fear

fear me not.

I'm tired of spending my time despising you

Blaming you for my attitude
& activities I didn't put my time into

Slapping you away like a fly on my knee

Secretly hoping you'd come back because
you offered me comfort and security

But there is a price to pay
taken with no sympathy

Unfinished paintings

Broken relationships

incomplete thoughts

Reminiscing on how things would of turned out
if only I asked or replied "sure, I'll give it shot

But I've realized you're just an entity
 
Lurking the halls of my authenticity

I suppose I could let you bully me

But I'd rather stuff you in a locker

and swallow the key. 

Reviews

[Tam Warink]

I sense an oscillation of phobias. Some are external and some are internal. There is a projection of internal phobia upon external objects (people, places, things) and internal goals (hopes, dreams, desires). To "swallow the key" is simply a metaphor for internalizing and compartmentalizing the phobias and uncompleted goal states. This condition is rendered with symbolism that is inherent in the life experience scenario. The only question for me as a reader is to guess if the true nature of the piece is non-personal observational or self-documentary. Either way, nicely written. I appreciate the cantilevered stanzas as they give the form an architectural that serves to compliment the jagged expression of emotion pent up within expressive voice.

100 shiny locker keys

[Nebunova]

this is a self documentary. thank you for your insight on this. ~nebunova

[Baby Ricochet]

If I wrote this word for word I'd be labeled misogynist a*****e and hounded off this site. Why are you allowed to get away with it? I know you're female, but still, explain yourself. I'm not much on placating

[Nebunova]

lol its not targeting a person, but rather a feeling or "entity" within me and how its affected me. and even if it was targeting a person, as a HUMAN BEING feeling threatened or bullied, i have every right to defend myself.

[Baby Ricochet]

Fair enough answer. Thank you

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh I almost forgot. I did like the poem. It has Hutzbah. Yes I know I spelt that wrong.

[h d e rushin]

a womans pain use to bother the literary world in the same way the priestess-women authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion, would bother the highly authoritative priesthood. Dickinson
changed the way we view a womans pain for eternity and now allows all women to be intellectual
about it. To even shout about it...

I love this structure. There is something about it prima facie, it's true and sufficient first impression.
It doesn't take away from the power and the bravery you're trying to display..well written,

dana

[Nebunova]

thaank you :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Nah * ah* ice. Translation nice. Excellent piece of poetry and wisdom. My one critique is the formatting choice. I think it would stand better wholly centred. Not a big thing and maybe more to do with WC programming. Either way, outstanding and truthful piece of poetry.

[Nebunova]

much appreciated ! ~Nebunova

[MOON]

Beautiful assertive write.

[Nebunova]

thank you.

[Jeremy Baker]

I like the assertiveness and empowerment that underpins this. Well crafted and enjoyable. Thank you for sharing this!

[Nebunova]

thank you for reading!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Good for you, Nevunova. Self doubt and insecurity never made anyone happy or successful. You have written a very strong poem which suggests without telling - the very best kind of poetry.

[Nebunova]

you got that right...appreciate your kind words. ~nebunova

[bobc]

N...found this an interesting piece, both in terms of wording and structure. I wasn't sure who the 'you' was you were speaking to until the last stanza...at least I think I understood. 'You' is that internal critic that always seems dissatisfied with our efforts at whatever...yes?

Just one small thing though...in the second stanza, the line 'Reminiscing on how things would of turned out'...I think you intended 'Reminiscing on how things would have turned out'...yes?

Thanx for posting...bobc

[Nebunova]

yes, and that critic is named Fear. thank you for reading ~Nebunova.

[bobc]

Yup...fear is the great censor. Sometimes, you just need to push through and take the chance.

[Mark]

I like the rhythm in this, and the imagery of female predator... :)

[Nebunova]

ah yes. sometimes we forget how powerful women truly are.

[Baby Ricochet]

I live with my girlfriend and she has final say on pretty much everything we do so no, I don't have the opportunity to forget how powerful she is because she lets me know it in 1000 different ways

[Mark]

The saying goes 'girls rule, guys drool'. I say As long as there are girls, who cares about rules? :P

[zainul]

What a suspenseful work!
You pose like a fragrant flower in your outward look but you want to devour your partner as a green mantid.
How have you crafted such a wonderful gem!

[Nebunova]

Thank you and i appreciate your kind words zainul!

[zainul]

You are always welcome,dear poet.:)