Dealing with it

Dealing with it

A Poem by Mazie Tackett

It's always me who's wrong.
It's always me that gets the blame.
Good thing I'm strong,
And can hold everything in and not go insane.

Or else the fighting would begin,
But it doesn't cause I bury my feelings deep.
Ain't that an unoriginal spin.
Cause for most it will continue to steep.

But it won't for me, I'm sure.
For one I'm already insane.
And two I am mature.
I'm sure I can live with a little pain.

I have no one in which to confide.
I'm already going to h***.
So I'm just gonna hide,
And I'm also not gonna tell.

© 2013 Mazie Tackett


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Featured Review

I think you have something here, very good structure. Only recommendation I would give is try to use a little more word play and metaphors to let the reader feel the pain you feel. Example: "But it doesnt because i bury me feelings deep" Or what I might say: "My feelings locked and hid away deep" . With a little more revision I think thsi has the potential to be a great piece, and is good in its self. Keep writing and let your emotions stain your paper and leave the reader breathless!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Just don't let the pin pop your bubble,

Posted 7 Years Ago


Minor edits aside, this is nice, loud and clear, what a reader can take away from this is more clear than crystal, enter this into something, its a winner.

Posted 7 Years Ago


The insane line reminds of the quote from a Lisa Unger book: "Once you've been there you never quite make it all the way back. "
Or something like that. Not really dark; just when you've had a chance to see over the edge. Things become a little clearer. Take a peek, if you dare.
:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Genuine, confident and real.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like this, but the lines about the speaker being insane and mature don't fit. Sorry. I know that may sound harsh, but the speaker is obviously not that, so it rubs the reader the wrong way. Otherwise, this is so awesome, and ends so sharply. Great write. Good job rhyming. It's hard, but comes naturally to you.

Posted 7 Years Ago


And you didn't cuss. Lol.. I said I liked that. I guess you understood that?

Posted 7 Years Ago


Thanks for PMing me. It was in reference to this section:
"ut it won't for me, I'm sure.
For one I'm already insane.
And two I am mature.
I'm sure I can live with a little pain. "

It's a list, an outline. It's almost acting like a verse, without being one. It's the rough draft before the final cut IMHO.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very relatable. I'm so glad you opted out of cussing. Sometimes, the poem is just an excuse to cuss. In this case, it really works. I don't like the lists you used. It is distracting, like reading the blueprint of the poem instead of its reality, no?

Posted 7 Years Ago


almost everyone can feel this way sometimes

Posted 7 Years Ago


I know somebody with this mindset, and he's my best friend. It's a really good poem, and easy to relate with for a lot of people.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on June 13, 2012
Last Updated on May 8, 2013

Author

Mazie Tackett
Mazie Tackett

AR



About
My name is Mazie Tackett. I'm unusual, diiferent, weird. I've never really been that good with people so I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have love me to death and i love them. I've bee.. more..

Writing
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