Chapter Two

Mysterious orange glows appear within the thicket of the forest, leaving Lady Leon to believe that they may no longer be alone, and that their chance for escape may be over.

    

     Lady Leon remained silent for a moment, gently rocking her little girl back to a peaceful slumber. Afterwards, she wrapped the child in a blanket, holding her close to her chest, and stepped out of the coach into the cold.

     She followed his lead as they made way a short distance beyond the coach, climbing a snow littered hill. Large, white pines huddled tightly nearby, glistening under the pale blue moonlight. A constant breeze shifted around them. It teased the ends of her dress, played with her hair, and whispered faintly in her ears.

     From the corner of her eye, appeared a tiny, warm glow that came from deep within the thicket of the woods.  She turned towards it and watched as it gradually faded into the distance. Her eyes narrowed.

     “M'lady?” The driver had already reached the highest point of the hill, and he stared at her with an odd expression.

     Lady Leon offered one last, hurried glance back to the still forest and then to the coach, before finally catching up with him.

     They stood at the edge of a tall cliff and spread out before them lay a magnificent portrait of the night sky. Hundreds of stars glimmered in every possible direction, while the moon hid behind a thin veil of fog.  All seemed to be at ease, until she heard an all too familiar sound, a shrill scream.

     The lady crept closer towards the edge, allowing her gaze to drift down towards the far forest below.  A small city that had once remained hidden there had been torched, and the fire continued to thrive.  Tuffs of black smoke crept upwards at the sky, blending in entirely with the darkness of the night.

     “Master Leon…” the coachman began, “had asked that I take you there, Madam.”

     A chilling wind picked up and glided past them; bits of ash and the foul smell of charred wood trailed behind it.

     Lady Leon let out a heavy sigh before turning away.

     He promised they would be safe, that this horrific nightmare would finally end and that soon they would be together again. He said they wouldn’t have to run away anymore. She wanted their little girl to have a secure future, a chance to live without fear, to be able to explore, and hopefully influence the others about their precious world. Though their burning safe haven below the cliff site did little to convince her of so. She knew that this nightmare had only just begun to run its course, and they were trapped in it.

     It seemed only days after her marriage, after swearing loyalty to the King, her very life was in danger. Her husband on the other hand was used to it, accustomed to living a life of hiding, permanently separated from any means of civilization. And sure at first it was exciting, fending off the intruders together by planning traps and ambushes. Until of course their tiny child was born. That was when it all changed. The excitement vanished. Fear took over; it consumed her completely, and before long it would consume him too. And the running, the hiding and the seclusion? Torturous.

     “Perhaps there is somewhere else I could take you?” Said the coachman, yanking the woman back into reality.

     Yes, but where? She thought, her eyes lingering in the forest. They widened the moment it appeared again - that warm, mysterious glow. But this time it was much closer, and there was more than just one.

     “Although we may eventually need to give the horses a rest...” He froze, his face suddenly covered with worry lines.  “Madam, is everything alright?”

     From within the white forest charged a cluster of figures; their flaming torches lit up their gleaming spears, blades, and wicked grins with an orange glow.

     “Good God…” huffed the man. “I can’t believe it. They’ve found us.”

Reviews

[Autumn]

Again, well written. This time, I did notice a few grammar errors, mainly in just one paraghragh. One was a Fragmented sentance near the end, and the rest of them were just a lack of commas where they're needed. Other than that, you've done fairly well. I enjoy reading this, knowing very litle about what is going on and why she keeps running.

[Robert Guttersohn]

"He promised they would be..." Clarify she is talking about her husband here.


Her life of danger is reality. When recommending they go elsewhere, the coachman pulls back into the present.

At this point you've got to give us a hint of what is going on. Why does she have to run? Who are they? Something. Readers don't like to be teased for too long. Give us something in this chapter.

[SilentVerses]

Your writing is gripping, astonishingly so and holds such a light to the way in which your words glide across the page, as though effortless in the way they move, you paint the picture wonderfully well, I can see her with the child wrapped within the blanket of a worried mum protective fierce and loyal despite terror's grasp. And the ethereal forest, haunting and beautiful as silence descends making the slightest wind sound like a cacophony of noise, piercing screams and crackling flames cause a grating of fleeting heat beats to occur, we can feel the realisation dawn upon the characters, pulled from her inner thoughts the woman becomes defeated. Simply wonderful.

[EMF]

Damn. Don't want to review this, just want to read the next bit. Just one thing you may want to change. The line 'I do say Madam, is everything alright?' feels a little stilted, especially for a servant. Possibly loose the 'I do say'. But if it works for you and you're happy with it, leave it as is.
Beyound that I'd leave it standing afrer a grammar check.
I love it.