i thought i saw you the other day

i thought i saw you the other day

A Poem by LouisianaBird

it got me wondering

what my skin is doing here

but first

let me be explicit


i f*****g hate you


and im so hungry

but not in the way i want to be


i think of how

one day my teeth will

no longer be in my mouth

how sometimes it already feels that way


how things are always changing color

and you were supposed to help me

figure it out

calm me down

and meds

i need new meds


and how

your eyes were so much

like my grandmothers were


what i imagine it would be like

if the sky made love to the forest


and people tell me i need to figure it out

whether or not i capitalize the letters “h” and “g”

when talking about God

or god


and i miss laying my head on your chest

how it always felt like a broken bird cage


uncomfortable

so f*****g uncomfortable


yet somehow,

the only place

i could fall asleep


and god d****t,

i want to feel heavy eyes again

and i want to vomit


vomit

vomit

over and over again


vomit that you never grabbed my hand

and never looked me in the eyes long enough


i have her eyes too

you know?


i want to spit up

every time you came inside me


and tell you how it never felt right

how your god wouldn’t be proud


that if He existed

he wouldn’t have made me this way


and you were wrong

for calling non believers lazy


we try so f*****g hard

every day to believe in something


in god

science

in ourselves


and we aren’t given forgiveness

or forwarding addresses

to those who have left us


and f**k

i forget sometimes


that you didn’t ask to leave

that He took you and

he is looking into your eyes now


and i hate you both for it

 

© 2019 LouisianaBird


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Reviews

the body will rot, the soul will maintain, rise or fall. So they say, but i am in a similar boat as this speaker in the poem. Questioning where it all leads....do we believe in an Entity just hoping this mortal coil when we shed it will not be the end. That there may be something more out there is what we surmise. For what?
To make this life worth it even through all the pain----because everything happens for a reason?
I was reading this thinking of Joan Osborne..."what if god was one of us, a slob like one of us"
and there he was on the bus, and he told me it all was a myth...and i should have taken better care of my teeth.
your work impels replies to scamper from the pen of the reader.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Isn't it strange how we blame people for dying, or maybe dying at the wrong time.
Certain people are needed, just needed to be there to put things right.
I suppose that's why we get angry with the dead, they really do control us at times.

Posted 1 Year Ago


this is so raw. great vent. off the beaten path but enjoyed the strong wording and imagery. clearly from deep within - has to be when mentioning puking. very emotional write. the whole thing is powerful but the ending is explosive ... :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


LouisianaBird

2 Years Ago

thank you!
Love this, you poured you're absolute heart out here, I applaud you for this amazing piece of poetic feeling and heart you poured out here, well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


LouisianaBird

2 Years Ago

thank you!
SO ...you've been doing some purging I see...adore this and I see you have not lost that fountain of emotion that escapes from every line like a winged bat from the cave of poetic hell. Beautiful write..."f*****g" love it~ Thanks again!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


LouisianaBird

2 Years Ago

Oh hey, hahah I guess you checked it out on your own accord...

thank you thank you
Sighhh, Dear Poetess 🍂
We both know how unbelievably rare and immensely important finding that perfect special someone to love/to love us back is … most never find their soulmate in a lifetime.
And, when we do, to allow them to become part of our heart and entire being … then, to have them ripped from our very fibre for no understandable or sensible reason, can become almost more than one human being can bear … completely more than far too many can.
Well, truth is, Dear Lady-Poet, despite whatever elegance and skill my words may range into, I could never put it all as deeply touching or poetically eloquent as You have.
The sheer amazement in your originality and creative syntax reads so powerfully I am made to feel your own expressed angst and passion in my core
The vitriolic timbre of:
"you didn’t ask to leave,
He took you,
and he is looking into your eyes, now.
And, I hate you both for it"

Whew! What a thrilling writer you truly are … thank you; I'm smitten! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 2 Years Ago


LouisianaBird

2 Years Ago

You're making me blush! Thank you :) You are so sweet.
Richard 🍃

2 Years Ago

NOW, You've got Me blushing? ; )

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Added on May 18, 2019
Last Updated on May 18, 2019

Author

LouisianaBird
LouisianaBird

About
The happiest times are the minutes spent in my mind. The most beautiful I have ever felt was in a daydream where I was completely someone else; someone better. And when the truth hits, and my reality.. more..

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