. Jess came home, sunglasses on (though it is night), brunette (dyed) hair perfectly up, and that oh-so-annoying flashy smile. “Oh Mom, I missed you so much!” Jess cried as she threw her arms around Helen.

            “Oh honey, I missed you so much too. It’s just not the same without you.”

            “Where’s Dad?” Jess asked as she broke apart the embrace.

            “You know, held up at the office. He’s sorry that he couldn’t be here for your homecoming. He told me to give you this as an apology.” She held up a diamond bracelet.

            “Well, Dad does know how to give a good apology,” Jess replied grinning. She set down her neon-colored bags and looked over at Christine. “Hey emo girl, what are you wearing? Seriously, I cannot believe you are my sister.”

            “Emo girl? What’s emo?” Helen asked, confused.

            Jess snickered. “It’s just another word for pathetic loser.”

            Christine rolled her eyes. Seeing all this made her want to puke. “Whatever. These are called clothes. Made out of cotton. Didn’t realize Paris made you even more stupid. Actually, didn’t know that was even possible.”

            “Christine, don’t talk to your sister like that.”

            Christine gaped at her. “Uh hello? Did you just miss what she said to me?”

            “She just said that you can’t dress. And honey, I agree with her. You're dreadful.”

            Christine just stared at her. My mom is a complete retard. Somebody get me out of this Barbie Hell. “Screw this. I’m going out.” She pushed past Barbie and left the house.

 

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            Christine walked down the sidewalk, hands shoved in her pockets. She didn’t know where she was going, but she couldn’t be at home right now. God, I hate them. Barbie and Hell Mom. Maybe I could make a comic about them. Barbie, with her evil, manicured nails that could scratch your eyes out. Hell Mom would talk about you so much, you’d wanna shoot yourself. Then there’s Disappearing Dad, who’s never around and ensnares others by dangling diamonds in front of their faces. Ha. That would be funny. It’s just about right. Christine stopped at the park and sat down on a bench. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She turned around. David.

            “Hey baby.” He grinned at her.

            Terror seized her. “W-what are you doing here?” she stammered.

            “Following you. Haven’t you noticed?”

            She nodded. “But why? I didn’t do anything.”

            “Well, you haven’t yet. But something tells me that you're thinking about telling someone about that night.”

            “The night you raped me.”

            He came closer and grabbed her. “Rape is such an ugly word.”

            “Let go of me!” she struggled against his strong grip.

            His grip bit into her wrists, cutting off the circulation. “You think you can struggle against me. You can’t defy me. You're nothing without me. You have no one. No one in this world cares about you. You're invisible. I can do anything to you and no one would realize.”

            “You already raped me! What more do you want?” Christine cried out in pain.

            “Do you really want to test me?”

            She saw the glint of metal and attempted to scream. She thrashed about even more, but to no avail.

            “I think we need to remind you what is at stake if you tell anyone.” He made swift movements with the knife. Against her wrist, her leg, and her shoulder. “Now, keep your mouth shut like a good little girl and we won’t have any problems.” David released her. “Now go home.”

            Christine tore away from him and ran all the way home. She raced up the stairs to her room and locked the door. She went into her spacious bathroom and pressed a wet rag against her cuts to stop the bleeding. Looking at herself in the mirror, even more salty tears came down. David had a hold on her. A dangerous one at that. Christine had no choice. He was right. She had no one. Finally, the cuts stopped bleeding. Christine got into her warm bed and fell asleep crying.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Christine woke up to hearing yelling. Sounds like the Gruesome Twosome are at it again. She looked at her clock and groaned. 5:00. Just shoot me. Somebody put me out of my misery please. She got up out of bed and jumped in the shower.  The water stung as it ran down. The soap did too. The cuts were clearly visible. The one on her shoulder was about four inches. The one on her wrist was about three inches. And the last one, on her thigh, was five inches. Well, I guess I’ll wear a sweatshirt and jeans, so no one sees.

 

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Christine sat in her noisy classroom, blankly staring at the wall. She couldn’t care less what her teacher was saying about the lab. “Guys, there are to be no sweatshirts in the lab, because there are dangerous chemicals.” She jerked out of her trance and lifted up her hand. “Mrs. Kiana, did I hear you say we can’t wear sweatshirts?”

            The teacher turned around. “Well, Christine, if you were listening instead of spacing out during class, you would be sure that I did say that. Why does it matter? It’s hot in this classroom anyway.”

            “She wants to hide her cuts!” David called out. Christine turned around. “She’s suicidal.” He started laughing and gave his friend a high-five.

            Mrs. Kiana narrowed her eyes at him. “David, that is not something to joke about. Suicide is very serious. Now, Christine, do you have any more objections, or can I get back to teaching the class? Please remove your sweatshirt.”

            Christine sighed. Wonderful. She slowly removed it as she felt all eyes on her.

            “Whoa, look at that,” she heard somebody whisper.

            “Oh my God, she is a cutter,” someone else said.

            Christine took it off and stared at her teacher, who was obviously staring back.

            “See, I told you!” David said, laughing.

            “David, shut up,” Mrs. Kiana said quietly. “Christine, where did you get those cuts?”

            Christine shrugged. “My cat scratched me. He’s evil.”

            “Those are way too deep to be cat scratches. Christine, could you please come to the back with me?”

            “Whatever.” She got up and walked past David’s desk when he whispered, “Cutter.” How much she wanted to punch him in the face. But, she kept her cool, knowing that she would have to pay later if she did anything. Mrs. Kiana closed the door to her small office.

 

“Christine, I’m worried about you.”

            She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to worry about a few cat scratches.”

            “Christine, you and I know those cuts didn’t come from a cat.” Mrs. Kiana leaned closer. “Are things okay?”

            Christine almost started tearing up. David’s face appeared through the blinds in the window behind Mrs. Kiana. “Don’t say anything or else,” he mouthed. She blinked away the tears. “Whatever you say.”

            Mrs. Kiana had seen that sad look in her eyes, which had suddenly turned to fright. “Well, I’m going to send you to the counselor’s office. I think weekly meetings will do you some good.”

            Christine stared at her. “You're gonna send me to the school shrink?”

            She nodded. “Obviously, there’s something you're not telling. Maybe what you need is to talk to someone.”

            “I don’t need to talk to anyone. I’m perfectly capable of running my own life.” Well, that’s a lie, she thought. “I don’t need you telling me what I need to do. It’s none of your business what goes on in my life.” The bell rang. She got up and left the classroom.

            Tears falling down her face, Christine ran out the prison-like gates of her school. It was pouring down rain. She ran to the park. It was empty. “What did I do to deserve this?” she yelled to no one. “Why me?” She didn’t know who she was yelling to. Maybe to God, if one even existed. If He does, he sure hates me. “Why are you doing this?” she screamed to the unseen God. “I hate you! This is all your fault!” Her tears were pouring as fast as the rain was. She tore at her hair and punched the tree next to her. She kept hitting it, even though her knuckles were beginning to bleed. What are a few more cuts?  

            She finally stopped after what seemed like hours. Her hands were bruised and bleeding. She couldn’t cry anymore because there weren’t any tears left to cry. Christine was drenched. She walked home in the hammering rain.

            When she got to her driveway, she noticed that her dad’s car was there. “What’s Dad doing home?” she wondered aloud. Christine walked up the steep driveway. Her dad was at the door talking to a woman. This didn’t seem normal. Curious, Christine hid around the corner and watched. Her dad seemed like he was happy. Then, to Christine’s shock, he kissed the woman. I don’t even think that’s a grown woman. She looks no older than nineteen! Oh my God! Dad’s having an affair. With a girl! Eww!  Christine could not believe it. That’s why he’s always at the office! Well, I guess it’s not too big of a surprise. He and Mom have been fighting for ages. But why doesn’t he divorce her? Oh, who am I kidding. This crap always happens to me. Christine waited for the girl-woman to leave. Then she watched her dad go back inside.

             She sat there in her driveway, wondering what she was going to do with this bit of information. As much as she couldn’t stand her mom, this was low. Christine did not think her mom deserved it. I’ll just tell him that he needs to cut it off or file for divorce. And if he does neither, I’ll tell Mom. Settled with that decision, she gathered her wet stuff and went inside.

 

            Her dad was in the kitchen. He choked on his water when he saw her. “Christine, what are you doing home? Shouldn’t you be at school?” he asked as he dabbed a napkin against his shirt.

            Christine smiled sweetly. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

            “I happen to have gotten a break. That doesn’t explain while you're not at school.”

            She chose to ignore that last remark. “Wow, I’d think that with all this time you’ve been away from home working, that a break was near impossible. Isn’t that what you told Mom the other night? That there was no way  they would ever give you a break?”

            Evan began to sweat profusely. Does she know?  “Honey, they decided to give it to me today.”

            Christine narrowed her eyes. “Really? Are you sure they're not working you too hard? You're sweating like crazy. Or are you lying?”

            “I don’t know what you're talking about,” he replied tartly.

            “Oh, I’m sure. I guess you wouldn’t know about the girl who left here ten minutes ago then, right?”

            Evan nervously fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket. “Oh, her? That’s just a solicitor. Trying to get me to buy some Avon junk. Does Mom like Avon?”

            Ignoring the question, Christine ventured further. “Oh, was she giving you a free sample of lip gloss, or do you normally make out with every solicitor that comes to the door?”

            “W-what are y-you talking about?”

            “Dad, cut the crap! You're having an affair. I saw you. It explains why you're never home.”

            He gave in. “Christine, you're not going to tell your mother about this, are you?”

            “No.” He sighed in relief. “Not if you end it,” she added.

            “What?”

            “Surely you don’t expect me to live with it on my conscience?”

            “Well, no, but…”

            “I’ll play pretend. But you have to end it or divorce Mom.”

            Evan looked at her. “You want me to divorce your mom?”

            She shrugged. “Frankly, I don’t really care. You guys are no parents of mine. I don’t care what you do. Why do you care what I want anyway? You don’t even know me. You and Mom are terrible parents.”

            “What are you talking about? I’ve given you everything you ever wanted. You never had to do a thing.” Evan did not understand.

            Christine was yelling now. “Not everything is bought with a price Dad! You’ve never acted like a father to me. You’ve never given me a hug goodnight and told me you loved me!”

            Evan sighed. He walked over to her. “I’m sorry, honey. I love you.” He leaned down to give her a hug.

                She pushed past him. “If you think one hug is going to change a life of neglect, you are so wrong!” Christine ran upstairs . She went into her bathroom and pulled out her first-aid kit. It seemed like she was needing it daily. Christine cleaned and bandaged her hands. She looked in the mirror. She saw a sad, angry, sixteen year old a girl with deep cuts on her body and bruised hands. She saw a young girl who came from a world of hurt. Someone who was alone and always would be.  And I’m just going to have to live with that. I might as well make the best of it, she thought ruefully.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Calypso]

Christine reminds me of my self when I was 16 (except I was raped nor did my parents divorce (I wish)).
Great chapter.
It's great that you pulled out all the guns for the first chapter.

[Micah]

I still have the copies you let me borrow XO sorry. but im not giving it back, hmmf hehhe. im keepin it to remember you, becasue you know i would totally forget you if i didnt. lol jk. keep on posting the next chapters everyone loves it!

[Every1s_psychotic_vampy..]

I really liked the first chapter! =] Ill eventually read the rest, haha. Keep writing.

[closed]

Wow I got so into this I absolutley loved it. Very good for a first chapter.

[Helen Woodward]

A good first chapter and lead-in. Your audience would be teen only, this will appeal to them and they will be able to identify with the issues you confront with deliberation. Your narrative is extremely good, I would suggest you consider revising your italic text and only use it for your characters thoughts. Any diary entries should have a new paragraph and be dated (not in italics) The overuse of the girl's name is monotonous so I would suggest you use she/her/the young girl etc; wherever you can. I would change 'gossipy' to 'gossip-driven'
Overall a fantastic effort.
Cheers,
Helen :-)

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

This is a fantastic first chapter. You are incredibly talented, the writing is just amazing. I've been glued to the screen and unable to stop reading. Awesome work!!!

Heather

[Pandy7197]

WOW... you are extremely talented! I relate incredibly to this story! I can't wait to read more! Very well done! Probably one of the best stories I've read in months!