March 793

March 4th
I apologize, my dearest friend, for having been so dull. Nothing has happened worthy of mention before today. I have been spending my days sitting with Fran in the kitchen as she talks about her childhood in the motherland, and about the crazy inventions her father dreamed of before he passed. I try and ask questions about the preparations and such, but she only laughs, saying "Food can not described, it must be experienced!" I suppose I shall go to town and buy a book on cooking and teach my self.

Mother had decided that she will teach Rosalie all the things that are needed so that Rosalie can be my personal hand. This is wonderful, as I will have someone I can trust entirely, Well, aside from you, this is. 
Mother seems so much stronger, perhaps the doctor is wrong and she will recover.
We can hope, my dearest friend. We can always hope.



March 12th
I decided that I could take the confinement no longer and decided that I was going to the shore. There is no place on earth more peaceful. However, as I made my way down stairs I could hear father.He was quite aggravated by something, it seemed it was business related. I decided that my luck was already out for the day, so I returned to the solitude of my room. Mother and Rosalie have been her room for a week now, so aside from Fran I have really had no one to talk to. Edgar has been kept on his toes as father seems to think the world is ending. I tried to listen in the other day as he was receiving the messages from one of his trade ships, but I can't understand the sounds. I had hoped to be able to read the tapes, but he burned them. I have decided to study the codes that the machine uses. I want to know what it is that has father so agitated.



March 13th 
Father left before we were even served breakfast this morning, he was in a fir of rage at some news that Edgar reported. As Edgar turned to follow I asked him what could be happening. He frowned and shook his head, saying that they would not likely be back until tomorrow, as they had business at Port Ganderu. 
I have been to Ganderu only once, it is many times the size of Eaux Reves, and the harbor holds well over a hundred and fifty ships, where our port is doing well to hold twenty five, not that I have ever seen so many. I suppose it is natural though, as we are on the back of the island, and facing away from the main shipping lanes. There is even a Navy office in Ganderu!
I asked Edgar if it would be possible for me to go along, but he shook his head. I could tell by his expression he was not looking forward to this trip.

I spent the rest of the morning in my room looking for a form of entertainment. Something to amuse me, finally I heard the carriage so I slipped down into father office. If a message came through then perhaps I cold read it and finally learn what was going on.

I sat and watched it for a long time, well after lunch. I was about to give up and go ask if I could take dinner in the kitchen when it began clicking and whirring. Finally! 
It was a sound I had heard many times before through the doors of fathers office. I had even seen if spitting out it's tape of tiny words, though I had never payed attention. 
It infuriates me how complacent I was, and I can't help wondering what happened to change me...

Anyways, The words are in some kind of code, but I think I can decipher it, so I have copied it here to study later.

.--. .. .-. .- - . ... / ....- ....- / -. --- - / -- .. .-.. . ... / ... --- ..- - .... / --. .- -. -.. . .-. ..- / ... 



March 19th
I spent the day with mother. She is doing so much better! She said she gave Rosalie a couple days off that she should go see her family. I asked how much longer Rosalie would be in studies, but mother said that upon her return she would be attending to me, and me alone. 
I asked mother why she didn't have a personal hand. Mother only smiled. She said she did, that I was just not old enough to remember it. I asked what happened, but she only shook her head and said that nothing in life can last forever. That when you truly love someone it is the best thing you can do, sometimes, to let them go.

Sometimes mother confuses me so much.

She assured me that she no longer needed someone, as there had been a nurse there to attend to her for the past seven years, and now she had two nurses and a doctor there to attend to her, so there was no need to have anyone else. Somehow I feel like that is not the case, but I suppose she will never tell me. She has a way of keeping her secrets.



March 22
I talked Fran into letting me help in the kitchen today. She had me measuring out the flour for tonight's rolls. I also wanted to help wash the potatoes. She laughed at me as I was shocked by how much mud came off. Who new so much work went into preparing food! I told her that I hoped father payed her enough, surely she could be nearly rich by now.

She only laughed harder and then hugged me, nearly crushing me.
I think tomorrow I will learn about the carriage and the horses. I never knew so much went into maintaining a house!



March 23
I slipped into the stables just after lunch. I wanted to learn to saddle and bridle my horse on my own. I am tired of everyone taking care of me. I can't stop thinking about what Ferron said to mother, that no one is better then anyone else unless they can prove their merit before their peers. Well, perhaps others are not better, but I am sure that as needy and helpless as I am, I have become worse.
Alder came around the corner wiping his hands on a cloth and asking if I needed one of the ladies saddled. I asked what he meant by ladies, and he said that the two that were best for riding were both girls. I knew the horse I have been riding was Stern, and that Lydia's was Mond, but I had never given any thought to it at all. 
I said I was actually wanting to learn more about them. He grinned and asked if I could give him a couple of moments to get is bits in order (I have not the slightest what that would mean) and... Well, the exact way he said it was;
"Give me a minute or two and I'll get my bits together, then I'll be good to do whatever the lady pleases."
I stared at him dumbfounded. I have heard Ferron say some unusual things. And I never know what Ghost means, even Rosalie started in her home language when I went on the roof... But nothing has ever been so confusing as hearing Alder talk. I can't imagine how Rosalie follows what he is saying. I was convened I was talking to the wrong person so I asked him if he was Alder. He said, and I quote; "I ain't never been another, so I suppose that's who I'd be." See how confusing he is? 
He is quite attractive, I must admit. His blue eyes and blond hair, pared with his friendly and welcoming nature made it hard not to like him. But I can't understand a single thing he says!

I followed him into the carriage house where he had the carriage all disassembled and laying out on sheets. I was fascinated. The inside of the carriage was so complex. I forgot about the horses and asked him to explain it. I am writing down what he told me as best as I can remember, so that perhaps someday I can get it translated. I am thoroughly convinced that he is not speaking in our same tongue.
What he said, is as follows;

"Well miss, I's a good bit surprised that ya be knowing my name, much less wanting to know about my works. But they sat that's the mark of the great ones, being that they always be learning. Anyhows. Where's we to be beginnings. Well, is been a bit in the rattling and the mister wants it nice and smooth. So I popped these here rivets out the divots and pulled off the end caps. You see, this here piston is always being pushed back and there again when the water gets to be steaming. There's a like one on the other side working in the opposites. That's what's making the wheels go round. But that aside. The piston gasket is been cracked, and so its a bad seal. I gotta get her cut a new bit. I'll have it done by the morrows though don't be minding. So the steam and likes pushes this dongle with each turning of the wheels and moves the steam from the front to the back, steam chills off, drops to the bottom, and falls in the pan that is heated to be more of the steam. Is a real simplicity to it once you know its workings and guts."

I feel like I got and entire lesson, but I can't understand him! I told him I would come another day to learn about the horses, that I hand no intention of being in the way of his work. He smiled and tipped his cap, leaving smudge marks behind.

I went into the kitchen to sit with Fran. I have nothing else to do until Rosalie is back. She looked at me for a moment and started laughing. She asked if i had been talking with Alder. I shook my head saying that I tried, but it was all him talking at me.
She said he was a good mechanic and great with the horses, but his people skills left him with much to be desired.
I told her that I thought he was a wonderful person, to which she laughed harder. 

Alder, as it turns out, is her cousin's son. He was sent to live with her about two years ago. She said he has a nasty temper and had fallen in with the wrong people and had been arrested for mischief. Nothing major, she had discussed it with Father and Edgar before bringing him.

I asked her if she could translate what he tried to tell me, but she shook her head, saying even she doesn't know a half of what he says. That she was very young when they came here, and that she hadn't ever lived in the city, so she didn't know all the fancy talk.

How she can view that as 'fancy talk' is far beyond me. This day has given me such a head ache. I am turning in early. 



March 25th
Father came to my room today just after breakfast. He wanted to know if I could talk. I reluctantly invited him in, not sure what was so important that he couldn't have said it over breakfast. Though in hindsight it was odd that he took breakfast with me and not in his study as he has been doing for the past couple of months.

He sat on the edge of the bed and asked me how I had been, told me that he had been unfair, and that I would be allowed more freedoms, as long as I let he or Edgar know I was free tome come and go as I pleased. But, but I had to be responsible and attend any banquets or dinners that came up, and I was not allowed to be curt and ignore the guests, I had to engage in the festivities.

My heart began to sink as I fear what was coming. He said that there would be several suitors that I was to be introduced to, and he expected that I would threat them with respect and perhaps find a reason to like them, as it was quite likely that  would be marrying one of them in the future. It was my duty to the family to wed someone who was of a good standing. Someone who would bring prosperity to the company. 
This is where I made the biggest mistake.

I asked him how I could marry someone I did not love.

He stood and stomped to the door, turning to face me, his face red with fury. 
"You will do what is best, you will find a husband among the suitors I have chosen, and you will marry him. If you feel the need to roll with some b*****d that will be between you and he. Marriage has nothing to do with love. It is duty, and if you cannot understand that much then we have failed to teach you anything. You will do what is best for the family, or you will leave the family."

Now I know what Rosalie meant.

Shall I never be free?



March 29th
After Father had out little talk I have been dreading this day. I went down to breakfast hoping that the world had forgotten. They had not.
I was informed that we would be dining in mothers room. Father was there waiting for me, a large meal laid out. We dined in relative silence. I had nothing to say to him, and nothing I could say in front of him.

I finished promptly and tried to excuse myself politely, but father asked me to sit back down. He said that he had given some thought into my request and had brought me something from Ganderu. 
It was a leather bound sketchbook and coal pencils. He also had a shoulder bag that it all fit neatly into. I was thrilled! Finally, a cure for my boredom. I thanked him profusely, I could not contain my excitement. Then he said that if I had to go to he shore to draw, at least take Rosalie of Adler with me, he didn't like the idea that such a lovely young lady was in the town alone. I promised that I would do my best and started out of the room, but mother shook her head.
In silence I watched as Mother gracefully guided the conversation around in circles, finally leading him to the fact that he had not yet checked is correspondences. At this he politely excused himself and vanished into his office.

Mother smiled as the door closed behind him. I asked her what it was that I needed to wait for, but she shook her head again. She said she missed when I would follow father around, bothering him about what made ships go, and how the carriage moved without horses. She said she wishes she knew just what happened, that final event that sealed our animosity. I shook my head, I had promised. Thankfully she seemed to understand, because she sighed and said that at least I was still loyal to him, even if we couldn't sit in the same room for long.

Then she said she had the greatest gift, and handed me an envelope. She said it arrived yesterday, late, but she wanted to make today special, as it seemed I needed something to brighten me spirits.
It was a letter, I opened it slowly not sure who it could be from, as the only mark on the envelope read "To Miss Oryn."

And it read as follows;
"I hope this finds you well. Our return to Eaux Reves will be slightly delayed as the weather is rather hostile. 
Please give my regards to the Lady Oryn, and with luck we shall meet again."
F.R."

Mother smiled at me, at I studied the elegant scroll. His handwriting was certainly not that of a sailor. Finally she observed the care he took in being discrete. Even if father saw the letter he would never know it was from a young man, much less a sailor.
Then mother took it and began looking carefully at the ink. She finally handed it back to me and frowned. Her observation was that it looked like a woman had written it.

I looked at her is shock. Ferron, a woman? She had met him. He was hansom, charming, and quite masculine. She finally laughed, saying that was a complement. Usually men are careless and messy, yet this was well thought out and neat. She also said there was no doubt be was a man after the conversation they had. There are some thing women simply do not think about.

I didn't know how to reply. This was rather awkward, to say the least. I couldn't very well tell mother that I had actually listened to them, dispute her telling me to cover my ears. But mother was far from done. She leaned in close to me, and with a most serious expression asked if I had kissed him yet! I stared at her, shocked. Of course I had not kissed him, unless she counted a kiss on the hand. What was she thinking we did n our time together? 

She bust out is a rich and beautiful laughter. A sound I hardly hear anymore, and Oh, despite the torture she was putting me through, I was delighted. When it finally softened to a light chuckle she said that it was obvious that the thought had not so much as crossed my waking mind. 

The rest of the day passed as such, mother and I talking and making jokes. I finally told her of the dream I had, though I confess I blushed and stuttered the entire time. She only laughed harder and agreed that we must not tell father about Ferron. Not unless he is willing to become fathers protege, and that is a most unlikely scenario.

Reviews

[R Smith]

another fine piece of writing, its what i would call a meat and potatoes chapter, the action has been delayed and some background filling is required to give us more insight into characters, you did this very well and despite the story not moving forward at this point you managed to maintain interest and keep my attention on the page, surely the sigh of quality writing, will be back for more soon :)

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! I was a little worried about this one, as I had to build the characters a little bit, and buy a little time, as this needs to follow a certain timeline. I'm glad is flows well and isn't too dull.

[R Smith]

its just fine :)