Box Rain Dark

The Saga of my undying love.

Spirit, light, shade and dark

I am mysteriously in love with you

 

                         The sun, the moon and the stars

                         I pray to the heaven above that you are the one

 

Hands, kisses, and hugs.

I wish tomorrow will come with promises of real love

 

Rainbow, jewel stone, and fire

Passionate love we both enjoy and cherish

 

Storms, big waves and earthquakes

I’m wondering if we could build a life together

 

                            Space, empty room and box

                            Now my life has no direction

 

Clouds, rain and tears

Now I have lost you

 

Box…Rain…Dark Goodbye my love

Author's Note

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

I love what you did with this poem. Nature just naturally calls out to me in ways that nothing else can. Whether it be in connection to spiritual things or love, nature feels honest. Great title. Each three word choices has me stopping to receive from it.

[MOON]

Lovely write with great imagery , happiness to sadness well illustrated.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Moon glad you like it :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The first two lines of this piece are beautiful. The second two are a little less original, I would perhaps use different words for "sun", "moon" and "stars", because in comparison to the rest of the work, they seem a little too mundane. All in all, nicely done.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Girl, I will consider your suggestion. Thanks a lot for reading my work it means a lot to me. Thank you.

[Mike Emil]

everything ends
that's the way things go

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Mike, thank your for your time reading my work.

[Jack...]

Very creative styling, you have a unique way of expressing yourself that is fun to read and smooth on the mind.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Great words from a great writer :) Thanks Mr. Jack you are always an inspiration.

[Strawberry]

Again, a touching and moving poem Marc.

Only suggestion - "Now I lost you" is a bit oddly phrased. "Now I have lost you" would be better grammatically.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Straw love your suggestion I will change it :) thanks

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An interesting and modern piece of poetry that flows well and uses changes in type face well. Not personally a fan of this but it worked in this piece. The words spoke alone though and it had that lovely feel of pain and anguish. Nice Marc.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir John, your words always an inspiration to me :)

[Ohhhwillow]

This was very deceiving and I see how you have used several items in a symbolic way, the empty room signifying loneliness and desolation, being lost in the clouds as love is but a dream to you as rain pours down with your tears. The "mysteriously in love with you" part I did not grasp.. Do you mean that though you know why you are in love, it's strength is something mysterious as it feels unearthly or simply that you do not know why you are in love? I do not believe in 'the one', but one thing I do know is if you think it is them, you shouldn't need to pray as if there is but one person on the earth you are destined to be with, unless they pass away, you will surely end up with them again opine nobody wants to be alone and another partner for either of you would not be fitting to the fate you were both supposed to have.. Anyway, nice write, work on how you word things, if they are exactly what you intend to say, and yeah keep going. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks willow your kind words is always inspiration for a newbie like me Thanks a lot.

[Sir Joe]

The transition from sweetness to romance to sorrow is remarkable.
The beginning of the poem never gave me an idea that it would end in a sorrowful tone.
The title is, I think, an allusion to a casket, tears and death.
I just wondered how I would be able to connect the first line to the second line of each stanza. Maybe that's your way of letting the readers think to much. And now I'm still thinking too much about the lines. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe for reading my work. Thank you for the kind words.
The first line and second line literally connect through the senses of the object. The colors, shapes, sounds and nature of the things evolve into our mind and recognize these facts as relative forces shaping our life experience. This is my idea in writing this piece. Thanks a lot.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

And you are right about the title it is a sad goodbye.

[Sir Joe]

Oh! I'm right. hehehe Thank you for clearing things up to me. =)
Nice one again, Sir Marc. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe. Thanks a lot!

[Sir Joe]

Death is really a universal theme. All of us can relate to it because we all know, i guess, the feeling of losing someone forever. Maybe that's the reason why many poets write about it. I myself even wrote one death poem. =) If you want, you may check it out here, Sir Marc:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/joe_sergio/1000636/
=)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yeah I will check it now. :) thanks for sharing.

[Holly Mason]

I love the bounce to this piece
I went with it
heading into a strong love hands and kisses
then ending with a good bye
love all the descriptive words you have used
thank you for sharing

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Holly your words is always an inspiration. :) glad your like it and thanks for your time reading my work.