The Moth

Poem inspired by the Story of the Moth or known as 'Ang Kwento ng Gamugamo' in the Philippines

The fire is blazing and burning,
Blinding those little eyes he had.
The fire caught his gaze wandering,
And that turned him restless and mad.

He neither slept nor waited.
He never wasted any second.
He flew directly into the lamp lighted,
Into the fire that is once a legend.

However, something stopped him,
He remembered his Mother telling,
"Do not go near the fire no matter how lovely it may seem,
for it will turn you into dust falling."

Yet curiosity struck his mind,
He wanted to know what is there beyond the light.
But he suddenly felt something from his behind,
His wings are now flaming in the stillness of the night.

"Oh Mother Moth! I am so sorry!"
The child moth uttered before he turned into ashes.
No one helped him; no one heard about all his plea,
For the night was surrounded by tranquility.

Author's Note

Hope you like this. :)

Reviews

[Meallea Pomorette]

I know this story very well... It was always used by my grandmother to scare me back then... The way she used it clearly says "Mother knows best. You better follow or you'll end up in the middle pf nowhere."... Now let's not talk about it... It's giving me the creeps...
I must admit that curiosity gets us into trouble but sometimes it's our way of looking for the answers...

"The fire caught his gaze wandering,
And that turned him restless and mad."
This part reminds me of the mad scientists in the animes that I had watched...

"For the night was surrounded by tranquility."
The ending is much better that before..

I see no problem with the flow..
Job well done!!!

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank yowww! :D

[Meallea Pomorette]

No problem...

[Jo March]

I like the parental theme, and the smooth flow makes it sounds very innocent. Lovely

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank goodness you loved this! :)

[David Scott]

I like the story here. Well told and very clear in your writing. This would be a good children's poem. On a deeper note... Shall we define "disobedient"? Life does have a way of "cause and effect" reality being taught in daily doses. However, if we disobey gravity with the proper forthought their is not tragedy but triumph. We can fly! If we just jump off a cliff... well that is tragedy. My own path is one of constant "disobedience" and I suffer for some of it and I learn and grow and become more than I would ever have been as well...
I know that is not what you were saying here, but your poetry brought this line of thought to me.
Loved the poem!
Be well.

[Lunette Lariz]

Thanks!! I'll revise this one because I was in such a hurry when I thought of the words I wrote on the last stanza. :)

[David Scott]

Oh no... I liked the way you had it. You made a statement that was both true and at the same time overstated. It made the reade think and take pause and it sounded strong. This is Ok too, but it soes not make me want to engage in a discussion. Controversy and questioning is good stuff. Disobedience is a good trigger word and it means very different things to different cultures and times in history. I would put it back the way it was if I had a vote. I loved it! Like I said before. :-)

[Hamza]

the last line is true .. very true .. but i'm sorry to say it won't fit in the poem that well ..
the poem is something about curiosity and is presented in an excellent manner
but, the ending should have been somewhat like 'forbidden fruit is always the sweetest" .. and it lands us in tragedy ..
disobedience and curiosity are two different things i suppose ...
otherwise .. 10/10

[Lunette Lariz]

Oh, thanks for that share of info. I appreciate it a lot. And for the rating! :D

[Hamza]

:)