10

10

When Cari woke up that morning, it was a Saturday. She rubbed her eyes with her fists and exhaled slowly, relieved that she didn’t have to go to school that day. There was already enough homework and missing assignments piling up around her; she didn’t want to have to deal with any of that. She could have a free day to see Keevan for the first time in a while. Other than her, Cari’s only friend was Amantis, although he lived quite a ways away so it was difficult to see him regularly.

Pushing her head up from the pillow, Cari climbed from bed and looked down at herself, realizing that she had slept in her day clothes again. Her laptop was sitting on the floor beside her feet and there were cords tangled everywhere. She had stayed up late on her drawing tablet. She had been too distressed to sleep. What Jack had said to her had bothered her. How did Keevan never understand what an awful person Jack really was?

I can tell her about what he said when I see her today, Cari thought to herself, heading to her dresser and pulling out a gray striped turtleneck sweater. She undressed herself and hesitated to look over in the mirror at herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she stared at her own reflection for a moment. Her eyes darted away. She didn’t want to look at the scars. Cari quickly slid on her new sweater and a pair of gray skinny jeans, then closed the dresser and left her room into the bathroom. She hurriedly brushed her teeth and freshened up a bit, just to cover her insomniac eyes and the ancient scar running down her cheek with makeup. She had to focus on talking to Keevan.

Around the corner and down the stairs, Cari didn’t stop to see if her mother was passed out drunk on the couch or not. She was supposed to check and make sure she hadn’t swallowed her own tongue or drank too much, but today she didn't want to deal with that. She didn’t want to deal with anything but this. Only one thing at a time. Then everything would be okay.

 

“Hey, Cari!” Keevan greeted her, letting Cari inside the house. “How are you today?”

“Fine,” Cari replied, giving Keevan a smile, “what about you?”

“I’m doing pretty well,” Keevan said, “except...last night was kind of odd.”

“How?”

Keevan led Cari into the living room and they both sat down on the couch. Keevan sighed.

“Well,” she started, brushing some hair from her eyes, “do you remember Karkat, from our Homeroom?”

“Yeah,” Cari replied. “Why?’

“I’ve been talking to him more often, in the library and during school sometimes. But...last night, he came to my house crying after a fight with his mother. I let him stay here.”

“Really?” Cari said quietly. Keevan nodded, and then smiled a bit.

“I think all he really needs is a friend,” she said gently.

“But he always seems so angry at everyone,” Cari said.

“He just doesn’t know how to express his feelings.” Keevan blushed a bit and added, “Also, I think he may have a bit of a crush on me.”

Cari fidgeted, feeling a sudden wave of uneasiness. “How can you tell?” she asked, her voice cracking a bit.

“Just the look in his eyes,” Keevan giggled. “It’s really sweet.”

“Doesn’t that make you nervous, though?” Cari said, not meaning to. She recoiled for a moment and then quickly said, “Since you’re already with Jack, I mean.”

“Not really,” Keevan said. “Everything will work out. I just have to stay friends with Karkat and nothing more.”

Cari felt her stomach turn. Just friends and nothing more.

“I-I guess that it’ll be okay, then,” Cari stammered, glancing away. “As long as you don't...lead him on.”

“I would never do that,” Keevan said seriously. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Cari tensed up and she adjusted her glasses. Of course Keevan didn’t want to hurt anybody, but couldn’t she see that this was only leading into hurt for everyone? Why didn’t Keevan understand that there was already someone waiting for her"someone who was already so close?

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Gamzee stopped by, too,” Keevan said after a while. “He was going to stay in the guest bedroom but Karkat was already there.”

“Did he stay in the living room, then?” Cari asked, shaking off her previous thoughts.

“No,” Keevan said, frowning. “He acted weird when I told him that Karkat was staying in the guest room. He said he wasn’t going to stay here, and then he left before I could say anything else. I’m worried about him.”

“You shouldn’t worry so much,” Cari said, looking at Keevan seriously. “You’re always worrying about everyone but yourself.”

“I care about other people more than my own comfort,” Keevan replied, looking back at Cari.

“But you’re going to get hurt if you do that!”

“I’ll be fine, Cari. I can handle a little trouble. I just want to help other people so they’re not alone or hurt!”

“But people will take advantage of that,” Cari said, a little quieter. She suddenly remembered what Jack had said to her the previous day, and she looked down at her feet, silent. She bit down on her lip. Keevan turned and gave Cari a concerned look, seeing that she was distressed. Keevan put a hand over hers.

“What’s the matter?” Keevan asked her.

“Something happened yesterday,” Cari said.

“What was it? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, but I...don’t have your drawing,” Cari said hesitantly. “For your birthday present, remember?”

“Oh, Cari, that’s alright,” Keevan said, patting Cari’s hand gently and smiling sympathetically. “You don’t have to worry about that. But weren’t you almost finished with it? Why don’t you just finish it when you can?”

“I don’t have it anymore,” Cari said, glancing away. “It got ruined.”

“Ruined? How?”

“I...well, actually, it was...” Cari started. She gulped a bit and looked back at Keevan.
“Jack ripped it in half.”

“Jack?” Keevan echoed. “Why would he do that, Cari?”

“Because he’s an a*****e,” Cari blurted. Keevan cringed, and then frowned at her.

“Don’t use that language about him,” Keevan scolded. “He wouldn’t just ruin your drawing for no reason.”

“Keevan, he told me that he’s never going to change for you!” Cari argued. “He called me a ‘little s**t’ and he called you a b***h! He said that to my face, I’m telling the truth!”

“I can’t believe you’d make up such lies,” Keevan said, folding her arms.

“What?! They’re not lies!”

“Cari, I know you’re just saying this because you don’t like Jack and you don’t want me to be with him!”

“That’s not true” Cari shouted. “It’s true that I don’t like him, but this is why! He really said these things to me yesterday! Then he ripped my drawing just to be a jerk, and walked away!”

“Stop it, Cari; you know that I hate lying!” Keevan shouted back, wiping her eyes from incoming tears. Cari felt a pang in her heart. Why wouldn’t Keevan believe her? She was her best friend.

“Kee, I’m not lying,” Cari said weakly. “Believe me.”

Keevan shook her head and turned away.

“I do not believe that,” Keevan said. Cari clenched her fists, suddenly frustrated with Keevan. She started trembling, hurt and angry.

“You know, Keevan, you’re going to break a lot of people’s hearts someday,” she said in a low voice. Cari stood up and started walking to the door, feeling hot tears rising in her eyes.

“Cari"”

“I have to go home and...do homework,” Cari said quickly, grabbing the front door knob and leaving the house. She closed the door and started down the sidewalk, folding her arms and not looking back. She wiped her eyes behind her glasses and kept her head down low. Why did Keevan have to be so blind?

 

As Cari walked, she wasn't watching where she was going. Suddenly, she bumped into someone else hurrying along the sidewalk.

“Hey, watch where you’re goin’!” an angry voice grumbled. Cari pushed up her glasses nervously and looked at the person she had run into.

“Sorry, I, uh"” she started. She was cut off when she locked eyes with the bystander. He was about her height, with slicked blonde hair. There was a violet streak in his hair. He had thick-rimmed glasses like Cari’s, and he had on a striped scarf. Cari looked him over as he looked at her, both of them taking a few moments to register what had happened. Cari looked back up at his face. He had brilliant blue eyes. He looked a bit familiar. Cari’s words were stuck in her throat.

“...Sorry,” Cari said, taking a step back.

“J-just be careful next time,” the boy said, adjusting his glasses. He quickly pushed past her and walked on. Cari watched him go, feeling her cheeks start to burn. Something about him was odd. She felt her heartbeat quicken. Why couldn’t she place a name on him?