The demon inside

The demon inside

A Story by Valkyrie Warrior
"

It's true, he's there and he's hungry.

"

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection.  I still hadn’t really gotten used to my new red eyes. They had only been red a little while, ever since he arrived. The demon inside me was hungry, he was always hungry. I could suppress the hunger but one night of month, on the new moon, the hunger demand to be sated. I had tried everything to get him out, but he was still there, looking through my eyes, speaking through my lips and killing with my hands. I could hear dad staggering around downstairs. I knew he’d call for me and I would have to go. But what if this time he kills me. The demon inside me writhed, I looked out the window, no moon. Tonight was the night. Dad bellowed for me and I winched, the bruises from last night still fresh on my skin. Kill the demon inside whispered kill. I opened the door and went downstairs. Now dad lays dead on the kitchen floor, blood making a deadly silhouette around his lifeless body. I don’t know, maybe this demon wasn’t such a bad thing after all.       

 

 

 

 

 

2nd

May 13, 2015


 

 

 

 

6th place

Jan 18, 2015


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2015 Valkyrie Warrior


Author's Note

Valkyrie Warrior
I have made it horror now thank you all for your help :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Mystery or horror? A interesting tale. You gave enough to create situation and bad ending. You left open the door for the who, why, what, where and how of this tale. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you. Cool, I curently have it under ficton but if i get enough reviews saying it is a more exa.. read more
Coyote Poetry

5 Years Ago

Always decision of the writer. Had the option to be in a few places.
Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thanks ;).............................



Reviews

Exquisitely dark ... Nicely done ...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

4 Years Ago

Thank's a lot!
hahaha i love it. Really well executed. extremely dark piece that definitely provokes thought.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
This story is great and I love demons.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you and me too!
A bit confusing toward the end. I would go more into detail about what the demon does to her or just her experiences and how it controls her. Although it does interest the reader whether she's crazy or an actual demon controls her. Great piece I would consider adding more to it! I would defiantly love reading a full page about this!!! (:

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Ok I will take that into account, thanks for the review!
Very good piece of work and thanks for entering my
comp :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

And thank you for reviewing!!
Just adding blood doesn't make a story scary. Your words need to convey fright, but it would make a thrilling mystery. If you really want to write horror. I suggest you do some research on other horror icons. The best place to start is Alfred Hitchcock, Stephen King, or H P Lovecraft. This is some friendly advice from a horror writer.



Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you for the advice Steven, the popular vote was the story genre was Horror so yeah.... but tha.. read more
Steven J. McCarathy

5 Years Ago

I see that you like drama maybe you should try writing romance, or poetry. Your Welcome to the advi.. read more
Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

I do write a tad of romance and a lot o poetry
How creepy. When I started reading I thought it was going to be something about how they wanted the demon out, so I liked how in the end it was different to that. I loved the last line, it just really summed it all up.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

I am glad you like it!
this is an awesome story!! great work

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much
Wow. A very good poem on the dark side. Really enjoyed...:).....

Posted 5 Years Ago


Sami Khalil

5 Years Ago

My pleasure. Any time...:)....
Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thanks again.
Sami Khalil

5 Years Ago

:):::::::::::::::::::::::::
This is horror and a mixture of non-fiction. I like it a lot. You should work on this some more... I would like to see where this finishes off.
Keep writing!

C. Lee Battaglia

Posted 5 Years Ago


Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much
C. Lee Battaglia

5 Years Ago

Your welcome.
Valkyrie Warrior

5 Years Ago

:)........................

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Added on December 3, 2014
Last Updated on July 7, 2015

Author

Valkyrie Warrior
Valkyrie Warrior

Vallhallah , My mind



About
Hello again I have decided to return to this community for real this time. Sorry to all those who sent me read requests, I am getting on to those as you read this :) more..

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