Visions in Nocturne

A homage to fantasy writer Neil Gaiman author of The Sandman books.

Visions in Nocturne 

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

We exist in dream

But life is reality. 

Open your eyes; sleep 

Author's Note

This literally came to life while dreaming I was falling, which then turned into flying before awaking. I tried to go back to sleep so that I could keep flying but the illusion faded. And I woke in dream, sad. The title is a homage to prolific fantasy writer Neil Gaiman.

Reviews

[Meenakshi Dutta]

OMG!! I can totally relate to this piece of Brevity.
Simply, I would say "to the point"

Bless ya:)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, saga, it is probably my favorite senryu that I have written. It has a very meta physical or spiritual feel to it. Writing it felt like a puzzle the words started to fit right in place. Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it.

[Dave Brown]

I don't know Neil Gaiman but I definitely relate to the dreaming portion

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Dave, for reading and commenting. This was a fun Senryu to write and I actually got the syllables requirements count met on this one. Neil Gaiman is a British fantasy author and comic book writer. He's a bit of an acquired taste but I enjoy his work. My reading tends to be a bit eclectic, though it hasn't made me much smarter I think it has made me a bit imaginative in my writing. Thank so much for reading and commenting my friend.

[Seth Cason]

Damn, dude! You're amazing at this! Sorry my review isn't very profound, but damn!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Seth, for taking the time to read and comment. For me it's blind luck to be honest. Sometimes I just get inspired by a single word or event and it seems I work backwards from there composing. It literally feels like fitting a puzzle together. Almost like seeing something there in a haze I just haven't seen it completely yet. Most of what I write is so eclectic as well. I just can't really explain it either, some of the poetry took 5 minutes like my current one and others a day or two. This poem in the senryu style really did develop from a dream I had where I was falling then suddenly started to fly. I woke up with my arms extended as if I were actually flying and was so angry I wanted to go back to dreaming again. My last poem came from listening to the Rolling Stone's Sympathy for the Devil, while just finishing up a Brother's Grimm tale "Godfather Death". It was pure synchronicity there. Sometimes you just have to open yourself up to art and it comes to you, I guess. A writer's eyes and mind see much different then others. It's almost as if we have a heightened awareness of the world around us. I see it in your work as well as others here in this community who put out amazing writing. We capture lightning in a bottle and reveal it to the world. We are our art and it is us in pieces. Thank you again for the kind words.

[Seth Cason]

Carlos-- I love hearing stories like that. And I understand that synchronicity when several things suddenly click together-- but you've got to hurry and capture it before they disassemble.

I also love how this is one of the few situations in life where this is an honestly healthy exchange:

Me: (1st comment) Damn! DAMN!
You: Thank you for the kind words.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

hahaha I do love conversation, Seth, especially among my peers who are incredible artists in my eyes. Believe me when I say I totally get the same reaction as you do when reading your work and the writings of others here on in this community. Art by nature is always subjective but even so one can not deny its beauty. Even if in disagreement one can separate the person from the work and marvel at the art itself. And I am in awe of many of you here. It takes courage to put your work out there into the world hoping someone will find value in it. At times you question whether what you do is even worth the time and effort to create. But when another artist has taken the time to say 'job well done' that means the world to me. Because to be accepted by a community of artists vastly talented then I who appreciates a single word I wrote it shows the worth of the work itself. And I find contentment in that, as well as friendship.

[Davidgeo]

I want to recommend to you a book of poetry called "The Way of Chuang Tzu" by a trappiest monk named Thomas Merton. You will not be disappointed.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, I will definitely give that a read. Thank you for the recommendation I appreciate it.

[Davidgeo]

It's a good read. It's also an accessible read.

[Miss Sharon]

Though few words are written, the depth of meaning in this post astounds me. Good writing Carlos. ~Sharon

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Sharon, for your kind comment on this work. It's one of my attempts at a Japanese style of poetry called Senryu. I am very much a novice to this type of poetry. My writing style is more geared towards short story and novella format. I struggle with forms of poetry because I love being overly descriptive and effusive in my writing. When I do write poetry it's to challenge myself personally. To do something out of my comfort zone. Your kind comment is truly an encouragement to me as I attempt to improve in this genre of writing. Thank you so much. I am deeply appreciative.

[jen]

Life is the dream and we are waiting to wake up :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Indeed. I can't wait to fly again with eyes wide open. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this poem.

[lightsong]

ah! I wish I can sleep now because my last night wasn't that good, your little poem though in three lines but it brings serenity and calm feelings. we are our dreams and we create our reality, our soul drift in these two worlds and in the world in-btween, so we are truly both, our dreams and our reality.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you , lightsong, for reading and commenting on this poem. I like your interpretation of this poem it fits the words just right. To me these words are very mysterious in almost an enlightened way. I try to figure out the sense of the meaning but it eludes me. Hearing what you say fits its meaning. This style of poetry is called senryu and it is very new to me and difficult to write. Senryu poetry is created in three lines. The first must have a 5 syllable phrase, the second must have 7 syllables, and the 3rd must have 5 syllables to finish. They are like little puzzles to make. Some are funny, some are wise, and they almost share a similarity with haiku but are slightly different. This type of poetry is new to me and I wanted to try attempting to write one because it is a challenge. As a writer never be afraid to write something you have never done before or are not used to. Even if you fail you still win and it improves your skill and can make you a better writer because of it. Writing poetry is not something I do much because my favorite style of writing is short stories. I like using lots of words to describe things and make the reader feel the places I take them to. Poetry to me is different and challenging because there is less words in them then most short stories. And poems really challenge me to make the reader feel with less words said. Thank you so much for your kind words my friend.

[lightsong]

You are truly a kind soul Sir! I know of poetry forms but I am the worst LOL I am comfortable with my free verse style, I was only interested in Sonnets, senryu and haiku are challenging because You need to deliver your message in only three lines, if You wish help in poetry forms we have here our Master Poet Richard, he is the best of the bests! may You keep dreaming beautiful dreams, and create beautiful poetry~ 💕

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you lightsong for your encouragement. I'm like you I enjoy the free form style of poetry. If I had to choose the type of poetry I could only write it would be free form. It feels more easier to me in its flow. I think your poetry is beautiful and much better then mine. Thank you again for the kind words and information.

[lightsong]

ohhh :) Thank You, and You are so welcome my new most kind friend 🌸

[Chris Shaw]

This reminded me of many times I would have preferred to stay in my dreams than wake up to the reality of living. The dream world can be a beautiful escape. In dreams you can achieve anything and be anyone. Enjoyable senryu here Carlos.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you, Chris, for the kind words. Dreams to me reflect our internal heaven, Nirvana, the highest spiritual awareness. I so love the dreams of flight.

[Fran Marie]

yes life is certainly
the real thing to
be sure..and sometimes
It's a harsh reality at that

you're almost
there with this one
Carlos just one syllable
over the count..just
a suggestion but ultimately
your choice..2ond line drop
the word "our" or
reality to realism
very well penned

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Excellent advice I feel it flows better with "but life is reality". I will remove the 'our' from it which should do it. Thank you for the help on this. I really enjoyed the message of this poem. It has a mystical quality to it.

[Fran Marie]

yes indeed your writing
is spot on with a great
message and.mystical
flow

[Relic]

I guess one of our goals should be to make our dreams a reality. That would be nice. :)

One to think about. Nice one.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Omg if I could make dreams come true I would want my own island with clones of myself running around and making out with each other. Oh wait...that is more a fantasy instead hahaha. That sounds like an inspirational poem to me. Lol